Estimated reading time: 9 minute(s)
The NBA playoffs are on my television right now. Along with highlights from the latest LPGA tournament stop. Before that there were selected highlights (if you can call them that) from various MLB games. We are a society that loves sports, loves competition.
And not only at the professional level.
Today there was some fairly fierce competition on the field as teams battled it out for supremacy, striving for the goal, rounding the bases, diving and sliding, sacrificing their own bodies for the team. It was a rousing game of kickball. 🙂
We were invited to join two other families in a friendly game of kickball at the school playground that sits directly across from our house. (Quite a prime location upon which we reside.) Even though it had been a couple decades since we last donned our kickball uniforms, we decided to accept the invitation and have some athletic fun together.
As we were getting ready for the event, Ian decided it was a great chance to wear his cleats. He fished them out of hiding and asked me to help him get them on. As I was tying them I told him that I had a pair of these somewhere around the house. He seemed excited that we might have matching shoes – and cool shoes at that – so I thought I’d go look for them. I was pretty sure I had seen them in the basement, and I was correct! There they were, and with a bonus. Inside one of the shoes were my old football receiver’s gloves!!! Cool! I stopped by the boys’ ball bucket on the way out to grab the football following this unexpected discovery. 🙂
We all began to arrive at the field, tossing the football around, taking care to not injure the smaller people among us. We did have to hold back a good deal so as no to break anyone. That was what I was expecting for the ensuing kickball game. A friendly, low-key, help out the little guys game. Those can be fun. I love to see my kids having fun! I was not however expecting any great levels of competition.
As the game went on, I was right. We were quite lenient with the rules, and playing with a less than optimally inflated plastic ball also makes things rather difficult. But it was a blast! I think every time I was up to kick I was holding our 1-yr-old daughter in one arm. That made it a bit more difficult. 🙂
Every once in a while, I was able to make a play though. One that was challenging enough to be a little fun for me. I would field the ball near 3rd base and since it was so difficult to throw that ball, I would run across the field to first base and tag the runner just a few feet before they touched the base! Nice! A few times the runner was my wife! So I playfully tried a bit harder to tag her. Just having fun. 🙂
We ended up with a tie game – everyone was a winner! – and a few of us guys started throwing the football around. Even got in a few punts. That was a blast. I miss doing that. I had very small aspirations of playing football professionally at one point. I love it, and I am actually pretty good at most aspects of it. But, God had something else for me, and I love the path he has taken me through the past dozen years or so. Still, it’s always good to get out and really get to challenge my abilities. Most of my football throws these days are at about 20%. The targets are two small little boys still learning how to stop a ball from hitting their face, let alone catch it. 🙂
It was exhilarating, awesome fun! My last punt before we went home was a booming spiral kick that had some decent hang time. And I was just amazed that I could still do it. I loved it. Fun to try and achieve and just keep trying to do better. I do love competition, but mostly with myself. I have perfectionist tendencies to be sure, so that can be somewhat detrimental, but mostly it’s all fun. Just the drive to constantly reach new heights, new goals.
Well, I don’t know how it is in your house, but here in the Campbell home it seems almost each new day brings a new opportunity to see just how different my wife and I can be. 🙂
Jen is not competitive. I think she may have one competitive bone in her body, but it is buried deeeeep down inside her and rarely if ever makes an appearance. It did not show its face today. Not even in such an intensely competitive environment as a family kickball game where several parents toted infants as they ran.
After we got home, she asked me in a private moment where everyone else was outside, “Were you just being competitive, or were you being mean out there today?” I didn’t really know what she meant, so I asked. She said, “Your face, when you were coming to tag me, was just… mean.”
I was shocked. Really. I wasn’t trying to be mean. At all. I guess my face contorts when I am trying hard. 🙂 But I assured her that is really all it was. I was just trying.
And that surprised me. I mean, it was just a friendly game with kids ages 3 to 9 at an elementary school playground with a not-fully-inflated plastic ball. The game had no bearing on my life, or my financial standing. There was nothing to be gained by making even a single play on that field. And yet with each new kicker, with each new “pitch”… I was trying.
I knew a guy my freshman year of college at Michigan State who was the absolute most competitive human being I have ever met. You may think that’s too superlative. It is not. We would often have to either restrain him from hurting someone (including himself) or, he would just simply storm out of our friendly pick-up basketball game. Steaming, fuming, spouting not so nice words… and all for a game that meant absolutely nothing.
Have you ever known someone like that? Are you like that? Have you ever felt any piece of that? What drives us to compete? What makes us try so hard for things that don’t even really matter. How does competition such as a sporting event – no matter what level – make our faces look mean?
Personally, it is just my desire to do all that I do at the highest level. Everything. I can’t do anything half-heartedly. (Perhaps only when I force myself to brush my teeth. I still hate that! But even the fact that I do it shows that I can not do anything half way. I must brush, because I must do my best.) I am not completely certain why. Perhaps my upbringing? My Dad is great at giving his best. Anything he does deserves his full attention and expertise and effort. He does things big every time. And he does them well. Maybe it’s just my personality? Could be. I am up later than everyone in my family most days (like I am right now!), and I am almost always the first to rise in the mornings. There’s just a lot to do! I’m not a work-a-holic… many times I am up reading, writing, or watching a show or playing a video game. But whatever I am doing… I am fully into it!
As I ponder this, I am fairly certain that there is no pride-driven agenda. Especially today. I was not trying to prove that I was better. Not to anyone else at least. I may have unintentionally been “proving” to myself on each possible play that I could “do it”.
I think this is a battle that each of us faces. It may not play out in everyone’s life as a sports challenge, or even appear on the surface like a drive to compete. But lately I have been noticing how much I compare myself to others. In my work as a web or graphic designer, I often see the work of others as superior to my own in a myriad of ways. I compare the way others react to our music and how I perceive similar reactions to the music of similar artists. I wonder sometimes if the stuff I produce is good enough, or ever will be. Thoughts like these plague me until I begin doubting every skill or ability I ever saw as a strength.
That’s when Spirit usually steps in and reminds me to get my focus off of me and place it again on Jesus. My worth is not in my performance. Paul reminds the Galatians of that in his letter to them, and Spirit reminds me on many occasions. (Mostly because I don’t seem to get it the first time, or even the twelfth time.) I do need those reminders to stabilize my erratic heart every once in a while.
We all do. Comparisons often lead to despair. A spiraling effect that turns reality upside down. We can convince ourselves that everyone else is better than us. At least I can. Even though I know that it is not true. In the moment, it can seem that way. And comparisons can begin to emerge from even the purest competition. Part of competition is inherently comparison. Competition pits the skills of one combatant against those of another. No matter what the challenge might be, whether kickball, basketball or even a sewing championship. (What? They probably have those somewhere…) 🙂 Competition is all about comparison.
When done in a healthy way, competition is fun! It’s exhilarating. It gets your juices flowing and helps us to improve any skills we may have in that area. Even if our only opponent is ourselves. But sometimes the opponent can begin to gain victory. Sometimes we begin to falter. I dare say, inevitably we WILL falter. That’s part of competing. Somehow in the moments when we do it is imperative to find some perspective. That can be so hard, but it’s essential. You will not always be successful, but it’s definitely something to strive for. Hold on to what matters, and keep a level head. Stop comparing yourself to others and just enjoy the challenge! And, *gasp!* … maybe even cheer on your opponent as their improved performance not only improves yours, but makes the game more fun!
There will always be someone who is better, stronger, faster, more accomplished, prettier, smarter, or even seem more popular. Always. But God made you to be who you are, and that’s awesome. Friendly competition breeds comparisons, but those are healthy when both parties realize the overall significance of those skills or achievements. They do not define who we are. Jesus has already done that.
“Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, everything he has belongs to you.”
Galatians 4:7
My eternal worth was not up for debate at our kickball game today, nor earlier this week as I measured my work against that of my peers. But that verse is always a good reminder, and a good anchor for a bigger picture in life.
So get out there and compete! Life’s full of great challenges!
Just, try not to make a mean face.