You Can’t Go Back

Estimated reading time: 3 minute(s)

It feels like we’re in a desert land right now. It’s dry, and hot. We’re tired, and as far as we can see all around us, it’s only sand. No one else around, and that’s the problem.

Oh, there are plenty of people. We have great friends. They are quick to help with things we need, or with our kids, and we do enjoy spending time with all of the people God has surrounded us with. On top of that, our family is super supportive and we love them completely. We have definitely been blessed.

The desert is in our current journey with God. We are certain that he is leading us, and quite confident that where we are is the best place for us, and in fact, he is most definitely here with us. But we just feel alone. No one else (at least no one near us) is in the same place as us: wanting to experience God outside of the traditional, institutional framework of “the church”. There are a few – but no one who is just around the corner from us. No one with whom we cross paths on a daily basis, or even weekly.

Sometimes that makes me think, along with prodding from a few folks, that we should just jump back into the fold, and go along with the “rest” of Christianity. It can’t be that bad. Right?

WRONG.

Have you ever seen the Matrix? I watched it for the first time sometime within the past year. I really liked it. It was cool. Not just the special effects, but the story was pretty cool, too. Well, if you recall the main story was that humans were plugged into this giant computer simulation (the “matrix”) and their lives were being lived out in this simulated world. A few people had managed to “wake up” from this world, they were rescued from it. And once they were out, they saw the world as it really was. Even if they wanted to go back to the matrix, they could not because they knew it was fake. Pretend. A simulation.

It would be the same for us. It’s like we have been pulled out of the matrix. If we were to suddely go back to weekly (and more) attendance at a neighborhood Christian service center, and especially if we were to plug in there and “serve” (teach, nursery, music, etc) it would be like trying to go back into the matrix. You can’t go back. You already know it’s fake. You can’t do it.

We have tasted the reality of the every day presence of God in our lives everywhere we are. Why would we go back to putting him at a time or place? How could we go back to pretending that those services and programs are our source of Christian life when we know the real source of Life?

No. We can’t. We have been pulled from the Matrix, and we can never go back. We can certainly visit. But we can never completely plug back in.

And I think that’s a good thing.

We have always wanted to live every moment with God. Everything we do being worship to him. We always said the words, but now I think we are actually living it, and it’s really freeing and wonderful. But we are currently in a desert, and that’s not entirely enjoyable.

But this season will pass. And during the times in the desert, we learn to rely on our Father even more. See, even though there’s sand, and we feel like we’re alone in some ways – we’re not. He is with us, and leading us.

And so, we press on.