Estimated reading time: 3 minute(s)
For some reason, lots of us expect something out of life. More than something, we expect a lot. There is a whole list of things that we think we deserve. That life somehow owes us.
That, my friends, is faulty thinking.
Life is not fair. I am not even thirty, and I have definitely learned that. At times it gives the appearance that it is fair, but alas, it is only an illusion.
I was watching a special on PBS about the evil empire of Wal*Mart. The show revealed how the company’s tactics created such a large retail force that now instead of the manufacturers dictating the cost and volume of a product, the retailers (and the consumers) are now in the driver’s seat. That is a role reversal that has caused a chain reaction in a lot of areas, including the loss of manufacturing jobs here in the US.
I do not wish to debate (at this point) the level of humane conditions for workers, or any of the government subsidizing or other props that create the lower cost of business on foreign soil… that may or may not be true. Again, life is not fair. What I want to focus on is the general attitude of the worker who lost his job, and the larger picture of a prevailing attitude of entitlement.
The man who was being interviewed had just lost his job that he had held for about 30 years in a local TV manufacturing plant. Companies like Wal*Mart are purchasing completed products from other countries (rather than importing materials to assemble here) at such a low price that they making it impossible for companies to compete if they manufacture in the United States. This man was almost whining as he spoke of the woes of his current state of living. No job, no benefits, prospects were bleak of getting another job with the same pay and benefits.
Did you catch that? He didn’t think prospects were bleak for another job. He didn’t think he was going to die of starvation or have to mortgage everything he had just to “make ends meet”. He wanted the same pay and benefits. It’s not FAIR for Wal*Mart to come in here and take away his life. “I DON’T WANT TO CHANGE!!!!”
That’s it right there. We are so sure that we are owed whatever list of things we might hold to… a job, a house, a spouse, a family, a child, benefits, a car, TWO cars, high-speed internet (well, now, we MIGHT be entitled to THAT…). The list goes on and on. Life owes us.
But it doesn’t.
“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Jesus asks us. And in another story, God tells a man who was making big plans for his wealth that he’s just foolish, cause he was so concerned about that, and he was about to die… and not get any of it.
We NEVER know what life is going to bring us. We may lose our job and have to completely change a lifestyle. We may lose our house or a car or everything we own… none of it is permanent. (No matter how much we may convince ourselves otherwise.)
We may lose a child.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Nothing is, except the One who never changes. It says that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. [Heb 13:8] And it also says that his love will never change (for us) [Rom 8:38-39] and that he will never leave us. [Matt 28:20]
Life is not fair. It’s not “fair” that we lost our baby. It’s not fair that the health insurance people didn’t want to cover us (though that did work out nicely). It’s not fair when people lose their jobs and have to start over again. Life is just not fair.
But we are loved. And He is God.
Knowing that makes life a lot better.
“life sucks… then you die”
I remember seeing that on a t-shirt. what’s worse is when you see it on the bumper of a 94 Dodge Shadow wrapped around a lamp post. in college, that idea resonated in the coffee shops and the townie-bars, as we looked around and realized that much of the ‘american dream’ that our grandparents seeded into our consciousness… a dream of hard-work yielding picket fences and security and prosperity… was dead. The death-rattle for the american dream had long sense silenced and we were left wondering why we were spending ours, our parents, and the governments money getting an education to find a job that isn’t there.
Our generation was labeled the “slackers” and “drifters” and “lazy” when in-fact we were disillusioned and dishearted as something we’d counted as normal and standard was becoming a generational… and not for us. How do we react to that? i think that’s the important part… and it’s taken me a long time to get there… It’s hard watching anything die… a family member, a relationship, a dream, or for the jobless-man… life as he knew it. There’s a feeling of helplessness. No matter how hard we kick, we’re sinking. And for this man, and many like him, it’s not just his own stomach that aches. His family is relying on him (in those traditional cases where the man is the breadwinner)and he bears the weight of that on his shoulders as well. We can remind him that “life’s not fair… and owes you nothing. Sorry you expected something; you shouldn’t have”. That is an option, and a true one… and for some people, that’s exactly what they need to hear in order to not wallow on self-pity. But sometimes that best thing we can do is greive with him and not gloss over how much it hurts… and not deny that we too have hopes that die, and loose our shirts when betting on life. Empathy goes a long way, in the right situation. Or maybe i’m mis-reading the whole thing… that’s always possible and more than likely. Grace and peace to you and yours.
a set of sidenotes:
1. my grammar stunk in the previous post… i hope the post came across
2. i’m way too soft sometimes, and thankful that there are people who will just call it as they see it.
3. i’m incredibly thankful for the empathy shown me.
i’ll proofread before commenting again 🙂
Mike,
Good point. We certainly need to have compassion on individuals who are dealing with the losses life hands them. I think I mentioned that we are in a similar boat of loss at the moment. I was not intending to slam the dude mercilessly while he was down. My bigger point was that he was not a solitary voice. He was an example of a prevailing attitude in our country. We fight and complain and grumble and gripe because we think life owes us something. We point fingers and accuse, creating deeper divides. Loss affects us all. Life is not guaranteed. My point was just to shed light on this faulty way of thinking. It doesn’t remove the sting of loss… but it does perhaps make it easier to deal with if we can trust God to get us through it, and lead us to the next thing.
Hmm… Grumbling and griping. yes, we do engage in a high hill of that. And yes, that’s a horrible attitude. and no, life owes us nothing. Neither do others, nor does God. (oh, that’s a fun thought…) Is entitlement different from expectation? is it just a difference in attitude, or are they both shades of the same thing?