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I am not certain if he still is, but at one point my father-in-law was on a diet. His cholesterol was higher than his doctor wanted and so he was directed to make changes to his diet. I remember lots of funny stories of the stuff he was eating then instead of what he used to enjoy, but the one thing I remember most was that the new items did not measure up. There was the light mayo, not even a close facsimile according to his frequent comments on what it reminded him of. And the reports of what the light salad dressing felt like in his mouth were not exactly ringing endorsements. There was not much about the substitutes that my father-in-law could recommend.
Substitutes are just that. They are a second-rate, fill-in, use-’em-if-ya-hafta replacements for the real deal. They do not measure up, though they may purport to do so. They are only a copy of the genuine artifact.
Yet so often, we are captivated by them.
Generally, we can steer clear of the diet colas, and the sugar-free ice cream, and the generic brands of everything under the sun that offer us the slogan, “Compares to…” but often does not come through on its claim. But there are many other substitutes that would have our attention diverted from the real thing.
Sin, in its simplest form perhaps, is a substitute. We can see that. Lust, adultery, pornography, and other sexual deviancy are a substitute for the intimacy God intended between a husband and a wife. It is even symbolic of our intimate relationship with him. We are the bride, he the groom. So any substitute for that diminishes the reality of his closeness and relationship with us. Stealing is a substitute for trusting God’s provision. You can sure load up on the good stuff just by taking what you want – especially since God won’t give it to you.
On down the line we see many others. Lying is a substitute for truthfulness, damaging the openness and trust in relationships. Slander is a substitute for perhaps even feelings of inadequacy in our own life, our own worth. Slander tears down others to where we feel we are. If you look at any “obvious” sin, we can see that it is a substitute for something far greater that God intended for us.
But how about the good stuff? Can the good things God has given us be a substitute for the better? How about the good things we do for him? I once heard a phrase that was reminding the listener to not settle for “good”, when there’s “better”. But we do.
We love the blessings he has given. We love the house, the toys, the money, the friends, the family, the job, the skills. We love all of those things, and each of them or even all of them together can end up stealing the “better” from us.
Love of our stuff can get us so focused on its ability to please and protect and provide for us that we miss the reality of God’s care and provision for us. Jesus said don’t store up treasure where it rots, but store it up in the eternal things. Things that can’t be taken away. Things that matter. Things that are “better”.
I love food! I love to make it, I love to eat it, I love to share it. If I had endless resources, I believe food would become a substitute for at least my relationship with people and even with God… but maybe even a substitute for life?! I do like food….
Sometimes you can get so wrapped up in your job that you have no time for family, or for God. Sometimes you can swing the other way and pour yourself into your family, only to find that they will fail you. In some way, they will fail you.
I love my wife. She is the person I adore the most. We have been friends for more than half of my life now. I have always respected her and loved to hear what she has to say. I am not always good at living that out… or showing that to her…. 🙂 But, I do. I have seen in her that she feels the same way about me. I know she loves me, and has shown me over the years that this is true. But sometimes there are rocky moments in our relationship. At times I find myself craving her love and approval even more than I do from my Father. I work hard to restore our relationship, perhaps partly motivated by a desire to have a substitute in place of the real thing. My true value is not in what another Creation thinks of me, but what my Creator has already proven he thinks of me. Sometimes even my relationship with my wife can be a substitute for a deep relationship with the One who formed me.
You see, even the greatest of gifts from our Father – the ones that we should cherish and enjoy – can become substitutes for what he truly created us to be. Everything was made through him and by him and for him (Colossians 1:16). That includes me. I was made for him. Scripture also says that I am not my own, that I was bought at a price. That does not imply slavery, as some think. God also assures us that we are no longer servants, but friends. (John 15:15, Rom 5:1-10). But it does imply that I have a purpose. God made me for a reason. And I should accept no substitutes.
Sometimes our substitutes can even take the form of a “relationship” with Him. Such a nebulous, indefinable thing… a relationship with an invisible God. How do you live that out except to begin a pattern of things that act as a “substitute” for a relationship… in a good way? Doesn’t prayer and quiet time foster a relationship with Father? Doesn’t serving him in my church, and spending time with other believers – serving him by serving them – doesn’t that strengthen my relationship with Him? Yes! Of course it does! He wants us to spend time with him, and to know him, and to serve him by serving others. Those things can of course take on a variety of forms, but all are very good things that draw us closer to him.
For a while. And then, the things that drew us close, begin to draw us apart. Not noticeably, or intentionally. Not at all. But ever so slowly, the form which led to the end of a relationship with our Father begins to become the end in itself. It changes from being a means to the end, to being the end. The routine sets in, and we end up serving, and reading, and praying and even sitting quietly “with him” just to do all of those things instead of in order to be with him. Unknowingly a slight adjustment happens and the form becomes a substitute for the real thing.
Sometimes it seems to me that we have made what we call church to be that. We have worship times and service projects and this group and that group and retreats and weekend events and social gatherings and classes and series of lessons and training seminars and this ministry and that. We have programs and plans and goals and visions and all kinds of things that cleverly and skillfully draw us closer to the heart of God. We hire the best people. We build large buildings that are perfectly tailored to usher people straight to the Throne of God. We seek his blessing on our endeavors and put him at the focus of all we do.
And, I truly believe that is our motivation. We love him! We so want to give back to him and to share him with everyone we possibly can! But what I have seen happen too often is that we are not bringing people to a full and open one-to-one relationship with their loving Father. Rather, we are bringing them to a structure whereby they may know more about that relationship, and tell others as well. Perhaps, by all of our great effort to know Him and to help others to do the same… we have created the ultimate substitute?
A substitute is no more than that. It is an inferior replacement for the intended reality. I have metal in my mouth where teeth were supposed to be. My wife wears glasses to correct for what her eyes are supposed to do. Sometimes I even watch Arena Football, when I was clearly meant to watch only the REAL stuff… 🙂
It’s easy when it’s diet cola, or light mayo. We know those aren’t real, and they aren’t the “better”. My father-in-law will certainly attest to that! Sometimes we do begrudgingly have to accept those. But it’s much harder when we lapse unknowingly into a substitute that by all appearances seems like the real thing. But, over time has become a substitute for the true fullness of life as the one whom God has chosen to direct all of his love toward. The one whom he has invited to walk alongside for eternity. The one for whom he laid down his life.
There is definitely no substitute for reality.