Family

Estimated reading time: 5 minute(s)

I really love what God created when he made family. There are not many things that get me “choked up” in life, but family coolness is one of them – even in the movies.

OK, so I wasn’t really “choked up” tonight, but there were some real moments of coolness in the movie Cheaper By The Dozen 2. I don’t know what you think of that movie, or the idea of 12 kids in one family, but I don’t really think that matters. You may choose to stop earlier than a dozen for financial (or, sanity?) reasons… and we will likely do the same. But the coolness of belonging, acceptance, and sacrificial love that can happen in a family is so worth all the hardness.

Before I continue, please know that I am well aware that not every family is a great place to belong. I was talking with a friend tonight who has apparently had a not-so-good family life, and another friend came over for lunch and mentioned at some point how she really wants to make sure her child(ren?) have the family she didn’t. And another friend is even writing a book about how his family life was way harder than it should have been. I know. The world is not as it is supposed to be, meant to be. That is quite obvious. But actually, that’s one of the cool things of the CBTD movies.

The family is obviously not perfect, but beyond the squabbling, constant mischief and a few internal arguments, there is that place to belong. Gary & Anne Marie Ezzo in Growing Kids God’s Way call it “Family Identity”. It’s the things that you do together, the things that you are, things that are important to you… these things define who you are. The Campbells are loved by God and want to love others the same way. We want everyone in our family to know they are accepted and loved as they are. And, we want our kids to see that we try to love other people that way – the same way God has loved us. I think that is our identity.

There will be other things like, walks through town in the evening after dinner… Monday nights at the library… trips to Chill & Grill for ice cream… reading the Bible with Dad in the mornings… reading books with Mom… learning math and other book things from Mom… eating meals together (though at the moment with a 4-year, 2-year, and 5mo old that is not all that pleasant…)… holiday traditions like making cookies with Dad, decorating with Mom and visits from the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Three Kings. All of these things add to the richness of who we are as the Campbells.

But the greatest of these is love.

That was so obvious in the movie tonight (they did a good job) and it just seems so obvious to me in life. The most fun people to be around are the ones who have learned to listen to you, and accept you, and help you feel like you’re important to them. Ideally, the people who are that for you the most are your family. Often, we let our busyness get in the way of that. Certainly it is mostly unintentional… but it still happens. Dad’s too busy with work, Mom’s too busy with projects, and everyone else is to busy with whatever is currently distracting their attention from the important stuff in life – relationships.

In the end, that’s what it comes down to. The old, tired cliche is so badly wrong. “The one who dies with the most toys, wins.” We know that’s not true, but sometimes we still pursue it. It doesn’t even have to be for financial gain. My goodness… I have so much to keep me occupied that doesn’t pay me a cent. (Thankfully I don’t actually need more than 6 hours of sleep a night, so I do get to keep doing a lot of those things… and don’t have to sacrifice time with friends and family to do it…) 🙂

This is not a condemnation. I am not calling anyone out. I was just reminded again tonight of how amazingly I have been blessed with a wife who loves me – a lot – and great kids who are such unique and fantastic creations of their Father (the one who “Art In Heaven”…) who loves them more than I can even imagine. I love the friends God has placed around me, and I even love that I can be a friend to people I don’t even know.

Most of all, Father astounds me. I like to call him that. I’m glad Jesus did. I’m also glad I have a great Dad here named Tom who has been a great reflection of how our mutual Dad loves us. Generous, sacrificial love. My dad’s not perfect. But he’s done (is doing?) a great job. I hope I am, too. For my kids. I love them so much. (Can you tell?)

I really hope you get time today to love someone God has put close to you. You are not where you are by accident. We can take that too far sometimes and say that “everything happens for a reason”. I suppose I don’t know that it doesn’t, but I am pretty sure that God knows who is where. And who you’re with (family, friends, neighbors) are who you can love and be loved by.

It’s not your house, car, job, hobby, church, pets, volunteer work, dreams, or any other thing you can do that will matter in life. What will be remembered of you is how you loved and were loved. The other stuff is mostly irrelevant.

Hope you’re part of a great family today. Blood relation, or Blood relation.