Just wanted to share a photo of us with Santa at WalMart last Saturday 🙂

We really do have to learn to be bad.

There are times when I know that statement above is NOT true… I see the evidence of selfish, sinful, mistrust of their father in all of my kids from nearly their first day of life.

But today with a crowd of kids from 1st through 8th grade, I remembered again, skepticism is learned. Bad habits are learned. Mistrust of our Father is learned. Selfishness is bred by a constant barrage of self-esteem bashing from within and without. We must fight to get what is ours, because we can’t trust anyone else to do it or get it for us… not even Father.

We were explaining the Christmas story to the kids again this morning, and they knew it completely. And my point with adults is that the essence of the story is missed. The pure and insane love that God has for us, and the sheer joy He finds in just loving us is profoundly astonishing. NO ONE should love me like that. I have convinced myself (or been convinced) of my many faults, and know that I am certainly not worth anyone’s life… especially the life of the Life Giver!

But I am. And they are. And the kids already know it.

They have not yet known the emptiness of failure. The lonliness of rejection. The pain of being different or undesireable. At some point, they will experience those things. We are all very good at pointing out the shortcomings in other people, either directly or inferred.

But God does not. His love is so complete and so penetrating to our core, that no shortcoming or failure or handicap or anything at all really… could keep his love from us. Or, keep him from loving us.

We let the world and ourselves convince us that we are not worth loving, but we are.

Jesus said we should become like little children. THEN we will see the Kingdom of heaven. There is purity. There is trust. There is innocence.

That is what we should strive for. To trust him more. To understand the depth of his love and live in the freedom of that. There is where our life is. There is hope. There is peace.

There… is Christmas.

“Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with your God…”

A line from a Steven Curtis Chapman song (one of my favorite song writers!) Taken from a line in Micah (6:8). And really is at the core of how we are made to live.

It is not like God to be boastful or proud. Even though he has the right to be. Jesus did not come and make everyone fall to the ground with their face in the dirt… he was born in a dirty barn. As a helpless little baby. The King of the universe was wearing diapers. (From WalMart probably, since they didn’t have much money…) 🙂

Jesus said, “Come to me, you who are weary… I will give you rest… because I am humble and gentle…” God’s very nature is the opposite of arrogant.

And for the most part, we convince ourselves we are not arrogant. We don’t go around brashly proclaiming our strong points and accomplishments. We don’t taunt other people with our greatness. (Well, most of us don’t…) 🙂 But are there other forms of arrogance?

One of my son’s favorite things to do (it seems) is to let everyone know that he has seen it, heard it, done it, known it. Whatever “it” is… he’s been there. 🙂 And, for the most part, he’s completely right. He has experienced all of those things. So it’s been frustrating trying to understand why it rubs Jen and I the wrong way when he says those things, even when he is right.

Well, for some reason last night, I saw it. It is arrogance. It is the pride of being better than someone else. Or, at least NOT bested by another’s accomplishments or experiences. Don’t we see this all the time? We have run into quite a few folks along our path who ALWAYS know something about everything… and need to let you know that. Perhaps they don’t really, but you’re still going to hear a little information, a story, or something about any topic you bring up.

There are actually several proverbs that mention the fact that it is often better to NOT say anything. 🙂 I think that’s because part of who we are is wanting to be in the know. Not left out. On the inside. And so in our arrogance, we display our accomplishments. It may not seem that way, or even be our main intent… but it comes across that way, and, I think you’ll agree, rubs folks the wrong way. Perhaps just a little… but there’s still some rubbin’ goin’ on.

So we were trying to teach Ian last night in a brief moment of openness that Jesus was completely humble and gentle. He did not need to be right, or the best, or even keep up with the best. He just loved mercy, did justly, and walked humbly with his God.

What a place this would be if we could follow his example!!

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” – Philippians 2:3-4

“No, O people, the LORD has already told you what is good, and this is what he requires: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” – Micah 6:8

“The most important commandment is this: ‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord.  And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” – Mark 12:29-31

When we were packing up at the Christmas show this past weekend, we had another vendor come over to our booth to pay us a compliment specifically and in person.

He said, “I just wanted you to know you guys were great.”

I said, “Thanks!”, not really expecting anything further.

He quickly followed with, “And if I had to listen to 16 hours of Christmas music, I wouldn’t want to listen to anyone else!”

A compliment, or not? You make the call! 🙂

(We thought it was hilarious! Had to share!)

I have been noticing again that we are really good at recognizing sin… in others. We are so good at seeing what is wrong in our neighbor. And in a way, that’s not bad. Wrong is wrong. But the problem is, we see the wrong and say, “I can’t believe they did that!” when the reality is we certainly CAN believe it, because WE do it.

I guess we Christians are the best at this. We have this sense of self-righteousness, the righteousness that we have earned by our intense effort to live out the rightousness commanded in scripture. We may not get it ALL right, but we are working hard to get most of it right.

So, when we see someone who is clearly not even trying to do what God says, then it’s easy to point our finger in accusation. “I can’t believe he did that!”

I think this is what has kept the church from really helping people. We work so hard to be righteous, to obey all of God’s commands, either out of fear of God, or out of a genuine desire to please him, but either way, it only leads to frustration. WE CAN’T DO IT. We can never be righteous through keeping the law. That is why Jesus died on the cross. We couldn’t beat sin and death. But he could. So through faith in him, we are made righteous.

We know that. We do. But it’s so easy to think we are righteous by our own efforts, and condemn the others who aren’t. But then we close the door on any chance to share the deep love that God has for them.

Do you remember how Jesus treated “sinners”? Who was it that Jesus hung out with, spent his time with? Was it the clean-cut, church-going, got-it-together folks? No! Not even close. Jesus HUNG OUT with the dregs of society. The tax-collectors, the prostitutes, the lepers, the zealots, the gruff fishermen (don’t know if they were the dregs…), he was even ostricized for giving attention to the children.

He spent his time with the sinners. He wasn’t offended. He didn’t have to wash his hands after they left. He wasn’t too holy to be around them. He did not demand that they change their ways before they entered his presence.

He just loved them.

Wow, if we could do that. Instead of playing junior-high gossip and finger-pointing games… we would help a lot more people know the love God has for them, and in turn, help a lot more of them experience the joy of living a life led by the Spirit, instead of being trapped by our sin.

True freedom comes in letting Jesus be our righteousness, not striving for it ourselves. That righteousness is a love for the One who is righteousness. We want to be like our dad. Not because we’re afraid of his punishment, but because we think he is the most amazing Dad ever there was.

And when we live like that, His love is the only thing that matters. We know we are loved, so opinions of others don’t matter. The faults of others are not offensive, as we know we are faulty as well. Love for our neighbor is easier as we admit our righteousness is not ours, it is from God. Otherwise, we are just like them, hurting, lost, and missing the abundant life God wants for us. A life spent with him.

So next time you’re pointing the finger, just remember, Jesus is not pointing fingers at you. You are loved. And so are they.

“I just can’t wait to be king….”

A familiar tune. You may be singing it right now? 🙂 From the Lion King, where Simba longs for the day when no one will tell him what to do, HE will be doing the telling… the ordering around.

I was noticing today that I like to be the King. I like to be the one who is served. The one who sets the agenda. Who makes the calls. To whom all else are subject. No surprises, cause I call the shots.

And having kids, it’s easy to see that we are all that way right from the beginning! We are also staying with some friends who have two small children as well, so that truth has been reinforced even further as 5 kids under the age of 6 can be quite the demonstration of our desire to be in charge or to just simply get our way.

“No one saying do this

No one saying be there

No one saying stop that

No one saying see here

Free to run around all day

I’ll be free to do it my way”

Isn’t that what we all wanted as kids? I can see it in our oldest sons eyes. He is beginning to think, “Wow, there sure are a lot of rules, and boy would I like it much better if I could break everyone of them!”

Paul said that the law actually makes us want to sin. (Rom 7:7) When we know what we shouldn’t do, that’s EXACTLY what we wish we could do. And that’s on top of our natural propensity for self-indulgence. 🙂 We love to take care of ourselves, first and foremost.

But there’s another song that came to mind shortly after I was lamenting the fact that my life did not revolve around me…

“I’m not the King, I just sing… I’m just a fraction of a thing, yeah-heah

I am not anything… without the King of kings, yeah-heah…”

Not all that deep, but very true. 🙂 (Especially that “yeah-heah” part…)

I am not the King. God is. Best part is, I am his kid. So life is good, even though it doesn’t revolve around me.

🙂

After starting the season 0-4, then 2-6, our Bills are making a season of it!

Yesterday they won their 3rd straight game, and 2nd straight on the road. And in convincing fashion! They are 6-2 in their last 8. Amazing. And fun! It’s just fun to see your team doing well.

Two weeks ago (Nov 28) we were able to go to the Bills-Seahawks game in Seattle. That was a blast! They won 38-9 and the 9 came on a last quarter, garbage touchdown. It was complete domination. AND, the best part was the hundreds of Bills fans there with us! We were cheering louder than the Seattle fans! By the second half, it felt like a Bills home game! 🙂

I wanted to post photos last week, but did not get a chance, so here are some photos from the game, including a couple from Liam, a high-school friend of ours who lives in Seattle now, and was at the game with us.

Bills fans celebrate!

It was a cool stadium

We had good seats, but a camera that can’t really see the plays…

Liam’s camera is better…

Post game fun

Go Bills! 🙂

I just wanted to put down some thoughts on where I am at right now.

I had a hard time today. I want so badly to rid our family of the debt we are bound to, and slowly we are progressing toward that goal. And we were given an opportunity that promised to actually wipe out our debt in one weekend. But, various things have made that a distant, unreachable dream. We do still have one day left, but our current pace is FAR from the more-than-I-could-ask-or-imagine goals that I had hoped would be blown out of the water by God’s bigness.

After today, I do not foresee that reality.

And ultimately, I am OK with that. But, in my broken and selfish and impatient and untrusting state… the frustration mounts.

It’s amazing. I really think that I put no confidence in the flesh, in the stuff that I can do. But, somehow this event, that was a gift from God (we had nothing to do with scheduling it) became the source of my “blessing” and I have been putting lots of stock in ITS ability to meet and exceed my needs rather than the One who loves me more than I can know.

I don’t understand how I can know these truths, see God do so many amazing things in and around me, and still continue to doubt him. Still continue to put hope in my own abilities and plans. The inevitable result is a hard crash and burn when the fallible fails. I’ve been there before. I feel like I am there now. And I am sure I will return for a future visit.

But ultimately, even now, I do trust God. I don’t know what he wants to do with this weekend. It has been frustrating in more ways than financially. But I know deeply his love for me. And I have seen his provision for me and Jen and our family. And if God is for me, who or what could be against me? Not even our mountain of debt.

There are giants before me. But my God is bigger.

Stay tuned for a continuing report…

Part of our business is paying attention to, and then doing what other people want. We are in marketing and sales. We have a product that we need people to want enough to plop down some of their hard-earned money in exchange for said product. So we definitely need to be concerned with what others are thinking (about us).

Also, the nature of our product lends itself to a vast smorgasbord of subjectivity. Our abilities are scrutinized, even our hearts, as the music is put on a public platter for consumption and either praise or ridicule… or worse yet, indifference.

All that said, why do I still care about what other people think?

This weekend, at the big Michigan craft show I have thought many times about all of the various opinions re: our presence there. We’re too loud. We’re too Christian. We’re too mellow. We’re too upbeat. We’re not loud enough. We haven’t mentioned enough that people can get CDs at our table. We’ve mentioned that TOO much.

And the wrestling match continues until the scales balance in my favor, and I feel appreciated and wanted. But that is a precarious peace as the winds of people’s opinions change direction faster than a Buffalo Bills winning streak.

🙂

So even with the knowledge of that truth, I persist in my incessant quest to be liked. On the surface it seems to be for financial gain. We need money. I need to be liked in order to sell stuff in order to make money… or so it would seem. But, perhaps it even runs deeper. Perhaps I am still quite preoccupied with me?

Isn’t that just it? Doesn’t our focus on others opinions mean that we are essentially preoccupied with ourselves? Not narcissistic, where we are oblivious to others completely. Rather, we care a lot about what our image is, about who people think we are. About what they think of us.

I already know. I am a child of God. Full heir of all the stuff my Dad has. Now, not later. I am completely loved before the creation of the world. At God’s great pleasure. And I am heaven’s masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus.

That’s who I am.

Did you notice that none of that relates to other people? The church is nice, and in fact, God openly shows his deep love for the church (all of those who belong to him, collectively) by calling her his bride in anticipation of the wedding. There is a level of emotional love and infatuation there that reveals the depth of passion with which God loves us. Not just a commitment to a forlorn spouse… but the eager anticipation of union with the One who is loved more than all. That is his love for his church.

But do you notice that his love is for me? God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him will not perish. That’s not for a group. That has nothing to do with anyone else. That is for me. And throughout Scripture we see glimpses of his deep and personal love for EACH of us. It’s amazing.

So since we know that, why do we focus so much on what others of God’s children perceive us to be? Or better stated, our perception of what others perceive us to be?

God definitely made us relational. That is a big part of it. In a relationship, you do care about how you are perceived. Often we take that too far, but I know I want Jen to think positively of me, and very little makes me feel more loved than Jen’s genuine expressions of affection for me, whatever forms they may take. Not out of obligation, but a real love for me… even with all my flaws.

We try hard then to ensure that the others we do life with are happy with us, that they know they are loved, and we want to know also that we are loved in return. Quite a selfish love, but, we are quite selfish at our core.

That is where Jesus is so amazing. He was able to somehow love selflessly. Eyes off of self, only driven by his affection for every single person he came across. Even the people who hated him, and whom he harshly accused (the pharisees). We see his love for them when he blasts them, then proceeds to lament at how they would not accept his offer of protection. “Jerusalem, how I have longed to take you under my wing like a hen with her chicks.” At the great cost of himself, Jesus loved deeply. Just because he did.

That is where we are to care about others. Not about what they think of us. Not about how we can be served by others, or relationship with them. Not falling into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. But really care about them. Not ourselves.

Jesus said that we can fit all of the OT into one sentence. That’s a good deal for those of you who do not like to read. (I am fairly certain that none of you reading this fall into that category as I can be quite verbose at times…) 🙂 He said that the Law & The Prophets could be summed up in this, “Love the Lord your God with all you are (my paraphrase) and love your neighbor as yourself.”

That is it right there.

And I don’t really think that’s a command. Sometimes it can feel like that, but I really believe that if we understand the depth of the love God has for us, and we live in that each day, we will love the others around us just like we have been loved. We won’t seek to win their approval. We won’t be afraid of them. We won’t compare ourselves to them, in a self-loathing way. We will know the Truth of our Father’s love for us… an unchanging constant… and that will flow into the lives of others that are around us. They will know that truth as a direct outflow of our relationship with the One who loves us most… and whose opinion really matters.

Live in God’s love for you, and the Others will benefit from your gain.

You know, I guess I always assume God’s forgiveness. There are so many stories telling me how ready God is to forgive me. He’s just waiting for me to come back.

And I completely believe it. I just forget how much it costs.

I was noticing recently that it is not easy to forgive.

That sounds silly, even as I write it. You’d think by age 30 I could understand that it is hard to swallow hurt and forgive someone.

But I guess I don’t.

Sometimes it is easy for me. Sometimes the hurt is not so deep, the loss is not so great, and the forgiveness can be dished out a bit easier.

But sometimes it isn’t easy. Sometimes the hurt does run deep. Sometimes the foundation of trust has been slowly eroded for so long that it feels like it is beginning to crumble.

And I wondered, how does He do it? How does he forgive me over and over and OVER again. I must hurt him so much. But his love surpasses the boundaries of my wildest imagination. That much is quite obvious.

Father, help me to live in your love so much today that I can see past all my hurt and love the people around me like you do. I can’t understand all the hurt from ME that you have eaten, that you’ve forgotten over the years. And I am sure there will be lots more. But I think you can help me. Please do. There is no greater gift I can give anyone than even a shadow of your love.

Let your love flow through me now.

(For complete song lyrics, and audio sample, click here.)