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I feel like I have shared too many times on this here blog how money is tight for us, or just stories of how we could use a bit more cash. I certainly hope they never come across as ungrateful. And definitely not as a ploy to encourage donations or product purchase. (Though you are welcome to browse any of our stores…) 😉 I generally post stories of little or no money here (and what comes of that) because they are encouraging to me, and I hope they are to you.
The last month or two (or three??) business has been incredibly slow, and so as far as I can remember this has been the lowest financially that we have been. Though I completely trust God is taking care of us, and will take care of us – I admit to several (many?) times of being overly burdened by not being able to pay our bills. It definitely takes its toll on me.
Two times recently I was just wondering why God would let us be in this position. Once I was unloading our trailer (so that we can sell it, so that we can pay some bills) and I noticed that we still have a LOT of our Christmas CD. Tons. And I just thought, “Man! These need to be in bookstores, and Christmas stores across the country… not in boxes in our driveway!” So I began making plans to get them to stores, even though my plans to make money never seem to work… 🙁
As I was taking another load of boxes up to my office (their temporary home) I got an email from our old neighbor. Turns out she is taking over the bookstore in town and wanted to know how she would go about purchasing some of our Christmas CDs to sell at her store! Amazing. 🙂 It’s small potatoes compared to what we need, but was an encouragement that God is listening nonetheless.
Then this week I was really feeling the weight of past due bills, and almost zero income, and I said to Jen, “I just don’t know why God is doing this?” It was a moment of definite fatigue and frustration. I was out to run an errand or something. Within seconds I think of me thinking these things, wondering why God was not providing money, a friend called and said he had an envelope with “some green stuff” in it waiting for us at his office. 🙂 I knew again that it was not going to relieve all of the pressure, but again, the timing was really fun – and did lighten my load just a tad.
So, again, I don’t have any idea why God is letting us go through this. He hasn’t told us yet. Perhaps he won’t. But through whatever circumstances, we do know and trust his love for us… and it was nice to see it (even if only an apparently small gesture) in those two recent perfectly timed responses. 🙂