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We hear the word outpouring used sometimes. Well, perhaps we who are Christians even more. An outpouring of God’s Spirit, an outpouring of God’s love, an outpouring of … something like that.
I believe we have been experiencing and outpouring.
Since we received the news of the death of our baby-to-be, and since we have sent out an email to family and friends, we have been the recipients of an outpouring.
E-mails have come in by the dozen. Some sharing the sorrow with us of this life lost to us, and some sharing the joy of this life brought home to heaven. But the most noteable to me is the number of emails we have received from people we even know fairly well sharing that they too have experienced similar hurt. Some even multiple times.
That just amazes me.
It is amazing that it happens. How can so many of our friends, and others, have gone through this as well. We have experienced 3 healthy pregnancies, so it seemed so improbable that we would be sitting here talking about one from our family in heaven.
But it does. A lot.
But equally amazing is the way that those folks shared on a deeper level with us the sorrow we are facing. They know the hurt. They have lived it. Almost like my experience with the story from Job’s life just a few days ago. Their shared sentiments with us have also created another level of shared life that we didn’t understand before.
Tragedy is a strange thing. It is tragic, yet it bring people closer. There is loss, yet there is nearly always gain. The New Testament writers speak often of trials and suffering as a blessing rather than a curse.
We are living the blessing now as we thank God for bringing Jen through all of the medical procedures with full health, and as we celebrate the family he has given us here to share life with.
He is good.
There remain moments of sadness. When I see the photos of recent weeks, I remember how we were trying everything we could to help this baby survive, but in fact, baby had already gone home. I see the prenatal vitamins and remember to remind Jen to take it, then the emptiness returns. And when I brought the van around to pick up Jen at the hospital, my heart ached because it was all wrong. We were supposed to come home with a baby, not leave the baby there.
There are definitely sad times. But overwhelmingly there is hope and peace. God leads us on. We follow with joy. And hope. And trust.
“My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name…”