A-Social, or Hyper-Social?

I have been spending a lot of time using Facebook of late.

Whether just playing word games with friends, or making use of their live, instant message chat feature, or just keeping in touch with friends however possible - I've been there.

I am a people person (as I have said before) and so it would make sense to find me at a "people" site. But is connecting with people on Facebook really a social activity?

We were talking with our friends about social networking sites, and how in a strange way they are almost a-social. It's almost a way to keep from seeing people, and really interacting with them. By leaving a message here or there, or even using the real-time chat, some may consider that they are enjoying a relationship with another human being, and in a way they may be, but in reality, they are staying home and spending time on the computer instead of being with people.

My take on that was that I use Facebook to stay in touch with people I couldn't otherwise, and to just add to the other communication I have with friends who are local. It's another way to communicate.

What I noticed recently was that my time is spent very differently these days. I don't do a lot of things I used to do. I was talking with Jen about that... what has changed? And the only thing I could figure was Facebook. I've been using it a lot, and that corresponds with the time I have not been doing other fun stuff I used to do. And that's been fantastic. I have totally enjoyed keeping in touch with people I wouldn't otherwise have been able to talk to.

And that's what I think Facebook does for me. It actually is too social. :-) Maybe instead of a-social, Facebook is really hyper-social? You see, maybe we were only meant to relate to the people we could actually visit with in a given day? But now with electronic means of connecting - and Facebook makes that even easier! - I can have daily conversations with many folks I have met along the way in life.

That can fill up your time!

So, we're feeling a bit busy lately, and maybe that is why. We're hyper-social! Well, at least I am.

I may try a week or so without Facebook soon, and see what happens to my time. Could be an interesting experience.

But then, would that be a-social, or even anti-social? Would definitely be some sorta "social". :-)

Don't I Know You From Somewhere?

I was noticing something quite strange last night...

At the boys baseball games last night, we met some friends of our friends last night, and that got me to thinking. They are friends with several of our good friends (we regularly hear their names in conversation), and so we were talking with them about how we all knew each other. Some kinda fun/random circumstances brought everyone together. Very cool. I'm certain that God was wisely directing all of that. (Or at least, none of it surprised him) :-)

When we started thinking about it, I noticed that most (maybe all?) of the people we spend time with (not just "know") are not people we met through any "institutional church" structure. That actually really shocked me.

One of the things that I do occasionally wonder about with us not attending weekend services anywhere is just how that keeps us "off the radar". Even though I find public gatherings quite lacking for any real connecting with people... it is at least a place to see them, and be seen. And I have always also had this (apparently false) notion that most of the people we hang out with we met through "going to church" together.

I guess I was wrong.

Does that mean that we just hang out with the bottom feeding scum who "claim" to follow Jesus but won't give up a couple measly hours on a Sunday morning to be with other believers? Perhaps. :-) But, I don't think so. A lot of the people we spend time with - speaking of believers - are part of weekend services and more in that setting. Now, definitely several of our friends are in the same place we are with all of that, but I would definitely say not the majority.

Could it possibly mean that such structures do not build the best, most lasting relationships? Could it just be that we did a poor job of doing that? Maybe both? Maybe something else? I really don't have the answer.

I know that our friends who just moved to Maryland definitely have some great, close, deep friendships with people whom they met via their "church". And certainly that can happen. I found it completely fascinating that it is not true for us. Most of the Christians we spend time with we met through various other settings and endeavors. So crazy!

There's really no point to this, other than to share that interesting observation, and to just throw that question out there to you. Could this show that good friendships with other believers not only can happen outside of the institutional church structure, but perhaps even be better? (Better doesn't really fit here as relationships are not really quantifiable, as that qualifier would suggest. I just mean, deeper, more lasting, going beyond conversations simply when you're in the same place.)

If you have any thoughts, please do post your comments.

Unique

For some reason I am often reminded that God made me unique. I'm a bit differenter than your average Joe. I mean, first off, my name's not even Joe. So, I'm different already.

But, as I'm sure I've mentioned here before, a friend of mine used to call me the "Curve Wrecker" because I was never what I was "supposed" to be.

And, another proof that I am different is that I'm totally OK with that. :-)

Tonight as I was driving I noticed three boys playing together, hanging out, and I noticed that they all had the same hair. The longish, curly, sort of unkempt hair that all of their other friends have too. It's an epidemic!

But that made me think, why are we so afraid to be unique? What is this compulsion to be like everyone else? I really have never understood it. I just am who I am. Maybe that's different from you, or maybe it's different from all of you... but it's just who I am. Why would I try to change that just so I wouldn't be different?

Talking with Jen about this later we remembered that young kids can be brutal when someone is different. Usually a difference from the group is made fun of right away - and often. Uniqueness is not tolerated. And yeah, that does make sense why you wouldn't want to be different. Who likes to be made fun of?

But I guess that's where love comes in. Where you're loved for who you are. Loved by parents, by God, by siblings, grandparents, even friends. It starts with our adoptive Father, who loves us completely, and shows us what love is... but it's modeled by other people who genuinely love us. Maybe I had that more (from my parents and family) when I was growing up? I definitely know it now, and God continues to show me more and more just how much he really loves me ... and you :-)

So if you're feeling weird tonight, or too different from everyone else... consider that a good thing. There's no one else who is like you. You are one of a kind, and you're that way because God made you that way. I'm pretty sure I can say that. But I am sure that I can say he loves you completely that way. And that's the most important thing... and what makes it OK to be unique.

So enjoy your uniqueness just like I have learned to, you weirdo! :-)

The Chapmans

I learned today that earlier this week, singer/songwriter Steven Curtis Chapman's 5-year-old adopted daughter was killed in an accident in the family's driveway.

Somehow, God has made us similar. I am a fan of his music - and something inexplicably deeper than that. There are similarities in my songwriting to his. Also a "big fan" of their family, and the way they are not only adopting, but helping lots of families do the same. We have not adopted - yet - but apparently share a similar love for big families.

And as a dad of little girls... how sad this family must be right now. How sad. We know that we only grieve temporarily when we know Jesus (to know him is eternal life...) but still... how they must hurt.

They set up a page with a little family video they made just a few weeks before she was killed. As well as a place to leave comments. Here's the link:

http://chapmanchannel.typepad.com/inmemoryofmaria/

[Things That Are Weird] Phone Walkers

I tend to walk around and do stuff while I'm on the phone. Sometimes it's even just aimless walking, but usually I am just multi-tasking. Do you? I was meeting with a new client yesterday, and he did the same thing. He just took off and started pacing his house as soon as he answered the phone. He was a pretty good phone walker!

The cutest though is Kirsten and Julia. Whenever they chat with their grandparents, they are usually hold the phone to their ear and walking around our entire first floor. Julia usually just starts walking in a very tight little circle! So cute!!

But... since this is a Things That Are Weird...

Why DO we feel the need to start walkin' when we're chattin' on the phone?

What Ever Happened To Steve?

We have kids. Lots of 'em. And they all like Blue's Clues. As do we. We even don't mind Joe, who replaced the un-replaceable Steve a couple years back now. Steve is definitely the best.

Well, not really sure why, but this morning I decided to Google "what happened to blues clues steve". Turned out to be quite a funny/interesting webventure.

Turns out that Steve just decided after episode 100 of Blue's Clues, that it just wasn't what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. He's a musician at heart, apparently, and decided to pursue that. He released an indie record in 2002 I think? And is currently working on a new one (though the dates on his website seem to be pretty old... so not sure about that.)

I just found it fascinating to see "Steve" rockin' out in a music video (his own song) on a Steve Burns fan site.



Life moves on I guess. Good for Steve. Funny story from his "Press" page on his website:

One Spring afternoon in 1999, Steve Burns was on his way to a date. He was driving through New Jersey, fighting jitters, primping in the rearview, when something on the side of the road caught his eye; a mailbox with blue cartoon paw prints on it and a message that read YOU JUST FIGURED OUT JONATHAN'S BIRTHDAY! While most rock singers would have shrugged off such fleeting details, Burns recognized them as symbols revered by millions of Americans - Americans under four feet tall and on a first name basis with Steve Burns.

"It was obviously a Blue's Clues party," says Burns, who was, in fact, the host of Blue's Clues, one of the most popular children's programs in television history. He glanced at the toys and props left in his car after a recent charity performance. The khaki pants. The iconic green-and-olive striped rugby shirt.

"I gotta do it," he said.

He met his date, changed clothes, and drove back to the party. "We just showed up with the toys and knocked on the door," says Burns, a slight 30-year-old sipping a latte in and airy Brooklyn cafe. "I was like 'Hey!' " His narrow face and big, dark eyes bloom into the fully dilated character beloved worldwide. " 'Who's Jonathan?' The kids were, like, 'Cool! Steve's here!' " So Burns loped around, clowned with the youngsters, dispensed toys, and refused cash from the bewildered dad. It was a magic little moment - a kindhearted breach in the space-time continuum - and we sit silent for a second, contemplating it.

It would be strange being a rockstar to 3-year-olds everywhere... :-)

For you Steve fans out there... here are some pertinent links I stumbled across today:
www.steveswebpage.com
www.steveburnsrocks.us
Steve Burns - Wikipedia
Steve Burns (Band) MySpace Page

Thoughts on Barack Obama

I don't tend to wax political here... mostly because, while fascinated, I think it just gets pretty silly pretty quickly. It's been an interesting presidential race, though, with two democratic candidates firing shots at each other, and the republican candidate not seeming to have much (real) support from his party. Don't forget the perpetual third-party candidate, Ralph Nader. He's in the mix, too. Sorta.

Well, while Hillary is making up stories about dodging bullets, Barack Obama is both drawing praise and criticism for his views on race in America.

I said before what I think about "race". It should be a non-issue. We are all one race, we just have a few different features, and many different cultures. But we're all human. End of story. But with various comments from Obama about his "typical white person" grandma, and recently about how "bitter" people cling to religion and guns, as well as the racial comments by the preacher from his church... race is clearly an issue with senator Obama.

I read an opinion piece recently from a local radio talkshow guy because the title caught my attention. "Barack Is Not A Unifier". I read it, and I don't think the writer is a supporter of Obama, but the article didn't come across as a slam, more just a "wake up and smell the coffee" about this guy. It is strange how he is seen as a unifier when he has been quite extreme in his voting record, and the stuff I hear from him only unifies the people who think the same as he does.

I'm not supporting any particular presidential candidate here, nor trying to tear down any in particular. But I do think the national media (or maybe just his own campaign folk) have done a good job of painting Barack Obama in a very rosy light. I definitely shy away from labels, but if you had to pigeonhole me, you'd probably call me a Libertarian. I think that might be 180 degrees opposite of what Obama thinks regarding goverment and it's role in society.

Will be an interesting year. If the rockstar wins the election, Obama will be our next president. (And I will be very thankful for checks and balances at that point.) I still think Hillary cheated somehow when she won the elections up here in NY. I have never met one Hillary supporter up here in our area. (Though I have seen a few bumper stickers...) :-) So... don't count her out. And McCain... has been strangely silent. He'll win if the other two divide the voters enough, or even just make them mad enough to "vote for the other guy".

So, that's all the politicalness from GregsHead for now. Maybe more in November...

Amazing Story of a Blind Boy

Thanks to my dad for passing this along. Pretty incredible what this boy has been able to learn and do - without his eyes.

Still?

I can't really believe that this still comes up, but I've been talking with a friend who is in the market for a new computer, and though there are several people close to them who insist they would love a Mac, is still convinced that he can get "the same" computer for less. Folks... this is just not true. Perhaps a little less... but usually the opposite is true. I wrote about this here TWO YEARS ago, and Apple has gotten heaps better in those two years.

I was trying to figure out why I can't just let it go sometimes. I think it's just my personality. I need stuff to be true. (Though, not in everything... but I guess the stuff I care about.) If someone just doesn't want a Mac, that's OK (too bad, but OK) ;-) But if they say they don't want it because they can get the same computer for less... that's just not true. I think it all works out pretty evenly in the end, except with a Mac you get no viruses, spyware, everything just works "out of the box" (all included in the computer) and you get the Mac OS, which is fantastic. (Not to mention their superior customer support.)

I'm really not trying to be a salesman... and I TOTALLY understand the need to spend less on a lesser product simply due to lack of funds. TOTALLY. But I just wanted to say again, Macs are not ridiculously overpriced. You get what you pay for, and we think, with Mac, you get even more than what you pay for.

If you're at all interested, or even if you think you know that you're NOT interested... check out this section of Apple's website. apple.com/getamac. Not only are all the cute/funny ads there, read the 10 reasons (and more) "Why You'll Love a Mac." Great list. Explained well.

Everyone gets to choose and use what they'd like, but we, the Campbells, can't say enough how great Macs are, and how much you'll love 'em if you try 'em.

(This blog post brought to you by an Apple fan and user for over 13 years now. No money was received for this endorsement.) :-)

Old

I made a quick trip to our grocery story tonight (the local IGA is about 1 mile from our house) to get some baking cocoa for some chocolate icing I was making for the chocolate cup cakes I had already made for my pregnant wife. :-) I really didn't want to go - too much other stuff to do before the kids' bedtime - but Jen really needed those cupcakes, and she really needed them to be chocolate.

So I went.

It was actually kind of peaceful. It had been a (mostly) day off full of kids, and I think that little bit of peacefulness was kind of enjoyable. :-) I found what I needed, and since what I needed was strewn across the store, I found a couple other good deals as well. It was a relaxing - yet fairly short - stroll through the market.

I was standing in the check out line when I saw a young guy - late teens, early twenties - come running up to his friends, although it was more like "bounding" than running. He came to a stop with one final leap. I smiled at his youthful energy.

Almost simultaneously, I chuckled at how old I must be. I had none of that vigor this night. I just felt very tired and worn out from the day. I was happy to just be standing there. "Am I that old??" I thought. Then just smiled, realizing that I probably am. :-)

I took solace in the fact that I do at times still have almost that much energy. I would say it has dwindled a tad (not to mention that I am definitely out of shape as well) but there are still many moments that I feel that level of energy.

But not tonight. And for some reason, it was just a humorous glimpse at how I am definitely no longer in my early twenties.

And you know... that's actually a really good thing. It's kinda nice being old. What will be really funny is when Jen & I have watched our kids grow up, and maybe even our grandkids, and as we're standing in line at the grocery store... maybe only able to walk very slowly... we'll see some youthful character bounding down the aisles, and we'll just laugh.

Maybe you are only as old as you feel. (Or is it, you feel as old as you are?) :-)

UBA

I saw a pretty cool thing on the Red Robin website today. We love their food, and celebrate all of our birthdays there, but now I will also be visiting their website.

It's called UnBridled Acts (of kindness), and just features stories of their employees going way above and beyond their normal duties. I read two, and there was a neat one about a Red Robin employee just paying for the coffee for the car behind him, which started a crazy chain reaction that ended up coming back to that same guy...

Check it out. Always cool to see selflessness in action. Wish that was more the norm than an "amazing story".

(But then, it wouldn't make for as cool a web page...) :-)

Relationality

This morning the boys and I continued our trek through the book of Matthew, with a tiny chunk from chapter five. I was just going to reference it, but I thought perhaps you might like to read the whole bit together for the context of what we saw in it today.

Matthew 5:21-25 (CEV)
You know that our ancestors were told, "Do not murder" and "A murderer must be brought to trial." But I promise you that if you are angry with someone, you will have to stand trial. If you call someone a fool, you will be taken to court. And if you say that someone is worthless, you will be in danger of the fires of hell.

So if you are about to place your gift on the altar and remember that someone is angry with you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to God.

Before you are dragged into court, make friends with the person who has accused you of doing wrong. If you don't, you will be handed over to the judge and then to the officer who will put you in jail.

Did you see it? What stood out to you about those three situations? I asked my boys, "What was the most important thing in all of those stories?"

At first they said excitedly, "Don't be mad!" I said, "That's part of it..." hoping they would continue. They did. And actually, not too many thoughts later, they hit on what I was probing for.

"Relationship," said Ian. (At that point I knew that he has been listening to me before this morning.) :-) "That's right! In each of these stories, the relationship was the most important!"

You and I have read that story, perhaps mainly that verse, many times over. Anger is the same as murder. Don't call your brother a "fool"... or else! Don't bring any offerings before you fix your argument with your brother. But in the bigger picture–the context–I saw that a common theme ran through all of the stories.

But before I get to that, did you notice who bears the relational "responsibility" in the second story? In the first story, Jesus says, "Don't get mad at people." While being so hard to obey it's almost absurd, it's certainly understandable. We all know it's wrong, or at least no the best to treat someone badly in our anger. But who is the relational instigator in the second story? The one who is angry? No! The one with whom someone is angry!

This was a key piece for me. The first one makes sense because we're good at trying to clean up our own act. That makes sense. It at least seems doable, whether it actually is, or not. But the second set of circumstances requires that the one who has not necessarily done any wrong be the one to correct the situation.

So if you are about to place your gift on the altar and remember that someone is angry with you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to God.

Doesn't that sound like we're putting people before God? And perhaps petty, selfish people as well? (It doesn't say "admit that you were wrong" or anything like that. It just says go and make peace.) The paramount concern is not the "more spiritual" offering to God, but rather peace between brothers.

I told the boys that this is true for me as well. I love it when I see my kids getting along, having fun together. I love it even more when I see them making peace with each other (especially without my intervention). It brings me great joy to see peace, harmony, and genuine loving friendship between my children. And I'm sure (from this story Jesus told, and others) that the same is true of our Father.

When I noticed this relational priority, I sort of stepped back and looked at all three stories together. Sure enough, the thread through all three was that relationships are paramount. The first story says don't cloud relationships with angry words. Get over yourself. The second story, as I've mentioned, focuses on the "responsibility" of the "innocent" person to initiate and maintain a peaceful relationship.

The third story is perhaps a more practical application of how relational we are, and may have been played out a bit later in the day. (No, I was not taken to court...)

In the third scene, we have Jesus saying that if we were to find ourselves in court, the best course of action is to make friends with our accuser. On the surface, that makes no sense! Especially if we are innocent, but even if we are not. They're our accuser!!! These are not people we want to reach out to. But the practical side of this is, yes, we do. Jesus implies that if you do, you may avoid the consequences, they may not press charges.

A little relationality goes a long way...

Today I received an order from Amazon.com. They have Big Train Chai at the cheapest price around. When I run out, I usually order two packs of three bags of chai. (They only ship them in sets of three.) I get two because that qualifies it for free shipping as well. :-)

When I very excitedly brought in my package from the super cold porch, I noticed that some powdered chai was pouring out the corners of the box! "Oh no!" I thought perhaps a bag had inadvertently been cut open somehow. I was hopeful that most of them were still intact.

I gingerly cut into the tape at the top of the box, opening it very slowly, checking for any evidence of the cut bag. I brushed off the powder from all of the bags (it had gotten all over everything, even though it was only at most a couple tablespoons of chai) and finally found the culprit. One bag had a very small opening, right near the crease in the bottom. No big deal, but I figured I'd call Amazon and see if they could replace that bag for me.

I got on the phone with a lady who did not speak much English, but seemed very willing to help. I explained my situation calmly, and just asked, "Is there any way you could ship me out one replacement bag? Do you need me to package up and return the defective one?" After a few quick questions - and my friendly answers - she said, "Wait a few moments, and I will process a replacement for you."

I sat on hold for just a few moments, as she had requested, and sure enough, when she came back on the phone she gave me an order ID for the replacement chai! I was thrilled to be getting a little bit of bonus chai. (I really do love this stuff!)

Not long after hanging up the phone, I decided to check the order number at Amazon and see when it would be coming and exactly what they were shipping. What to my wondering eyes should appear, but THREE BAGS OF CHAI in my "recently placed orders"! Whoo-hooo!

Now, I don't know that this lady did anything out of the ordinary. It could be standard policy to just ship the full "package" that was defective. (They do ship as individual bags, so certainly they could have shipped just one.) And I do not know for sure her motivations. But I'd like to think this is a living example of what I saw Jesus saying today.

Relationship is paramount. I was not being taken to court, but I was approaching a situation that did not merit an overly generous response. You can say it is good business to make sure the customer is satisfied, but if I had laid into the first person who answered, demanding a replacement (and/or more?) do you think that the customer service rep's first thought would be to (happily) replace my item? Probably not. Probably there would be some resistance. I have tried the other way - justifiable anger - and I am here to say... it just don't work.

We are made for relationality. If we live it, if we practice it, life goes better.

1 Thessalonians 5:13b (NIV)
Live in peace with each other.

There may be things that seem more important. (Including looking out for ourselves, or doing stuff for God.) But it would seem from these three stories Jesus told to his disciples that the thing that should top the list is to live in healthy, unbroken relationship with each other. And, be the initiator of that. Not just the recipient.

Relationality starts with me.

Programmed Community

I came across a blog post that addressed some issues that have recently been in the forefront again for me. One paragraph that stood out to me said:

In the mega-church mindset, programs give opportunity for relationship to happen, but don’t assure that it can be found there. The relationships lives inside of programs. Once the program is over, the relationship is over. Once we no longer were involved in those programs there was no longer any reason to maintain the relationship.

We have also found this to be true personally, as well as anecdotally. I think this is one of the biggest shortcomings of the social organizations we call "churches". They create a false idea of relationship. Relationship is not just being in the same room as other people, or even just having shared experiences. Those are sort of by-products of a relationship. But a real friendship goes farther than that, doesn't it? Unfortunately, it doesn't usually. :-(

Click the link above to read the rest of the post. Good stuff. Feel free to comment there, or add your thoughts back here. The link will open in a different window. I want to say I wonder if you have experienced the same thing, but I guess I don't have to wonder. I am certain that you have.

And that's OK, but is it the best? Isn't there a better way than programmed community? To me it seems that there is.

Coverings

I came across a blog post today that was pretty interesting, and I thought I'd pass it along. Jen and I talked about it a bit tonight on our way home from the evening's activities... it's just interesting how we put stuff between us and God. It could be a person (pastor, accountability partner), or a group of people (elders, leaders), or ... well, lots of stuff.

As the blog post says, the cross removed shame, and removed the need for a "covering". You may not be familiar with that terminology, but basically it's the idea that you need help living your life out with God. You need to be "accountable" to other believers. While there may be truth there, it's the wrong approach. It puts something between you and God. This blog post/email has an interesting take on that.

Another Reason to Not Divorce

I've written here before how much divorce pains me. Well, apparently it pains the planet as well. Interesting...

A Lunch Meeting, And The Bills Won

We headed out the door at 12:45pm, knowing that Character's Sports Bar was not too far from where we were staying. I had seen on the map where we needed to go, and was confident we could find it.

That confidence was misplaced.

When we got to where I thought we needed to turn, the road that was supposed to be there was not!. I improvised, and ended up in a maze of one-way city streets, going in circles. Argh. It wasn't really a problem, except that we did not want to be late for kickoff.

Well, we finally found the place, and in time for kickoff, but then found out that the parking spaces out front were 24-minute parking spaces. Off we went to find a parking garage two blocks away. Double argh.

That's when we met him.

As we were walking out of the garage, in a bit of a hurry to get back to the Bills game that was now two blocks away, we passed a man sitting on the cement planter next to us. When we passed he said, "Can you guys help me out? I'm kinda hungry. I just need some food." I was intrigued by the request (he didn't ask for money, that I remember) and so I said, very spontaneously, "Well, we're headed up to a sports bar right now?" As I said it, I sorta invited him by gesturing.

To my surprise, he got up, and sort of gestured back, making sure I meant it, and I did. So, he followed us up to the restaurant.

We got to know Darren as we went. First names, then where he was from, and how he got to Monterey, CA. We sat down at a table and continued to talk. We don't have a lot of money, but we had saved some up for a little splurging for our 10th anniversary trip—and we got to share some with a homeless man named Darren.

He has a sad story of lots of broken family relationships. He has slight learning disabilities, and told us a crazy story about waiting for five years for social security benefits or something. Not sure the details, really, but I could tell what we have that he doesn't are the generous and loving family relationships, as well as close friends.

He stayed for the meal, and then thanked us again and took off. Not exactly how we had planned to spend lunch watching the Bills, but we were glad we could share.

The rest of the afternoon was a bit quieter (except for a rowdy table behind us) with only the occasional outburst from me and/or Jen when the Bills did something good. (It wasn't that often, so it really was kind of quiet.) :-)

The Bills did win, so that was awesome! JP Losman got into the game due to an injury to Trent Edwards. That should make for some crazy off-the-field drama this week. That's pretty annoying, but, that's just how it is.

We came back to our place and listened to the Bills post-game interviews, and got to talk with our kids (about the Bills game and more!) and then headed out for the rest of the afternoon/evening at the Fisherman's Wharf back in Monterey.

You never know what's going to happen when you head out the door. Today, we got to see the Bills win (as we hoped) and we also got to share a meal with Darren.

Very cool.

Steve Jobs Sighting!

Holy cow! What amazing timing!!!

We took the short trip over to Cupertino while waiting for the Apple Store in San Jose to open tonight for the big Leopard party (where we plan to get two free t-shirts!) We weren't sure what we would find, but we had no idea we'd get so lucky :-)

As we finally pulled into Infinite Loop, I noticed a guy in jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt. I said to Jen, "Who's that Steve Jobs guy??" I was just joking, until as we got closer I noticed - IT WAS STEVE JOBS!!! :-)

As we got to the main cross walk, Steve Jobs and Jonathan Ives were crossing, heading to their cars to go home! HA! Right in front of our car!! Hilarious.

Jen did not have the camera ready, so we didn't get a good close up, but we turned around and managed to get a quick shot of him getting into his car. I'll post here later. :-)

For now, battery is almost dead... we're gonna wait in line and get some t-shirts!! Whooohoooo!! :-)

Southwest Alphabet

Well, we made the next leg of the trip, but it feels like barely! We got to Chicago just after 9:15 maybe, local time, and had to get the flight to San Jose, CA at 9:55 local time. Seems like plenty of time right? Jen took a needed pregnancy bathroomo trip, and we headed through the airport to Gate B1 (all the way to the other end of the concourse!) only to find tthat the lines were already completely full!

This is my first time flying Southwest, and overall I would just give it an “average” rating.

Here’s why the lines matter. When you buy a ticket, you are not buying a seat. You get put into one of three groups. A, B, and C. Theoretically, the first people to arrive, get boarding passes in group A, then B, then C. That is also how they board the plane. Since it’s every man (or woman) for himself, you take what you get as far as seating.

We lucked out on the first flight, finding the last pair of seats together. Not so on this flight. Only middle seats left. Not to worry, I told Jen. I trusted in the goodness of humanity. Someone will move to the middle so that the pregnant lady can sit with her husband....

Not so. :-)

So, Jen is in the row behind me. I am squeezed between two guys... and it’s a four hour flight.

I don’t think we’re going to fly Southwest again. I want to buy seats, not try to “get lucky”.

So, we’ll see what the flight holds. I’m sad for Jen. She’ll have to try to get out to go to the bathroom a time or two! :-) We’ll see if we can work the system on the way back so we don’t have to do this on the return flight!

More to come....

(The Great) Chris Farley and Paul McCartney

Was just remembering this Saturday Night sketch today, and found it (of course) on YouTube. Classic, CLASSIC video. Was laughing as loud as I have ever laughed I think when I saw it again. :-)

Enjoy!

Take Back Your Shopping Cart!

The other night we had finished shopping at Wal*Mart and after unloading all of our groceries into the van, I looked for the place to return my cart. It was pretty far away, but I wanted to make sure I put it back in the right place. There was another one right next to our van, so I put my cart in that one and pushed both to the cart return corral.

As I was doing all that, I was just perplexed as to why it's almost my first inclination to think about other people, and how my actions (or inactions?) will affect them, and how it seems that I am in the minority. There were carts all over the parking lot, in parking spaces, up on curbs, and just generally in chaos. Yes, I know they pay people to put them back, but isn't it fairly easy to return it to the collecting place? That way it's out of the way of where people drive and walk. Seemed so simple to me...

And don't forget that we had just spent almost two hours at Wal*Mart with our four tiny kids, late in the evening (was nearly 10pm when we were done) and had to still do bedtime (and put all those groceries away) when we got home! We had plenty of "excuses" to not put the cart(s) back.

I was reminded of a parenting class we have taken and led many times over the years. One of the core things they teach is a "rational preoccupation with others around you". The goal being to teach your kids to think about others, not just themselves. But in order to do that, it starts with you. And, a simple example they give is the shopping cart one. By simply taking less than a minute of your life to return your cart, you are thinking about the people who come behind or after you. You aren't doing it just because it is "right", but because you are thinking about the "preciousness of others" (a common phrase from the course) and loving other people like you do yourself. (Or, treating other people the way you want to be treated.)

(Yes, I thought all of this in the 30 seconds that it took me to take the cart back and return to the van.) :-)

I think what struck me the most is just how easy the task is, and how natural it is for me... and how uncommon it seemed to be that night. Why is it so difficult for us to think about each other? I see it in my kids. I feel like it's all I say, and yet, they are still quite selfish. I am constantly reminding them to think about how they would want to be treated. For the moment, they get it, but a moment later, they are back to looking out for their own interests rather than those of their closest sibling.

Why is this so hard for us to get?

I don't have the answer, but I do know for a fact that the world would be a better place if we would somehow get it, and start thinking about the people around us—treating them like we want to be treated.

And take our carts back. :-)

(NOTE: If you read the previous post, you might think, isn't this a bit of double-talk? Wasn't one of the examples of misunderstood Christian-ness taking back a shopping cart?? Yes. But I think if you read both, you'll see the constant in the equation: love for other people.)

Be a Christian!!

My brother-in-law is in town, and so the days are filled with funny little sayings. He's the master of calling people (mostly) benign little names. Slightly poking fun at all those around him. It's hilarious!

My favorite from this trip has been calling out the religious affiliation of those around him. :-) He will proclaim someone a Christian (or not) based on whatever they choose to do—or not do—in a given situation. For instance, my sister chose to not eat the squid that their neighbors brought over as a gift, and as he retold the story to our kids he said something like, "Aunt Tara wouldn't eat it, but I was a Christian and ate the squid."

As far as I know, eating squid does not come into play when determining one's religious affiliation. But it does get a good laugh!

Now, the weird part is, we know what he's talking about. We know that to be a Christian means sacrificing yourself for other people. It means doing the right thing, even if you don't want to. Being a Christian means that you consider others better than yourselves. Being a Christian means you act like Jesus. Right?

Well, here's where I read too much into my brother-in-law's jovial remarks. ;-)

I know he does not intend any deep meaning to be conveyed by the remarks, and I am certain (as we had a conversation regarding this) that he does not think that doing the right stuff—and not the wrong stuff—makes you a Christian. But the fact that he said, and that we knew it... reveals a deep underlying misunderstanding of what it means to be a follower of Jesus.

Most people do think that Christianity is a set of moral principles to live by. Jesus said a bunch of stuff that we should do or not do, and he even gave us an example of what to do by the life he lived here, recorded in the Gospels. But if we stopped there, at just the things Jesus did, or the things he "commanded" us to do... then we miss the whole point.

I love the way a friend interprets the story of the man who came to Jesus, asking "what must I do to be saved?" The man is described as rich and powerful. Jesus first tells him, keep the law. (Which we know from other parts of Scripture is not what we "must do to be saved".) The man says arrogantly, "I have! I've done all that!" He obviously has been trying hard to do all the right stuff, but was still not convinced he was "good enough", which is a major failing of religion: you can never be "good enough".

So Jesus says, "OK, well, then sell everything you have and give the money to the poor and come follow me. That'll do it!" But as you'll recall, there is not one other place in Scripture where Jesus (or anyone else) says we must sell everything we own and give the proceeds to the poor to be saved. I've always thought that what Jesus saw in this man was his love for material wealth, and was calling him to sacrifice that for the Kingdom. That's the "Christian" thing to do, right? Well, how many of you "Christians" reading this have done that? Everything? Yeah. Right.

What my friend sees in the story is not Jesus adding more rules for us all (or even just this man) to follow in order to "be a Christian", he sees a man who thinks he can earn his way to heaven, and so Jesus sets the bar even higher, with the hope that he will someday see the futility of his efforts and let God be the one to make him whole. "OK, you (think you) have done all that... well, now you have to do this." It is the futility of religion. It will never be enough.

But some people define Christianity—including their own—as how you act. Do you choose to sacrifice your own desires or wants for those of the other people around you? Do you stop and help a stranded motorist on the highway? Do you give some change (or a meal) to a beggar on the streets? Do you make a donation at your local grocery store at the checkout line? Do you help your friends move when they have no one to help them? Do you make a concerted effort to visit people who are alone? Do you not throw away food, because of the starving kids in India?? Do you take your shopping cart back??? :-)

The list could go on and on, and unfortunately for many Christians, it never ends. They are not as much compelled by love—as Paul said, "Christ's love compels us"—but by a drive to do the right thing. To maintain their status as a "Christian" by doing what is expected of them as a Christian. That's so sad.

See, it is true that all of those things are good things. Those are all things that Jesus might do. And, if you think of being a Christian as being "Christ like", well, then that seems like a good thing. But I think the heart of the matter is the heart. If a person is doing all of those things, but only to retain the sense of spiritual status as a "Christian" (or even just feeling that they "have to" because it's the "right thing to do") I think they are missing out on the core of what the Kingdom of God is all about.

When Jesus was asked, point blank, what is the most important commandment, he replied, "Love God, and love people. Everything in the law and prophets is summed up by that." (My paraphrase.) Jesus didn't say, "You know that 'No other Gods before me' one... yeah, that's the most important." And he didn't say, "They're ALL important, mister! Why do you think I said them????" He said, "Everything you've heard me say to do or not do can be accomplished by simply loving God, and loving the people around you as much as you love yourself. Drop the selfish ambition, and really care about other people the same way you would watch out for yourself. Then you'll be keeping the law". (Again, my paraphrase.)

If we do the right thing, but do not have love... we're missing the whole point. (Today is paraphrase day!)

Christianity is about rules. Being a follower of Jesus—a child of God, a member of his Kingdom—is not. It's about loving God, and loving people. When you do that, you are by default keeping the "rules", but with a focus on people, on the relational aspect. When you keep the rules to keep the rules (because it's the "right thing to do") it's almost more about you than about the people who benefit from you keeping the rule. You are doing it to maintain your "righteousness" rather than for the benefit of the person you are "doing the right thing" for. You know?

The heart of the matter is the heart. You can't always tell a Christian by what they do. That can be faked. But the Bible says you can tell us by how we love each other. And that can't be faked. At least, not for very long.

So, while my bro-in-law, Josh, will continue to proclaim people's religious convictions based on how they handle various situations, rest assured... it's just all in good fun. :-)

Interesting Articles: Space, The Web & Miracles

I found a couple articles that interested me in my news feed this morning...

One Small Step Toward a Mars Landing ... at Sea
Reid Stowe is a "professional adventurer" (what exactly is that?) who is 100 days into a 1000 day stay on a small boat in the middle of the South Atlantic Ocean. His goal is to help NASA prepare for what it will be like to have a very small group of people on a small vessel for close to three years. Interesting research project. He also has a website aptly named 1000 Days At Sea.


How Mark Zuckerberg Turned Facebook Into the Web's Hottest Platform
With my recent delve into the world of Facebook (finding and reconnecting with friends whom I have not had any contact with for over 20 years!) I noticed this headline, and found the article quite interesting. I had heard earlier that Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, had refused a $1 Billion purchase offer, but did not know the rest. Including the estimate that Facebook is now worth at least $5 Billion. Good job, Mark.

'Minor Miracle' For Everett
This is the best article, at least regarding the substance of its content. As you likely know, Buffalo Bills TE Kevin Everett suffered a life-threatening spinal injury on Sunday during the Bills/Broncos game. We were there. It was awful. Even worse was the report from the doctor who performed surgery the next day. (Watch Monday's press conference at BuffaloBills.com.) But last night, reports began surfacing that Everett was able to move his arms and legs, and doctors are actually optimistic that he will walk out of the hospital. That's just insane!

If it's true.

I would suggest guarded excitement as I am having trouble corroborating this story. There are no updates on BuffaloBills.com, which is extremely suspicious. I'll keep digging, but the linked article above does seem quite hopeful, and credits a few trustworthy sources. We shall see. From what I heard on Monday, even Kevin's survival is a "minor miracle".

More Kevin Everett Links:

• Send Kevin a Message of Support
  
• Shocked, Soaked, and Sad (from BuffaloBillsReview.com)
  
• Week One Overview: Some Highs, Too Many Lows (from BuffaloBillsReview.com)

Jesus Said

... we should be like children.
I think about that phrase quite often, since there are many children around me at any given moment. What part of being a child does Jesus want for us? Does he want us to be disrespectful, selfish, whiny, impatient, messy, crazies with little to no self-control? Uh... I guess... maybe? Probably not. But the innocent, trusting, fun-loving, joyful qualities of a child are easy to understand as qualities of the Kingdom. These are things that, though they might seem a bit unorthodox for the Kingdom ruled by the Creator himself, would seem appropriate.

The other day, my three-year-old daughter was shouting from the top of the stairs, "I neeeed hellllllp... Will somebody pleeeeeeease helllllllp meeee????" She had obediently gone up to the bathroom, done what she needed to do, and now she needed some assistance from an adult - again, obeying her Mom who had previously told her to wait for Mom's assistance after she goes "number two". My first thought was, "Man! That is so annoying!" But quickly, I was reminded of Jesus saying that we needed to be like little children. Could this be one of the ways?

I still maintain that Jesus was NOT talking about whining when he said that.

What I saw was a little girl who needed help, and wasn't afraid to ask for it. Most adults I know are not good at asking for help, maybe they are just plain awful at it. We're taught to be "adults" and take care of stuff on our own. But maybe a way we can be like a child - a way we can see the Kingdom of God - is to realize we need help, and to ask for it. Not necessarily from other people, but definitely from God. Our Father can, and wants to help us. One way we can know the greatness of the Kingdom is to let him help us, allow him to work in us, instead of trying to be an "adult" and get it done ourselves.

A cool lesson from my whiny three-year-old... who may know a bit more about the Kingdom that I have forgotten over my passage into adulthood.

... you will be persecuted because of me ...
Tonight we watched a debate on the existence of God. A friend had sent me the link earlier in the day, and tonight I was intrigued enough to watch it through with Jen. The debate was mostly silly... neither side was really listening to the other. They were to a degree, but neither was going to convince the other of their points, or sway their beliefs in any way. Some of it was sarcastic and mean-spirited... a little annoying actually. :-) I don't think I'm a big fan of debates.

But the thing that I noticed was actually part of the lead-up to the debate. The footage they chose to show to introduce the Christian guys (Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron of The Way of the Master) was of them sharing "the gospel" in the streets, and the hostile reactions of some unbelievers. While that may be common footage, and perhaps an expected response (at least by Christians) ... I was immediately reminded of where Jesus said that his followers would be persecuted because of him.

"Exactly!" misters Comfort and Cameron might say. However, as I recall from Scripture, the people who hated Jesus - who wanted to hurt and/or kill him - were the religious leaders of the day. The leaders of the religious establishment. They were the upstanding, moral, "religious right". We think the people who will persecute Christians, who will hate us because of our message, are the hardened sinners who reject God with passionate fervor. But every example I can think of in the Bible of "sinners" is almost completely the opposite. Those "hardened sinners" flocked to Jesus. It was the self-righteous, cleaned-up, religious folk who persecuted Jesus and his followers.

Just a couple things to think about from what Jesus said.

Hiroshima: August 6th, 1945

After recently watching those two movies about the battle for Iwo Jima, I found it intriguing when I discovered that today is the anniversary of the day the US dropped the first atomic bomb on the city of Hiroshima, Japan. I clicked on the link in my "This Day In History" widget, and read about this day 62 years ago. I listened to President Truman's speech following the decision to drop the bomb. I watched some videos from the history channel online. Again, I was fascinated.

What most blew my mind was the position of Harry Truman. How do you actually ever feel you have the authority to make such a decision? How did he actually pull the trigger? I read one article that reminded me that the America of the 1940s was not the same one as today. In many ways that's really sad. But perhaps in the way of viewing people of various ethnic backgrounds as equals... we are certainly better off today than we were then. So some have suggested it was easier because they were just "Japs".

I should hope not, but certainly a possible explanation.

Because really, how do you decide to do that? The logic given in his post-dropping speech was that the Japanese would fight to the death. Killing up to "half a million" US soldiers. Dropping the bomb saved lives. While I agree that this is true, I do side with critics who believe that estimate is ridiculously high.

When he gave the order to drop the bomb, I'm sure it was not taken lightly. I'm sure agonizing thought went into it. And, it had been a long war. It was time for it to be over, and this weapon could pretty hastily ensure that it would be.

But at what cost?

I am not sure I could ever make such a decision. In retrospect, you're glad it ended the war, but as is everything surround a war, it's just so sad and ugly.

I borrowed a couple books from the library tonight on Hiroshima. One is just named Hiroshima by John Hershey. Supposed to have some eye witness accounts. Was written as the rubble was still smoldering. The second is a series of two books, The Memoirs of Harry Truman. That, too should prove interesting, as the hardest thing about Aug 6th 1945 for me to grasp is what actually was going on in Truman's mind? How do you make that call??

I'll likely share some thoughts from the books soon... just thought I'd post this on the day we dropped the bomb.

Happy 62nd anniversary of the first atomic bomb! (Now there's something to celebrate!) ;-)

Facebook

I finally decided to take the plunge and actually use a Facebook account I set up not long ago. I have heard its coolness praised over and over on the various tech podcasts I listen to, so I finally decided to try it out. Pretty neat so far. Have reconnected with one friend from high school (it's been 15 years!) and then several other folks I haven't heard from in a while. I put their little badge in the sidebar, so you can click over to my public page, and if I know you... add me to your friend list and I'll add you to mine.

Picky Eater

We were invited to join some friends tonight for a little campfire in their back yard, complete with S'mores! I know Steve from playing basketball together for a few years now, but we've not gotten to spend much time together with the rest of the families.

Somehow the conversation migrated to my time in Venezuela. They asked if I was fluent in Spanish, and I said that I wouldn't say fluent, but I do alright. "What I am 'fluent' in is making the Venezuelan national dish!" I explained the whole Pabellon meal with it's various parts: rice, beans, shredded meat, and arepas. Steve's wife said, "That all sounds great. I wouldn't eat any of it, but it sounds great." We all laughed, and Jen said, "Well, at least the rice, right?" To which she replied, "No. Don't eat rice. Never had it."

NEVER HAD RICE? I was simply dumbfounded. I asked, "You've never had any white rice... ever?" Never.

I asked her if she knew that she might be the only human being on the planet to have never eaten rice. It's the main food most of us eat around the globe. Rice and beans. EVERYWHERE!

This is the most amazing food fact I have heard a person utter recently. Just simply the most amazing.

What's not to like about rice? How can a mom of three children have lived her entire life without ever having eaten ANY RICE??!?!?!??!?!

Wow.

I asked her if I could post this story on my blog tonight, and she gave permission. She's rather proud of her picky-ness I think. She says there are only about 5 things she eats. Hamburgers, hot dogs... french fries. Her husband chimed in, "And, pretty much any breakfast food..." So, McDonald's and Pancakes... nice! :-) I said to her, "How are you still ALIVE??!?" :-)

I am just still amazed! Nice going Picky Eater! You are definitely the champion in my book!!!! :-)

Weird Thing About Getting Older...

I have noticed recently that instead of feeling "old" as I have on many occasions now past the age of 30, I have begun to really feel quite young. Not sure if I've just mentally passed from youth to adulthood finally, where a 32-year-old adult is still a pretty young pup, or, maybe I'm just hanging out with old people? :-)

Whatever it is, I have been noticing lately that even though I value all of the life experience three decades has brought me, I really have a lot more life ahead of me (potentially) than behind me, and I have a lot more to learn. Pretty interesting.

Speaking of getting older... Happy Birthday to my favorite father-in-law. :-) He turns the big... we'll let's just say he's more than twice my age. :-)

(I guess I am pretty young!) :-)

Rules vs. Relationship

At the home of some good friends the other night, my son Ian told our hosts that Alex didn't like something (I forget what) because he doesn't like rules... "just like Dad." :-) That gave our friends a little chuckle (maybe partly because they know it's true!) and initiated a brief conversation about the need for rules in society. One opinion was that, in our fallen state, we need rules. We can't function without them. Another opinion (mine) was that we are not made to be bound by rules. Ideally we live free - governed by our own internal rules. I do admit that not everyone chooses to live this way, which necessitates the "rules", but that's why I think rules are always hurtful. They never help, they always limit and detract from the fullness of whatever they are trying to protect.

But I could still completely see the other point of view. So I pondered a bit more why I think it's possible to live sans rules. What I came up with was just from thinking about my own motivations. When I do something for someone else (or, perhaps, don't do something) it's never to meet the requirements of some rule. I never think, "I need to leave that MacBook Pro on my Dad's desk because the Bible says 'Don't Steal'." Instead, I leave the MBPro there (against my impulses...) :-) because I love my Dad. It belongs to him, and it would hurt our relationship for me to take it.

Now, perhaps you think using my Dad was a bad example. Or something as valuable as a MacBook Pro. Let's take a different example. I'm at the bank, and I use their pen to sign my check and fill out the deposit slip. "The pen seems kinda cool... I need one... they won't miss it..." but then your conscience gets the better of you and you think, "No... God says, 'Don't Steal', and that means pens too!" And you leave the pen, thanks to your obedience to the rule.

But what if relationship - even to someone you don't really know - motivated you instead? Instead of thinking "Thou shalt not steal," maybe think, "That pen belongs to someone else, and I wouldn't like it if they took mine, so I'm not going to take it." Or, if stealing is not your gig... think about anything else we have rules for. Step out of the context of obedience to the RULE and think about how you can love - or not be loving - your neighbor by your actions.

It creates a freedom far beyond what any "righteous" obedience to a set of morals could offer. We are free to love because we are loved. When we love, and act out of love, we are living "under the rules" but not by the rules. Does that make sense? Everything I do, I want to have the people around me in the front of my mind. How will what I do - or don't do - affect those around me? I am not considering rules... I am considering relationship.

There is the freedom of living not under rules, but out of love. The former is accomplished by the latter, but the motivation is different. If motivated by rules, we will always fail. We will not live up to the standards, or maybe even need to "break a rule" in order to love someone. But if we live out of love, the heart of the rule is fulfilled.

Matthew 22:35-40 (New Living Translation)
One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

Errands of Grace?

This morning I had to head out for a few quick errands, which turned out to be at least three opportunities to connect with people I know around town. None are "good friends", but I do have a connecting point with all of them.

I was heading up to the post office to grab a few checks that I expected had arrived from a couple different clients. I was by default going to drive, but then I remembered I like to walk when I'm just headed to the post office, and the bank. But I thought, "Today I need to drive... just because it's faster." So, I headed out the driving door and got in my van to drive off.

First stop was the PO. As I was walking in, a Bookseller friend was heading out. I wasn't sure she was going to see me, but I watched her, waiting for a chance to say hello. She seemed in a hurry, so I was going to let her notice me. She did catch a glimpse of me, and so I waved a hello to her. That seemed to break up her rush a bit, so I went over to say hello. We chatted about the things she's dealing with right now (she's closing down her bookstore) and a few other things. She asked how we're doing, and I couldn't help but bring up money, as once again that is the pressing issue in the front of my mind. She offered a few encouraging (and sympathetic) thoughts, and we parted ways with a smile. I was glad we had a chance to connect, even if only for a few brief moments.

I went in to check the box, and unfortunately, no checks. I would have been more disappointed, but I was still glad to have had the chance to have a chat with our Bookseller friend.

Heading out the door, I noticed she was just leaving, and as she did, she slowed and motioned through her window, "No checks?" I shook my head, and she again motioned in empathy, "Sorry... that's too bad..." I smiled, and we went about the business of the day.

But I wasn't done yet. I did have one check to deposit from the day before. So, off to the bank I went.

But as I was ready to pull out of the driveway I remembered a conversation I had previously had in my head (presumably with God) about a little coffee house in town...

I have visited there only maybe two times - three at most. Often I will think of it, when she is closed. This morning I had thought of dropping in for a chai, but dismissed it as my little addiction - for which we needn't spend any money, that we don't currently have. But as soon as I dismissed it, another thought entered my mind. Often, when I think of something out of my normal or planned line of thinking, it is a prompting from God that is not necessarily about the "thing" I am thinking about. I chuckled, and conceded that perhaps God had something more than a cup of chai for me this morning.

So, sitting at the end of the post office driveway with a smile, I decided I would stop by and see what that cup of chai might bring.

I pulled up to the parking lot, and noticed balloons blowing in the breeze at the door of the coffee house. As I got closer, the sign said, "Come celebrate our 1st Anniversary!" So I walked in and said, "Happy anniversary!" The owner thanked me, but seemed... preoccupied. We exchanged a bit of small talk about her menu and such. I placed my order for chai. "I don't have any large cups," she said, obviously frustrated, "I could give you two small cups and you could do a double-fisted drinking thing?" I smiled, and said that one small cup would be just fine.

I believe I asked her how her first year was, but I don't remember exactly what I asked. Whatever it was, it was the right thing to ask. She began pouring out emotions of the day, perhaps recent weeks or months... perhaps even the whole first year. Overall, she is tired... and not seeing the fruit of h