Friends, and Friends of Friends

Estimated reading time: 6 minute(s)

As I was working on restoring our trailer yesterday (more about that later…) I was listening to a few podcasts, including the latest God Journey. The episode title was the same as the title of this post. Wayne Jacobsen was telling the story of his recent trip to Ireland to gather with around 100 people from all over the world, just to be together. It wasn’t a conference with any sort of program or agenda, just a gathering of friends.

While he was there he said he realized that the Body of Christ is not about what we do together really, “the Body of Christ is friends, and friends of friends”. He saw that as people from all over the world were connecting that week through other connections. “Hi [friend]! I’d like to introduce you to [my other friend].” And once the introduction had taken place, Jesus’ body was grown and strengthened as they shared stories of what God has done and is doing in them.

There was not one sermon, not one time where everyone sat and listened to one person. There was only one song they all sang together. There were times when they were all together, but the focus was on each other, not any one thing they were doing. In a gathering of 100 people, there might have been 50 conversations. And again, none of this was planned or scheduled… they just let it happen. And it did.

So, it sounded like a cool week where part of the body of Christ was enjoying life as (perhaps) it’s meant to be. It was encouraging to hear how God had brought all of those people together, one relationship at a time, over 30 years or so.

Toward the end of the podcast, as Wayne was reflecting on that week and some other recent events in his life, he said this:

“The fact that they’ve been 30 years related to each other says a whole lot about the fact that they didn’t have an organization to carry together, because if they would have had an organization to carry together, they likely wouldn’t still be in fellowship all of them with each other.

That’s what our [personal] track record is like. … If we hadn’t had this machine among us, and the fight for who could control it, who was willing to fight to control it, we’d probably still be great friends today. Actually, the power of the institution got between us. There was something to fight over, something to own, something to have.”

And I think those words instantly made me stop what I was doing, and make a mental note to go back and write them down. I know I have probably said something like that here before, but it is so true, and was evidenced at a party we were at this weekend.

My brother-in-law was being celebrated by his church for 25 years of service there. Twenty-five years is a LOT of years! He has also been married that long as of this coming October. So we were twice celebrating his oldness! 🙂 It was fun.

Part of the celebration was a slideshow of various moments over the past 25 years. It was nice to relive the memories, and to see old faces. (Some are not with us any more.) But as the slideshow went along, I noticed two things. First, one of the main memories was building a new building. I certainly remember how much effort we put into doing that. (That’s when I was on staff with that group as well.) It certainly was a major event in the timeline of that group’s existence. But it dominated a good portion of the slideshow, when I wished we could see more photos of people…

Second, and most disheartening, was once we got back to people, over and over all I could see were people who had been somehow hurt by others in the church, and had left hurt, disgraced, or disgruntled. I actually hope that I was the only one who noticed that. But I really did. So many faces of people who were somehow either hurt enough to leave, or else had no other option but to leave. Good people who were prime time players in the goings on of this organization.

Then I heard the words Wayne said regarding his observation of that group of believers in Ireland. They have no organization to protect. All they have is their shared life together. There’s no building, no programs, no schedule, no “Purpose“… just 30 years of living life together with Jesus in common. I couldn’t help but connect that thought with what I had seen and felt during that slideshow.

I know that people move on, and relationships (maybe even mostly) are “for a season”. But I don’t believe they have to end with hurt. Unfortunately, the specific organization I am talking about (as evidenced by what Wayne said) is not alone in its track record of disagreements leading to fractured fellowship. I am convinced that if we didn’t have a “Thing” to protect, or to run, or to serve… we would enjoy being together that much more. The “Thing” (Wayne called it a “machine”) definitely gets in between us. It can bring us together, but quite often, in the end, it gets in between us.

Living life outside of that Thing is interesting. It’s certainly freeing, and we have never known God so personally and completely involved in everything we do more than we do now. It’s also a bit frustrating relationally as many times we are not able to spend time with the friends we have made over the years because they are otherwise scheduled with events, gatherings, or meetings related to their particular Thing. Busyness is probably more an American problem than a problem with the Thing, but it is certainly evidenced there as well. But we are in America, so we have certainly seen that busyness limiting our time to just enjoy relationship with our friends who are Christians.

I don’t really have a neat summary point to all of this. Just sharing some observations from the weekend. I really think it’s true that we could really experience what the body of Christ is so much more if we weren’t trying to do these “Things”. I certainly have the limited perspective of just being me, and my 33 years or so on the planet. But from where I am now, and what I have seen… life is about people and relationships, not about what we do.

Seems that’s quite well applied to the church, too.