Christianity

Christianity is not about learning to live within the lines; Christianity is about the joy of coloring.

That is a quote from the chapter I read this morning from Dangerous Wonder. Jen & I were talking about this last night, how too often Christians are so concerned with what happens after we die, that we miss out on living life here and now.

Jesus was telling people about the kingdom of God once, and he said, "God's kingdom is right here with you" (Luke 17:21 - link is to Amplified Version) As I read that line recently with our boys I envisioned Jesus pointing to his chest, meaning that the kingdom of God is more of a perspective ... a way of thinking, living, interacting with God, the world around you, and others. It's a heart issue.

I just liked the quote and wanted to share. May your day be full of joyful coloring!

Don't I Know You From Somewhere?

I was noticing something quite strange last night...

At the boys baseball games last night, we met some friends of our friends last night, and that got me to thinking. They are friends with several of our good friends (we regularly hear their names in conversation), and so we were talking with them about how we all knew each other. Some kinda fun/random circumstances brought everyone together. Very cool. I'm certain that God was wisely directing all of that. (Or at least, none of it surprised him) :-)

When we started thinking about it, I noticed that most (maybe all?) of the people we spend time with (not just "know") are not people we met through any "institutional church" structure. That actually really shocked me.

One of the things that I do occasionally wonder about with us not attending weekend services anywhere is just how that keeps us "off the radar". Even though I find public gatherings quite lacking for any real connecting with people... it is at least a place to see them, and be seen. And I have always also had this (apparently false) notion that most of the people we hang out with we met through "going to church" together.

I guess I was wrong.

Does that mean that we just hang out with the bottom feeding scum who "claim" to follow Jesus but won't give up a couple measly hours on a Sunday morning to be with other believers? Perhaps. :-) But, I don't think so. A lot of the people we spend time with - speaking of believers - are part of weekend services and more in that setting. Now, definitely several of our friends are in the same place we are with all of that, but I would definitely say not the majority.

Could it possibly mean that such structures do not build the best, most lasting relationships? Could it just be that we did a poor job of doing that? Maybe both? Maybe something else? I really don't have the answer.

I know that our friends who just moved to Maryland definitely have some great, close, deep friendships with people whom they met via their "church". And certainly that can happen. I found it completely fascinating that it is not true for us. Most of the Christians we spend time with we met through various other settings and endeavors. So crazy!

There's really no point to this, other than to share that interesting observation, and to just throw that question out there to you. Could this show that good friendships with other believers not only can happen outside of the institutional church structure, but perhaps even be better? (Better doesn't really fit here as relationships are not really quantifiable, as that qualifier would suggest. I just mean, deeper, more lasting, going beyond conversations simply when you're in the same place.)

If you have any thoughts, please do post your comments.

Relationality

This morning the boys and I continued our trek through the book of Matthew, with a tiny chunk from chapter five. I was just going to reference it, but I thought perhaps you might like to read the whole bit together for the context of what we saw in it today.

Matthew 5:21-25 (CEV)
You know that our ancestors were told, "Do not murder" and "A murderer must be brought to trial." But I promise you that if you are angry with someone, you will have to stand trial. If you call someone a fool, you will be taken to court. And if you say that someone is worthless, you will be in danger of the fires of hell.

So if you are about to place your gift on the altar and remember that someone is angry with you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to God.

Before you are dragged into court, make friends with the person who has accused you of doing wrong. If you don't, you will be handed over to the judge and then to the officer who will put you in jail.

Did you see it? What stood out to you about those three situations? I asked my boys, "What was the most important thing in all of those stories?"

At first they said excitedly, "Don't be mad!" I said, "That's part of it..." hoping they would continue. They did. And actually, not too many thoughts later, they hit on what I was probing for.

"Relationship," said Ian. (At that point I knew that he has been listening to me before this morning.) :-) "That's right! In each of these stories, the relationship was the most important!"

You and I have read that story, perhaps mainly that verse, many times over. Anger is the same as murder. Don't call your brother a "fool"... or else! Don't bring any offerings before you fix your argument with your brother. But in the bigger picture–the context–I saw that a common theme ran through all of the stories.

But before I get to that, did you notice who bears the relational "responsibility" in the second story? In the first story, Jesus says, "Don't get mad at people." While being so hard to obey it's almost absurd, it's certainly understandable. We all know it's wrong, or at least no the best to treat someone badly in our anger. But who is the relational instigator in the second story? The one who is angry? No! The one with whom someone is angry!

This was a key piece for me. The first one makes sense because we're good at trying to clean up our own act. That makes sense. It at least seems doable, whether it actually is, or not. But the second set of circumstances requires that the one who has not necessarily done any wrong be the one to correct the situation.

So if you are about to place your gift on the altar and remember that someone is angry with you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to God.

Doesn't that sound like we're putting people before God? And perhaps petty, selfish people as well? (It doesn't say "admit that you were wrong" or anything like that. It just says go and make peace.) The paramount concern is not the "more spiritual" offering to God, but rather peace between brothers.

I told the boys that this is true for me as well. I love it when I see my kids getting along, having fun together. I love it even more when I see them making peace with each other (especially without my intervention). It brings me great joy to see peace, harmony, and genuine loving friendship between my children. And I'm sure (from this story Jesus told, and others) that the same is true of our Father.

When I noticed this relational priority, I sort of stepped back and looked at all three stories together. Sure enough, the thread through all three was that relationships are paramount. The first story says don't cloud relationships with angry words. Get over yourself. The second story, as I've mentioned, focuses on the "responsibility" of the "innocent" person to initiate and maintain a peaceful relationship.

The third story is perhaps a more practical application of how relational we are, and may have been played out a bit later in the day. (No, I was not taken to court...)

In the third scene, we have Jesus saying that if we were to find ourselves in court, the best course of action is to make friends with our accuser. On the surface, that makes no sense! Especially if we are innocent, but even if we are not. They're our accuser!!! These are not people we want to reach out to. But the practical side of this is, yes, we do. Jesus implies that if you do, you may avoid the consequences, they may not press charges.

A little relationality goes a long way...

Today I received an order from Amazon.com. They have Big Train Chai at the cheapest price around. When I run out, I usually order two packs of three bags of chai. (They only ship them in sets of three.) I get two because that qualifies it for free shipping as well. :-)

When I very excitedly brought in my package from the super cold porch, I noticed that some powdered chai was pouring out the corners of the box! "Oh no!" I thought perhaps a bag had inadvertently been cut open somehow. I was hopeful that most of them were still intact.

I gingerly cut into the tape at the top of the box, opening it very slowly, checking for any evidence of the cut bag. I brushed off the powder from all of the bags (it had gotten all over everything, even though it was only at most a couple tablespoons of chai) and finally found the culprit. One bag had a very small opening, right near the crease in the bottom. No big deal, but I figured I'd call Amazon and see if they could replace that bag for me.

I got on the phone with a lady who did not speak much English, but seemed very willing to help. I explained my situation calmly, and just asked, "Is there any way you could ship me out one replacement bag? Do you need me to package up and return the defective one?" After a few quick questions - and my friendly answers - she said, "Wait a few moments, and I will process a replacement for you."

I sat on hold for just a few moments, as she had requested, and sure enough, when she came back on the phone she gave me an order ID for the replacement chai! I was thrilled to be getting a little bit of bonus chai. (I really do love this stuff!)

Not long after hanging up the phone, I decided to check the order number at Amazon and see when it would be coming and exactly what they were shipping. What to my wondering eyes should appear, but THREE BAGS OF CHAI in my "recently placed orders"! Whoo-hooo!

Now, I don't know that this lady did anything out of the ordinary. It could be standard policy to just ship the full "package" that was defective. (They do ship as individual bags, so certainly they could have shipped just one.) And I do not know for sure her motivations. But I'd like to think this is a living example of what I saw Jesus saying today.

Relationship is paramount. I was not being taken to court, but I was approaching a situation that did not merit an overly generous response. You can say it is good business to make sure the customer is satisfied, but if I had laid into the first person who answered, demanding a replacement (and/or more?) do you think that the customer service rep's first thought would be to (happily) replace my item? Probably not. Probably there would be some resistance. I have tried the other way - justifiable anger - and I am here to say... it just don't work.

We are made for relationality. If we live it, if we practice it, life goes better.

1 Thessalonians 5:13b (NIV)
Live in peace with each other.

There may be things that seem more important. (Including looking out for ourselves, or doing stuff for God.) But it would seem from these three stories Jesus told to his disciples that the thing that should top the list is to live in healthy, unbroken relationship with each other. And, be the initiator of that. Not just the recipient.

Relationality starts with me.

Freedom

A couple times this weekend, the concept of freedom came up in conversation. It was in relation to the church, and life together as followers of Jesus. And really, it starts with life as an individual follower of Jesus.

When speaking with some friends who are equally saddened by the focus of the American church on numbers and programs and an institutional view of discipleship - and yet, who strangely feel the need to still be part of that social structure - we talked about freedom. One friend brought up the scripture where Jesus says he came to "set us free". He said that it really helped him break out of the "need" - the obligation - to be at a worship service on Sunday mornings. He realized that he was not free. And God helped him realize that through that Scripture.

I think that's true for a lot of people. And much beyond their attendance at weekly (or more frequent) worship gatherings. It does not mean that you are not free if you "go to church" on Sundays. It could, but it doesn't inherently mean that. Where we lack freedom is in really understanding that God does not want us to live life out of obligations to him, but in relationship to him.

I was reading a little book to my boys that paraphrases scripture verses, and one we read last week was taken from the verse in Micah that says, "...and this is what he requires: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." The last part caught my attention this time. What God "requires" is that we walk (humbly) with him. He wants us to just follow him. To be with him. Every day.

God doesn't want us to always do what's right just because it's right. He wants us to learn to be like him. To live in the freedom of not having to perform for him, to earn his love, or his favor - or to avoid the fires of Hell. What he wants is for us to love as we have been loved. (Love God, and love your neighbor.)

All of the above "requirements" were also written/said during a time when Jesus had not completed the restoration of our relationship with Father God! That's so great! While people were toiling under this idea that sacrifices and following rules would somehow "gain favor" with God, God was telling them, no... just be fair, just, merciful, and follow humbly in his steps. Pretty cool.

Yet today, even though Jesus has once and for all abolished the code of law that restricted and even enslaved us, we still live as slaves to sin and the law. We do not experience the freedom of his grace, and his full and complete love. We don't live as children but as slaves (as that linked passage above refers to). That permeates every bit of how we relate to our Father, and I'm learning more and more that it's not how he wants it to be.

He wants us to walk with him. He calls us friends. He has adopted us as his children, full heirs of everything he has. And he is not a Father who demands strict obedience at the end of a punishing hand, but the Father of the prodigal son who allows us to choose to follow him, to humbly receive his love and live in his freedom.

I'm not sure how we can really break out of the cycle of feeling the need to please him, or even the obligation to "get it right", but oh how I long for that in me, and in you. Shame is a powerful thing over us, and causes us to submit to God out of obligation and out of a perceived relational "debt". But there is no condemnation for those who are in Jesus. The Bible tells me so.

It also tells me this:

If the son has set you free, you are free indeed.

More Thoughts on The Church

In response to my post "Don't Go To Church?" I received one comment from a good friend via e-mail. He is a great guy, with a great Jesus-like heart for people, and a humble heart like not many I have seen. I am glad to call him my friend. We have very different backgrounds in our respective relationships with God, but the common bond is greater than the differences. I guess I think that's the greatness of the church. The church is not defined by a set of agreed upon customs and traditions. It's a group of people from "every tongue and tribe and nation" who are commonly united by the Creator who became one of us so we could become children - and friends - of God. (John 1, Romans 5.)

I responded to his email and thought it might be interesting reading for you as well... it's rather lengthy, but as a friend of ours says, I thought you might like to read over my shoulder...

(My friend's email is in the quoted sections. I did replace some specific details with more general stuff.)

I’m not surprised at all about your reasons for not going to church. I understand them based on what I’ve read, but I’ll offer some other things to think about since you asked for comments.

You used the word “show” a few times in your answer. It’s an interesting choice of words because in 30 years of going to Mass I have never once thought of it as a show. I asked my wife and she said the same. It could just be our perspective so I’ll have to check with other family and friends.

Yet, I know I’ve always had the “show” feeling in regard to any service I’ve witnessed at [the various churches/etc you've attended]. Obviously these are very different experiences than my norm and I’m not saying it wasn’t great and that I didn’t come away with something. (I have some of [those] sermons engrained in my memory). So I asked myself what the difference was.

Before you give your answer, let me say this... the "show" is actually even more of a show in some ways in more traditional services (Catholic, Episcopal, Orthodox, etc) because of all the formality and ceremony. BUT, the biggest difference (and perhaps the reason you have never considered it a "show") is the audience. Having worked behind the scenes on many Christian "shows", I know that at your typical "evangelical" (don't let [them] know I called them "evangelical"....) ;-) church "show", the aim is to include - as much as possible - the people who do not know Jesus. So, in effect - intentionally, yet unintentionally - the audience becomes the "seekers", rather than God, as the "entertainers" presume that it is. Did that make sense? Everyone I know who leads a "show" says that the audience is God, and they mean it, but from knowing the preparation, and what is actually going on, I would say that the audience is indeed the people in the seats, specifically those who are not "believers" (which means varying things to varying churches, but generally there is a consensus among the "show" leaders).

Please continue...

What was missing for me was the holiness, the “sanctity”, of the event…let’s call it. It didn’t feel any different than any other discussion or hanging out I did with the members of [that church]. Yes, I felt close to God when singing or praying to Him during the service, but again, I felt the same when singing or praying to Him on my own at home or with friends. It sounds like this might have been your experience as well. That would certainly make it easier to walk away from the church.

Quick clarification... I(we) did not "walk away from the church". We are still very much part of the church, and have regular "fellowship" with the church. We share life and we teach and are taught by the church. The problem is... the definitions of church can be different. To us the church is not an organization that stands on its own, it is the people who belong to Jesus. It's the corporate one-ness - the family - of everyone who follow Jesus. It has local manifestations in groups of two, three, fifteen or fifty - or even 5000 (though that becomes less "local") ... but it does not exist without the people who are the church. In a sense, the organizations/institutions that we call "churches" (with their staff and buildings and services) could exist without any people "attending". (Obviously not for long, as they are funded by the attendees, but... they could.) The church I am talking about does not have such defining boundaries. (Which is why, I think, Jesus said, "I will build my church and the gates of hell (hades) will not prevail against it." Hard to defeat something so amorphous.)

Our celebration of Mass is so much more than entertainment-worship. It is a sacrifice, a communion with our Father, atonement for sins, and rededication of our beliefs. Think of that last one for a second. Would church be any more meaningful to you and your family if you, in unison, with the rest of the body of Christ (the church) professed those beliefs every time you went to church? Yes, I’m talking about rote memorization of prayers and professions of faith. They strengthen and edify the group as a whole. Everyone benefits. And it hasn’t hindered my ability to pray out loud “freestyle” or communicate with God one on one. It’s just another tool in my “toolbox” regarding my relationship with God.

I really don't believe that personally this is something that I connect with, but actually I loved the insight into it that you provided. It does sound more meaningful as you describe it here. For some reason, I am not wired that way. Not just in my relationship with God... I don't like any sort of ceremony or ritual. We wrote our own wedding vows... and I almost didn't even want to have a wedding (and we did have a rather "strange" one...) For some reason to me that all feels fake. For me. Not for anyone else.

The group dynamic is an interesting one. I guess I have found that for me, a more strengthening group dynamic involves interaction with that group. I do beleive that Mass is more interactive in some ways than a "seeker" oriented service, but still, the "group" dynamic is not... interactive. Just everyone is doing/saying the same thing. (There is that "peace be with you, and also with you" thing...) :-)

I agree there is something to be said for finding God anywhere. I’m so thankful that I feel Him walking/communicating with me outside of church as well.

"...Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 6:7

Still, there is value in going someplace specifically set aside for worshiping God. Here’s an example…

When Jesus saw moneychangers in the temple. He didn't say "hey guys, its only a building, we can worship anywhere, lets go down the street to the community center." No, He chased them out. Scripture says, “His disciples remembered that it was written, 'Zeal for your house has consumed me.'" He had a passion for the Temple. He called it "my Father's House".

There's a whole lot I could bring to that argument, but I think it's safe to say that Jesus was not defending the place... but the people (that seemed to be his track record.) And, if indeed it was the place, when he died on the cross and the temple curtain that hid God from the people was torn in two - from the top to the bottom - that pretty symbolically ended the "place" to worship God. Jesus had said earlier in John 4 that "a day is coming when people with neither worship here nor jerusalem" and continued to talk about worshipping in spirit and truth. (Not quite sure what that cryptic language means, but context seems to point to the fact that Jesus was doing away with religion, and the separation between God and man.)

I know of course that Church is more than just a building, but wow, there are just so many distractions to our time, space, and energy these days, it’s refreshing to have a peaceful place to sit quietly among other Christians and reflect, pray, worship, and the like. If left to your own devices, is it possible to hack out enough quality time for yourselves and more importantly your children in regard to eaching/communicating/worshiping?…I know how our house is with two, never mind having four children. Yes, I understand the value of teaching and talking about Christ “on the fly” so to speak. Is that enough for them? What about some structured time? Do you put together a lesson for them every week like they would get if they were in Bible school? I’m a big proponent of balance in most aspects of life, and to me, only doing it one way doesn’t fit my “balance” quota.

While I do agree that there are many distractions, I think in life we have tried to eliminate those. We are not always running to the next thing. Sure there are days, but we have really tried to make our family, and friends, the priority in our life. So no, it doesn't feel too hectic.

And no, I don't prepare a lesson plan - maybe Jen does on occasion, for what we call "table time" as home schoolers - but do you really think a weekly lesson is helpful enough? (Not calling you out as much as that sounded...) What we are trying to live is a real life of following Jesus. That means almost everything we talk about includes God in the picture. That means when we see something that reminds us of a story we have read/heard ... we tell our kids the story. "Hey kids, that's like when God said...." I do read the Bible in the mornings with my boys generally, but that is such a small part of the bigger picture of the everyday, real relationship with God picture that they are getting from the rest of life.

So no, I do not believe that they are missing out in anyway. In fact, I'd say it's more balanced, as it is infused throughout their entire day/week/life, rather than compartmentalized to a weekly time and place.

How do you reconcile the tithing/giving without belonging to a church? I know, the opportunities to help others DO present themselves to you outside the church, but what about those brothers and sisters at the church that need your help? What about your responsibility to take care of “my Father’s House.”

Again... I am of the opinion that God does not reside in a "house built by men" any more (not sure if he ever really did, but he did pretend to for a while...) :-) But as for the brothers and sisters that need help, I go back to what I said earlier. We in no way left or pulled out of the "church". We do not attend weekend services, but we maintain relationships with people around us - and far away from us - who are members (with us) of the church. And actually, many of them attend various different (institutional) churches. Of all different stripes.

So, from all of those relationships, when there is a need and we can help, we do. :-) And, you are correct, the opportunities always do present themselves :-) (I like to think that is Jesus "building" his church...) :-)

Finally, ask yourself if the idea of going to church as a show has an impact on why you left. What is it about the show that wasn’t working for you? I find it very interesting that [three of my friends] have left the church to “go it alone”. I’m not at all surprised based on some of the things I’ve read of your disillusionment and the church in the past, but it’s interesting that 3 members of [the same church] that I grew up with came to the same places in their lives. There has to be some coincidence in that. Please note, it doesn’t make me think any less of you as humans or Christians or friends. It’s just interesting.

It is interesting... but it's not just one "church". It's everywhere. I do believe that we have met many people in many denominations, in many types of churches, who are wondering the same things. Who are discovering the same things. A relationship with the real and living God can not be contained in a worship service, or a building, or to certain times and places. And real community with the church (the people, not the institution) happens through sharing life and interacting more than it does attending a service where you sit in rows facing forward. (Isn't the best time "at church" always before, in between, or after services?)

It does make me want to invite you all to Catholic church however!

That was my favorite line of the whole e-mail. :-)

Honestly, we are not missing anything. In fact, relationship with God - and even with other believers - is better than ever. There are some awkward moments as the majority of believers still attend weekend worship services, and we do not - and different can be awkward... but on the whole, we are experiencing a more full, everyday reality of life lived with God than we ever have. I believe the same is true for our friends you mentioned, but you should ask them as of course, I can not speak for them.

[insert typical e-mail sign offs here...] :-)

Programmed Community

I came across a blog post that addressed some issues that have recently been in the forefront again for me. One paragraph that stood out to me said:

In the mega-church mindset, programs give opportunity for relationship to happen, but don’t assure that it can be found there. The relationships lives inside of programs. Once the program is over, the relationship is over. Once we no longer were involved in those programs there was no longer any reason to maintain the relationship.

We have also found this to be true personally, as well as anecdotally. I think this is one of the biggest shortcomings of the social organizations we call "churches". They create a false idea of relationship. Relationship is not just being in the same room as other people, or even just having shared experiences. Those are sort of by-products of a relationship. But a real friendship goes farther than that, doesn't it? Unfortunately, it doesn't usually. :-(

Click the link above to read the rest of the post. Good stuff. Feel free to comment there, or add your thoughts back here. The link will open in a different window. I want to say I wonder if you have experienced the same thing, but I guess I don't have to wonder. I am certain that you have.

And that's OK, but is it the best? Isn't there a better way than programmed community? To me it seems that there is.

Don't Go To Church?

I know I said I was trying to get away from ending titles with question marks, but perhaps it says something about where I am in life at the moment. Maybe as I begin the trek toward middle age (or, am I already there?) I am beginning to realize I have more questions than answers. Perhaps in truth, there really are fewer answers than we sometimes think there are.

This past week a couple things made me consider again why it is that we (the Campbells) "don't go to church." I have to put it in quotes because I just think that our phrasing leads us into bad thinking on the nature of the Church and corporate gatherings under the banner of "the church." In scripture, the church is the people who belong to Jesus. It's not a time, place, service, building, etc. It's a people. So, by default, you can't "go" to "church". But, for the sake of this post, I will use the phrase "go to church" to mean attend a Sunday morning "worship" service.

A friend asked "what's the deal with that?" regarding our not going to church, and as I was contemplating a response, I considered once again why don't we go to church? There's no harm in it - even if I think it's not right and pointless... it wouldn't kill us, would it? Couldn't we get something good out of it? You'd think. But as I remembered recent times of attending such gatherings, I felt myself squirm a bit even as I simply recalled the events, thoughts, and emotions of the day.

Then I asked myself, "Why? Why does it bother me so much?" The only response I could come up with was that I have grown beyond that. That seems so arrogant, even as I type it, but it also seems to completely fit my understanding of the relationship that I have with my Father.

Allow me to explain.

Both Jen and I have come to a place where we really don't like compartmentalizing life. We want to be who we are all the time. That applies to how we "educate" our children... there is not a specific time of "education", but rather an environment of learning as you live everyday life. We teach as we go. And we go as we teach. The kids learn as they do, and ask to learn more.

It seems to be much the same with our relationship with God. Previously, our "spiritual life" could be a bit more easily identified as any times we were doing "God things", like going to church, or other "church-related" activities, or reading our Bible, praying, singing, etc. Over the past couple years, we have tried to understand our relationship with Jesus as a very much more everyday thing. Everything we do involves him. There is no place we go to meet with him, since he is always with us. There is no time (necessarily) that is his, as he is always with us. All of life is accompanied by a friend whose level of intimacy with us can not be matched by any other person.

It just feels very odd then when we go to a place to "meet with" God... to "worship" him... and even at that place, there are times within the bigger time that we more "intentionally" meet with him. Add to that the bowing, and the standing, and even the slightly different language and tone of voice at times... all makes for a very strange experience.

I have learned to live every moment with God - the good and the bad - and have learned that his love penetrates all of that, and goes with me and before me. And it's not just me... he loves everyone he has ever made just as much. I believe that his love for us actually draws us together. He wants us all to do life together, and so, just like he "brought [Eve] to the man" in Genesis chapter two... he brings his people together still. We don't have to force it to happen.

The formality of our worship services - especially the way we address God, with whom I feel I have a very close, everyday relationship - just makes me feel very strange. It could certainly just be me. And I really don't mean to imply what it seems I implied above, that all who attend such things do not have quite as good a relationship with their Father as I do. Not at all. I am just saying that for me, that is one of the big reasons it's hard to attend those weekly (or more) gatherings.

And, I think I am pretty consistent in that area in that I really don't like formality of any kind. I much prefer to just be who I am, and that you be who you are. Ceremonies of almost any kind are definitely not my cup of tea. :-)

I'm not sure that I am right about this, and would love any feedback. Please don't be offended by what I have posted here. Your thoughts are welcome.

For now, though... that is (at least partly) why we "don't go to church."

Willow Creek Repents?

I saw a quick post by a friend today linking to an article about Willow Creek perhaps "repenting" of it's church/business model?

I don’t think it's that groundbreaking, as it seems WCCC is just going in a different "business" direction, but it's still pretty interesting to see them find that the super elaborate programs aren't all that helpful in people walking daily with Jesus. (Admittedly, I scanned the article quickly … will read again later, but I think that was a major part of it.)

"The Show" as I like to call it (not necessarily derisively) has been the main focus of the American church for so long… would be interesting to see such a key player in that take a different direction. (Again, I think they’ll just figure out another way to make a business model of life with Jesus, but… that's just me)

Here are a couple of articles I have posted here in the past that may be relevant:
The Important
Quantifiable

Have a Listen

I believe I have mentioned this here before, but with today's (latest) chapter/episode, I felt it was worth repeating. I am working on creating an audio version of my book, "There's The Steeple... Here's The Church", and have been publishing a chapter at a time via a podcast available at gregshead.net/church as well as iTunes.

Today's chapter is called "Quantifiable". It was fun to re-think the stuff I put in that chapter. God's ways are so not ours... we tend to focus on visible, tangible - quantifiable - results, but that is not how his Kingdom works. He can take 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish and feed over 5000 people and end up with 12 baskets of leftovers. Numbers are pretty much irrelevant in his Kingdom.

So, each chapter/episode is about nine or ten minutes long (including the intro/outro) and it's a cool, different way to re-think some of the stuff you've read here (long ago), and just stuff that - at least to me - seems relevant to everyday life with Jesus.

Just thought I'd remind you. Have a listen if you'd like. :-)

Friends, and Friends of Friends

As I was working on restoring our trailer yesterday (more about that later...) I was listening to a few podcasts, including the latest God Journey. The episode title was the same as the title of this post. Wayne Jacobsen was telling the story of his recent trip to Ireland to gather with around 100 people from all over the world, just to be together. It wasn't a conference with any sort of program or agenda, just a gathering of friends.

While he was there he said he realized that the Body of Christ is not about what we do together really, "the Body of Christ is friends, and friends of friends". He saw that as people from all over the world were connecting that week through other connections. "Hi [friend]! I'd like to introduce you to [my other friend]." And once the introduction had taken place, Jesus' body was grown and strengthened as they shared stories of what God has done and is doing in them.

There was not one sermon, not one time where everyone sat and listened to one person. There was only one song they all sang together. There were times when they were all together, but the focus was on each other, not any one thing they were doing. In a gathering of 100 people, there might have been 50 conversations. And again, none of this was planned or scheduled... they just let it happen. And it did.

So, it sounded like a cool week where part of the body of Christ was enjoying life as (perhaps) it's meant to be. It was encouraging to hear how God had brought all of those people together, one relationship at a time, over 30 years or so.

Toward the end of the podcast, as Wayne was reflecting on that week and some other recent events in his life, he said this:

"The fact that they've been 30 years related to each other says a whole lot about the fact that they didn't have an organization to carry together, because if they would have had an organization to carry together, they likely wouldn't still be in fellowship all of them with each other.

That's what our [personal] track record is like. ... If we hadn't had this machine among us, and the fight for who could control it, who was willing to fight to control it, we'd probably still be great friends today. Actually, the power of the institution got between us. There was something to fight over, something to own, something to have."

And I think those words instantly made me stop what I was doing, and make a mental note to go back and write them down. I know I have probably said something like that here before, but it is so true, and was evidenced at a party we were at this weekend.

My brother-in-law was being celebrated by his church for 25 years of service there. Twenty-five years is a LOT of years! He has also been married that long as of this coming October. So we were twice celebrating his oldness! :-) It was fun.

Part of the celebration was a slideshow of various moments over the past 25 years. It was nice to relive the memories, and to see old faces. (Some are not with us any more.) But as the slideshow went along, I noticed two things. First, one of the main memories was building a new building. I certainly remember how much effort we put into doing that. (That's when I was on staff with that group as well.) It certainly was a major event in the timeline of that group's existence. But it dominated a good portion of the slideshow, when I wished we could see more photos of people...

Second, and most disheartening, was once we got back to people, over and over all I could see were people who had been somehow hurt by others in the church, and had left hurt, disgraced, or disgruntled. I actually hope that I was the only one who noticed that. But I really did. So many faces of people who were somehow either hurt enough to leave, or else had no other option but to leave. Good people who were prime time players in the goings on of this organization.

Then I heard the words Wayne said regarding his observation of that group of believers in Ireland. They have no organization to protect. All they have is their shared life together. There's no building, no programs, no schedule, no "Purpose"... just 30 years of living life together with Jesus in common. I couldn't help but connect that thought with what I had seen and felt during that slideshow.

I know that people move on, and relationships (maybe even mostly) are "for a season". But I don't believe they have to end with hurt. Unfortunately, the specific organization I am talking about (as evidenced by what Wayne said) is not alone in its track record of disagreements leading to fractured fellowship. I am convinced that if we didn't have a "Thing" to protect, or to run, or to serve... we would enjoy being together that much more. The "Thing" (Wayne called it a "machine") definitely gets in between us. It can bring us together, but quite often, in the end, it gets in between us.

Living life outside of that Thing is interesting. It's certainly freeing, and we have never known God so personally and completely involved in everything we do more than we do now. It's also a bit frustrating relationally as many times we are not able to spend time with the friends we have made over the years because they are otherwise scheduled with events, gatherings, or meetings related to their particular Thing. Busyness is probably more an American problem than a problem with the Thing, but it is certainly evidenced there as well. But we are in America, so we have certainly seen that busyness limiting our time to just enjoy relationship with our friends who are Christians.

I don't really have a neat summary point to all of this. Just sharing some observations from the weekend. I really think it's true that we could really experience what the body of Christ is so much more if we weren't trying to do these "Things". I certainly have the limited perspective of just being me, and my 33 years or so on the planet. But from where I am now, and what I have seen... life is about people and relationships, not about what we do.

Seems that's quite well applied to the church, too.

Audiobook Update

Installment #2 was just posted over at the There's The Steeple... Here's The Church podcast. It is available through iTunes, so that might be the best way to follow along if you'd like. There's a link to subscribe under "feeds" in the right-hand column on that site.

This week's chapter (chapter one) is called, "Redefining Church". I probably won't advertise too much more on this blog, so hop on over and bookmark, or subscribe, or whatever you need to do if you're interested. :-)

There's The Steeple... Here's The Church - AUDIOBOOK!

I finally have posted the first chapter of the audio version of the book I published last year, There's The Steeple... Here's The Church! I may have mentioned this here before, but if I did not, I'm sure I explain it on the page I just linked you to. The plan is to record and release each chapter as a podcast, and encourage discussion and perhaps just encourage people to live in the greatness that is life with God and his Church.

If you haven't heard of my book, published last July, you can purchase it through my bookstore (click the links at the top of this site) or you can even download a free PDF of the book there as well.

I am in the process of adding the podcast to iTunes, and hope to be able to get ahead on the recordings so that I can post a chapter at least weekly. Perhaps ambitious, but we'll see.

Thankfully, I don't need much sleep! :-)

If you know anyone who is wanting more than sitting in the pew on Sundays, or going through the motions of "church life"... perhaps God is calling them to a life that is infused with more of him? We have found that to be true, and I hope that this, another version of the text collected over the past couple years, will be an encouragement to people to follow Him in that.

So check it out, and please do spread the word. I'll have the iTunes link up as soon as they send me the link!

gregshead.net/church

(I think you can drag that link to your browser bar (in Safari, at least) and it will automatically generate a bookmark!)

Duplication

Last night as I cleaned up after a little family birthday party for my mother-in-law, I was listening to a podcast. The regular hosts were having a chat with a guy from Australia who has been through a few crazy cycles with the institution of the church. I believe once he was "let go" from his job as a pastor... which served as a wake-up call that "the church" (meaning, the system... the programmed institution) as it was had some pretty major flaws. So, he and his family avoided such a setting for something like nine years?

After all that time, a little Baptist church asked him to be their pastor. The church was very traditional, very Baptist, and he of course said, "No thanks!" But God said, take it. So they did. And slowly over the next few years they, along with that whole group of believers, worked themselves out of that system until nothing was left of that group. They are all still in contact, but all felt that God was leading them to something different... perhaps more free that what they had before.

As I listened, I started to think, "Man! Maybe that's what we should do! Could we do that??? Would I have the patience to go through helping a group of people de-structurize? But it sounds so cool! What a great story! I should try to do something like that...."

Within 5 seconds after I thought all of that, I realized how silly I was. :-)

What is this unquenchable drive to duplicate? Why is it that when we hear a story of some good thing that God did through another believer, it makes us think, "Ooo! I should do that too!" I realized that I was really just trying to do what the church has done with every current manifestation of itself (at least in this culture)... I was trying to DUPLICATE.

They spoke about this a bit later in the podcast I think. Or maybe that was just me, my thoughts, and God having a little chat in my head? For some reason we can't help but try to capture again a moment, or a season, or whatever where we saw God do something incredible. It must somehow be able to be duplicated, right??

Not necessarily.

Yes, God seemed to have led them to take that pastorate... and yes, in my eyes, it turned out pretty great. But so far, God is not leading me to do that... so if I were to do that, it would most likely be (in some way) a big flop. I would be trying to copy - in my own effort - something that God had done somewhere else, but was not asking me to do. THERE'S the point. God leads, we follow. It's not the other way around.

So, I'm not sure I can say that God is behind "Mega churches", but I am saying that we probably shouldn't be trying to copy every little thing they do. God wants to lead each of us, and even groups of us as the church wherever we are. He is our Shepherd, and we get to follow him ... daily. So, if today he asks me to do something, and it works fantastically, is very "fruitful", or whatever... tomorrow it's not my job to go out and do it again. It's my job to get up, listen to what he is asking me to do, and do that. It might be the same thing for another day, week.... maybe a year or two. OR, it might be something totally different. And that might be even harder! Who wants to leave something that's going so well? (Just ask Brett Favre!)

I really don't think formulas, systems, programs, methods, etc are helpful in the kingdom of God. From what I see in the Bible, and in the life of Jesus... he was not about that. He responded to each individual, and each situation, and each leading of God. Perhaps that's what we could do too. Listen to where he wants ME to go, and just follow.

I don't need to be making copies anymore.

More From The Starfish and The Spider

I mentioned earlier that I would be sharing some quotes from the book I have been reading. The Starfish and the Spider is about two different ways to approach organzing people. One way is to have a structured organization with centralized leadership, like a spider whose functions are all tied into its head. When the head is destroyed, so is the spider. The other option presented is the decentralized organization, where every member is a leader - much like the starfish, who when any part is severed not only continues to exist, but the severed part can even become a new starfish!

In giving examples of recent virtual “starfish” like Skype, Craigslist, file-sharing software called eMule, Apache web server software and Wikipedia, the recurring theme is that when the users or members of an organization are not only allowed to almost required to contribute (in order for it to continue its existence), the organization - along with its members - thrives.

As I read story after story in the book of members taking on various responsibilities to the group and just to individuals within the group I couldn’t help but think of my occasional posts about life in a “Star Trek world”. (The book referenced a strange gathering in the Nevada desert called Burning Man where there is a policy of a “gift economy”. Each person may contribute any goods or services, but may not sell. Nor buy. Everything is done/offered for the good of the community.) Jen is convinced this can not work, but, at least the way it was presented in “Starfish”, it already isworking.

The strength of Skype is that it has very low costs, using its users computers to store directory information for other users, for example. The strength of CraigsList is that the focus is on the people. What the users want is what CraigsList does. Each user contributes, and there is a sense of trust and community that has been built and makes the site what it is. Similarly, Wikipedia was first begun as Nupedia - an online encyclopedia written by experts, but free to the public. It found its success when instead of traditional editors and contributors, it opened up the content creation and management to the users. Instead of 24 articles generated somewhere around a year’s time, Wikipedia users have contributed well over a million articles to the English section alone in its five years of existence. And the articles are “suprisingly accurate” says the “Starfish” author.

The other interesting thing about Wikipedia is that, although every user has an equal ability to add to, edit, or even delete content, there is virtually no vandalism. There are even self-appointed Wikipedia “custodians” who go around either cleaning up code to make a page look better, or catching any juvenile vandalism that mars otherwise excellently presented articles.

”Wikipedia proves that people are basically good.”

I can’t find the source again (sorry!) but that quote stood out to me. The problem that my wife has with decentralized organizations is that she basically doesn’t trust people. She would probably say the opposite. That people are basically bad, and Jesus helps them change... a bit. :-) And I know I tend toward the positive, but how can you argue with a site that has articles in 200 languages, and over a million articles in English alone with so little vandalism - though it’s so easy to do? And generally, it’s “policed” by the users.
Concluding a story from the Burning Man festival - where 30,000 people congregate in a dry lake bed in the middle of Nowhere, Nevada, the authors say:

But that demonstrated something important - open systems can’t rely on a police force. On the one hand, there’s freedom to do what you want, on the other hand, there’s added responsibility: because there are no police walking around maintaining law and order, everyone becomes a guardian of sorts. You become responsible for your own welfare and that of those around you. In open systems, the concept of “neighbor” takes on more meaning than just the person next door.

I loved this. Just loved it. This is what I want the church to be. Without a doubt. When he mentioned police, I immediately thought of the pastor, or the elders, or whoever is “responsible” for the people’s “well-being”. That level of responsiblity and oversight is not only unfair and restrictive to members, but really equally so to the leaders/pastors.

And it’s just not as good. It might be better in a way for “controlling”, but in my mind, the system where everyone is equally responsible for themselves and for others works better for everyone. And is a much more inclusive, participatory, open system. Which is what I believe the church to be. We have one head. Beyond that, we are all equal. (No slave nor free, male nor female, etc. The lines are gone.)

I think overall the coolest thing about open systems to me is that they are entrusted to each member. No one is trying to “steer the ship”. The “steering” is done together, or just not done at all. Members are free to contribute equally, and really, without their contributions to each other... the group does not exist.

I love the ideas we can learn here for the church. To live together as a family, a unit, an organization where there is no central office, no heirarchy of leadership, no CEO... everyone contributes and receives equally. Everyone is responsible for everyone else. Obviously that does not apply to a group of 10,000 people. In fact the book said it seems like somewhere around 14 people is the max for a decentralized group to function best. Beyond that you begin to have too much anonymity. I love that idea too, and am trying currently to live that. We have a small circle of people with whom we do life the most, and that is who we learn from and share with and perhaps that is our “church”.

God can always change that. And it seems he does. There are seasons when the people in that circle of 14 or so change. Where we are part of a “different church”. But it does seem that there is generally a small group of folks whom we share life with Jesus with.

It’s certainly not perfect. And I feel like we’re still actually looking for that. But perhaps we have more than I sometimes think we have. :-)

I do encourage you to get the book if you get a chance. I would love to talk some more about it, but I have already taken enough of my family’s time here on vacation. :-) The kids have all awoken from their naps... time to start dinner!

If you have any thoughts on these quotes, or open systems in general, post a comment or two below!

Open Systems

I read a bunch more of The Starfish and the Spider on vacation, and it has so reinforced my love for open systems. The book details a bunch of successful up-start businesses and organizations that rely on a decentralized, “user-driven” organizational structure to function. And it’s just fantastic! I have mentioned before that I lean toward “Libertarian” politcally/idealogically. This certainly fits that. Open systems thrive on trust of each individual member. Trust promotes equal ownership and equal participation, and each member contributes to the advancement of the organization. Fascinating stuff.

Check and see if your local library has this book. It’s been worth the read for me. I would recommend it. (Though I was told to only read the first half, as in the second half they pretty much negate what they learned in the first half of the book... and they start trying to make a centralized system of a decentralized, open system. Ha! We’re so funny...) :-)

I will post some quotes from the book here in a bit... there are some great applications to The Church, to be sure. I think the church thrives as a decentralized, open system. But too often we lock it up in a controlled, centralized system... and take all the life out of it. Or at least hinder it.

So... I will post quotes when we get back from vacation!

(PS... I posted this on my laptop from the indoor pool at our resort! Awesome!) :-)

Missionaries

One more quick thought for the day...

I love the idea of missions. There are so many people in the world (of course, including our own towns and our country) that do now know the reality of the Kingdom. They don't know that God takes great pleasure in knowing us, and in restoring our relationship with Him. They don't know the joy of living loved and complete freed of shame and guilt by that love. So, it's good to tell them.

But recently I have been thinking of "Missions" again, and "Missionaries" and there is a big disconnect, once we have met the folks we are trying to help. And I think it might be, what are we "winning" them to? What is the end goal of our missional efforts?

I really don't want to open up a huge debate here... though if you have any thoughts, you're welcome to share them. I just think the biggest thing we are missing as the church today is that life with God, life in his Kingdom, is not about what we do or don't do (though that may be evidence of the kingdom) but it's an understanding of the reality of a Father who loves us, and wants to lead us, and walk with us through every part of life. We don't meet him at the church building. He doesn't just come around when we're participating in "spiritual events". He does not reside at the "temple". He's with us. In person. All the time.

So when we go out, and we tell people about Jesus... what usually happens (I believe) looks a lot like what we do here in America. We meet (usually) on Sundays, and one person leads a lesson (or sermon) from the Bible, and there's music, maybe communion (which is eating a piece of "bread" and drinking some "juice") and it might even involve everyone being dressed up a bit more than usual. Then there are other meetings throughout the week. Whether one on one or in bigger groups... all focused on some teaching/discipling time. That's a good thing. But it's not the kingdom.

Missionaries are awesome. I hope they keep going to all parts of the world and loving people. The only thing I see falling short is that we're just "converting" them to the same systems that are not working here in America. Systems will fail. Relationships will also, but genuine friendships are less likely to. Love God, and love people. Don't tell them where they need to spend most of their time now... help them know the greatness of being loved unconditionally by their Father. Help them know the joy in loving other people as they have been loved. Can't that be it?

I wish it could. But I'm probably just a dreamer.

Well, the good thing is... no matter what other folks do... I get to choose what I will do.

Starfish & The Spider

I mentioned not long ago the extensive list of books I am currently reading. One of those was the book you see to the right. I've been focusing on that one lately, and it's amazing how much what this fellow is saying about the business world (really, so far it's just an observation of various historical events, including those in the business world) so closely mirrors what the church can (or should?) be.

The chapter I am currently reading is explaining the difference between a spider and a starfish. The spider is as we would expect it. A central head, that controls everything. If you lop off a leg or two, the spider will survive, but if you destroy the head, nothing else will survive. The starfish is different. Any part can survive on its own. "If you cut a starfish in half..." says the author, "you'll have two starfish to deal with." The starfish can "regenerate" from any part of its body since there is no central brain or other center of operations. The creature is a sort of neural network.

Instead of having a head, like a spider, the starfish functions as a decentralized network... The starfish doesn't have a brain. There is no central command. Biologists are still scratching their heads over how the creature operates..."

Indeed, at first glance, that seems chaotic, but somehow in God's design, this creature works just fine as a decentralized unit.

The first case study was all of the peer to peer music/file sharing businesses. The more decentralized they got, the better they "worked" and the harder they were to kill. Record companies could shut down Napster because everything was in one place under one business name. But as it continues to decentralize, it's harder to stop... can thrive without a "head".

And last night, I was reading about the found of Alcoholics Anonymous. Pretty neat how it started out. The guy who started it (an alcoholic) was at the very end of his rope, and figured the only folks who could help him were the people in the same boat as him. So he created a structure that had no leaders, or heirarchy. Just people helping people.

The organization functions just like a starfish. You automatically become part of the leadership-an arm of the starfish, if you will-the moment you join...

Because there is no one in charge, everyone is responsible for keeping themselves—and everyone else—on track. ... You have a sponsor, but the sponsor doesn't lead by coercion; that person leads by example. And if you mess up and relapse or stop attending for a while, you're always welcome to come back.

(emphasis mine)

That seems so close to what I see being the best model of life as the church. The living body of Christ. We are all equal parts of the greater whole—Christ's body. I'm not sure how his being the "Head" fits that picture, when thinking of starfish, but as the rest of his body... it's right on. Everyone is responsible for themselves, and cares for each other. Because they are all "in it together".

After AA took off and became a huge success, the author says:

Bill (the founder) had a crucial decision to make. He could go with the spider option and control what the chapters could and couldn't do. Under this scenario, he'd have to manage the brand and train applicants in the AA methodology. Or, he could go with the starfish approach and get out of the way. He chose the latter. He let go.

He trusted each chapter to do what it thought was right. And so today, whether you're in Ancorage, Alaska or Santiago, Chile you can find an AA meeting. And if you feel like it, you can start your own. Members have always been able to directly help each other without asking permission or getting approval from Bill W. or anyone else. This quality enables open systems to quickly adapt and respond.

(emphasis mine)

Christianity could certainly learn from this model. Instead of fighting to protect and preserve, a more open system would encourage the body of Christ to be "known by our love for one another". Not our big buildings, flashy presentations, big events, wonderfully entertaining programs, etc, etc, etc. And, the body of Christ could function so much better if our only direction came from The Head (not the pretend "heads" we have set up). Rather than chaos, wouldn't it be much more perfect, and more quick to respond.

See, Jesus is a weird head. The starfish can regenerate and fix itself because the head is located everywhere. The brain is in every cell of the body (I guess?). Isn't that kind of like Jesus. He's not in a fixed location, in the Home Office at 1 Golden Street Drive. He's here, with me right now, as much as he is with you. ("I will be with you always...") So, he can quickly help me know that I need to go over and see my neighbor... and I might find out that she needs help with something... or maybe she's just feeling down. Or maybe even, she has some good news she needs to share with someone? As the head of a body that has no heirarchichal leadership, he can quickly move and "regenerate" his body as he needs to. No waiting for staff or deacons meetings. :-)

I'm enjoying the book. I'm sure I'll post more here later. Just wanted to share a couple of quotes that stood out to me last night.

I Guess I'm Emergent?

Not too sure about the results here, but saw this on Chris' blog and thought I'd take a crack at it. Last time I was Seventh Day Adventist, which was awesome. :-)

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this. Emergent/Postmodern 71% Neo orthodox 68% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 57% Charismatic/Pentecostal 50% Fundamentalist 39% Classical Liberal 36% Reformed Evangelical 32% Modern Liberal 21% Roman Catholic 14% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

More Than Jesus

"If it's about something less than him, we can fragment on anything."

Last night I was listening to a podcast we listen to regularly, and this week's episode just resonated with me more than I can say. The show covers all sorts of things... it's just a weekly conversation between two guys trying to live life with God outside of any boxes we can create. This week, I believe the topic was picked from when one of the guys made a trip back to his Christian college alma mater. Many of the people there were living life with Jesus completely differently from how he currently is, or would ever want to - and still there was unity. There was commonness. There was togetherness.

The guys got talking about how if we just share Jesus, we can live together in harmony. When we make it about anything less (they meant that obviously anything in the universe is "less" than Jesus, so if we make our bond, or our unity about anything other than Jesus) then we will inevitably fragment. We'll argue about music style, or carpet color, or what we call ourselves, or any number of silly things. We'll even argue about what we call "truth". But truth is a Person. Not a list of doctrines. So even THAT can get in the way of our unity - of us being a family.

I could not agree more.

Probably more than 10 years ago now, I had just begun working for a tiny "church" here in upstate NY and, being the idealist that I (still) am, I would engage the current "senior pastor" and my fellow fledgling "minister" in long discussions about the nature of what we were trying to accomplish as the Church of Christ at Victor. And when I would boil it all down, I came to the conclusion that nothing that we currently did together - none of the very helpful programs, or even the weekly worship services - were essential to us being the Church. We simple are the Church. Nothing really can change that, unless we choose to leave the Church.

And I don't mean to put our behinds somewhere else on a Sunday morning.

God's plan from before creation was to adopt us into his family, as his children. That is what he offers to us. Anyone who accepts his offer is now part of his family - which is The Church. His Body, of which he is the head. His body is not just some small group of people meeting across the street from another small group of people calling themselves his body also... it's the whole of both of those groups, plus the other three groups meeting just up the street. We in America (not always, but quite often) base our "fellowship" or our connection with believers on the extra name we bear. Not that of an adopted member of God's family... but that of our local congregation. In many ways, being a member of "First Church of the Resurrection" is more important to us than being a son or daughter of God!

Or at least, that's the way it would appear.

One of the podcast guys told a great story about one of his instructors (I believe that's who it was) at his college, who has since been a life-long friend. He had a falling out with the school when he left, and the bitterness continued in him for a time after that. His friend was taking communion one day and as he was holding the bread, looking at it, he saw through the bread - like a door - and on the other side was Jesus, standing there with his arm around one of the people from the school who had hurt him the most. His reaction was, "No, Jesus! You can't do that! He's the one who hurt me!" And Jesus' response was, "I'm not going to stop being this guy's friend to be your friend."

How cool is that? Jesus does not take sides (he shows no favorites). He loves us all the same, even when we don't or can't. It doesn't matter how we "do church" or where we "go to church" or anything EXTRA. All that matters is that we are his brothers, that we are all adopted sons and daughters of the same Father.

We don't have to pretend... we just are. I know, brothers don't always get along. Just yesterday, Alex came out from the other room to where I was and told me that Ian wasn't his brother anymore. After stifling a little laugh, I asked, "Well what do you mean?" He told me the "horrible" thing Ian did, and said, "So he's not my brother anymore." I smiled at him, and hugged him and said, "You know, that's never going to change. No matter what either of you do, you'll always be brothers. That's just the way it is. So what you have to do now is go back in there and figure out a way to work together." (I wish the story had a better ending, but I think what he did was go in and demand a little louder what it was he wanted from his brother. :-) We're still working on that....)

But isn't that the point? We are brothers, and sisters in Christ. We are his family. Not multiple families bearing different names who are distant cousins. We are his family. Brother and sister. When we put anything else in the way of our common bond - Jesus - then we begin living like we are not. Even though that will never change. We will always be brothers.

I thought it was an excellent podcast, and I intend to ask some folks close to me to check it out. How I long for the unity Jesus spoke of in the book of John. We are meant to be united, but too often we make life as a believer to be "more than Jesus"... and it just gets is in a big mess.

It really is true... the more we focus on him, the more he holds all things together (that's the name of the show...) So, today and this coming week... that's what I will try to do. I want to focus on him in my relationship with other people, and we'll see what happens. :-)