Estimated reading time: 8 minute(s)
The Dream Giver
At the strong recommendation of several close friends, I finally got a chance to read the book, The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson. Just completed it this morning (here on VACATION!!!!! Which, by the way, will explain my prolonged absence from blogging… have tried to actually limit computer time and spend as much family time as possible. But, this morning, everyone is still sleeping, and wanted to get down some thoughts from the book… so….)
The whole idea of the book is that every one of us has been given a Big Dream from God (The Dream Giver) and even given the tools to accomplish it and the desire to pursue it… but most of us let that pass by to remain in the land of Familiar.
I agree with that. And the book was quite motivational in that, throughout the read, I was thinking, “YES! I want to live my dream!!!”
Problem is, I still can not figure out exactly what My Dream is…
When he first started out, he said to try and think back to what you have always wanted to do since you were a child… and the first thing that came to my head was writing. I have always loved to write. I wrote stories, and poems, and yes, even songs… (though I don’t really claim any of my 8-year-old songs…) I think I remember writing and even making books with my craft-loving Grandma as early as age 5? I loved it. When at a job fair in high school I was thinking about what sort of career I would like (based on what I like to do), all I could think of was writing.
So, perhaps that’s my dream. Fulfilled in a pretty neato way through the songs God has given me to write, and perhaps even this blog? 🙂
BUT, as the book continued, it sure seemed like basic was my dream. Which was really funny to me. If that is true, it is the dream that I never dreamed. 🙂
A friend who read and recommended the book, talked to me about her dream, because part of the book is to talk to people you know who are living their dream. She saw me as someone living my dream. And I went along with it, though I questioned at the time the veracity of that statement.
My dream? I never wanted to do this? This has never been my plan? I never set out to be a song writer or a worship leader or to trust my family’s entire well-being to the generosity of others (through our Generous God, of course). It has always been something I knew God was calling us to. And he has confirmed that over and over again through numerous miracles in our life of provision and amazing arranging of life circumstances to remind us that He was not only leading but with us every step of the way.
So, I was quite confused, because I know basic is what God wants us to be doing, and how he wants to use us, but I have never considered it a “dream”… and this book (and a past conversation with a friend) is now making me think that it IS my dream.
Which made me sad.
The book was motivating me to want to live my Big Dream from my Dream Giver… and I was realizing that perhaps I was… and all the while, I was refusing to call it My Dream. I continue to not call it my dream, but to think of many other “dreams” when asked what my “dream” is….
I love to write. I have several books that I just need to sit down and write. But who has time to do that? And no one would want to publish them anyway? Why waste the time and energy and resources?
I have always wanted to own and operate a restaurant. I love cooking. Even more than that, I love to serve people. It would be an amazing, family-friendly environment where the food would be mouth-wateringly delicious, the service would make you feel like you’re the most important person there, and the atmosphere would always be super fun! Live music, theme nights, game nights and more? And beyond that, you would always feel loved and welcome there.
One of the books I want to write, is really a joint effort with my wife. And, has already begun. But again, seems like quite a diversion. But anytime we are near to it, any time we get to present it, both Jen and I feel the deep passion of this idea. The subject matter is relationships. There are so many ideas out there, but God has given us the best one in His word. One man and One woman for life. Unconditional, unwavering commitment to another person is the safest, coolest, and still most amazingly dangerous and wonderful place to be. We’re living it! And my passion is that so many young people would trust God enough to let HIM provide their life-mate… not go chasing after it, not go through many pre-partners like disposable spouse samples. There is a better way… and how I long to share that with everyone possible.
Beyond all those dreams, I dream of a family where everyone knows they are a valued member. Where each member realizes they are uniquely created to contribute to the family, and to the world. Where each of us is loved completely and loves completely. Where my wife and I can not just teach our faith, but live it so well that our kids long to follow the God whom we see and follow.
Now which of those is my dream?
Perhaps they all are. In a way, I am living all of those currently. (The restaurant one may be a stretch, but one of my most favorite things to do is to host other families for dinner. Sometimes I even dress the part of the restaurant worker… just ask Laura… 🙂
But as I finished the book, I think I may have finally gotten it.
Yes, perhaps those are all ways that God will work out the “Dream” he has given me. And I think that basic is definitely part of that.
But my dream is more.
I remembered back to a time when I was 18 or 19 years old. I had moved back home to live in my parents’ basement and go to school at the University at Buffalo. I was an English major (pursuing journalism, as a way to live my then small dream of being a writer). But really, my major was The Dream Giver. Every moment of my day was spent pursuing him. Really… you can ask my professors. 🙂 I was late and somewhat inattentive that year. Most likely, they would not even remember me, because I was really just not there.
I even joined the football team (another “dream” of mine… I love the game, and am fairly good at it…) But the only thing that really mattered was giving my everything to Jesus… living for him.
And during that time, I felt God asking me to give him my life.
I fought that HARD! All I could think that it meant was being a PREACHER! And I wanted absolutely no part of that. None. But the invitation was unmistakable.
I want you to give me your whole life…
And my response was similar, I wanted only to live for Jesus and tell other people about life with him. The life he died to offer. And lives to provide.
After big struggles (which are too long to post on this already over-sized blog) I finally decided to go for it, even though “it” was as yet undefined.
I talked with the coach of the spring football team about it. He was a Christian man. Told him I loved the chance to play football, but my passion was elsewhere, and I felt like God was leading me to do this. He agreed (perhaps a bit too quickly?!?) 🙂 and said I should do what God was leading me to do.
I spoke with many folks about it, and decided to end my pursuit of a career in journalism and enroll the following semester at Cincinnati Bible College majoring in… I HAD NO IDEA! 🙂
Along the way, I learned to play guitar. I began to write songs like crazy. I was learning so much about life with Jesus. I got to lead worship for 100 of my fellow students in a very impromptu way… which was unsettling, but led to more opportunities. From that, I was asked to join a campus ministry team. I kept writing songs, and in fact, decided to record a CD of them with friends on campus who formed a band to make the CD, and then to do some concerts and worship leading.
I graduated and continued work in campus ministry. Continued to write songs. Felt God’s strong leading to focus on the music he was giving me. So we moved from an increasingly successful campus ministry to the unknown life of ministry in music.
And there have been many steps along the way where God has continued to hone the direction of his call on my life… on our life.
But I think in the end… that season in my parents’ basement at 10150 Lapp Rd was the defining moment for my dream.
I want to live my life completely for Jesus and let everyone know about life in Him.
That’s it. Whether it’s in campus ministry, or music ministry with a church. Or through basic as it has been for 5 years now. Or through web design, or writing books, or a restaurant, or a bigger-than-me relationships ministry to receptive teens who want God’s best.
Or simply through guiding my amazing family in this faith journey of life.
My dream is to completely trust my Dream Giver with ALL of my life. And to lead others to his life-giving, refreshing, living water.
He is my dream. You are my dream.
Everything else is just bonus.