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Today I noticed again how much my four and two year olds love themselves. 🙂 It’s not narcissistic, or selfish. It’s not bad at all. They genuinely think that they are cool! My 4-yr old will pray for everyone in the family, saying how he loves them all, and then he’ll finish with himself. “And I love ME!” And my 2-yr old daughter this morning was just super excited that the answer to one of my questions was, “ME!!”
How cool is that. And how sad. I just thought of all the kids who not many years from two or four learn that not everyone loves them. Even worse, they learn that they are not “loveable”. They don’t fit. They aren’t good enough. They can’t keep up. They only make mistakes. They’re not wanted. They don’t belong. Sometimes, the measuring sticks are self-inflicted. No one else thinks they fall short, but in their hearts, they know they don’t measure up. And the joy of loving who God made us to be is lost.
There was a response today to a thread that I began at The God Journey forums that reminded me of this innocence that I saw in my kids earlier.
I don’t witness at all… however, I seem to be a magnet to certain people. These are the people I influence just by being me. I really like it that I can just be myself these days. There is no pressure to perform. I don’t have to save the world. Really… I don’t have to save one person. Truth be known… I’m incapable of saving even one person. So… being me is good enough. Amy is good enough. Gosh… that feels good to say that. I spent 40 years of my life unable to say that or believe it. Let me say it again… Amy is good enough. Whew!
It’s so easy to lose the child-like joy of being you. Whether from outside, or within. You figure out you just aren’t good enough. Lucky for us, God finds us wherever we end up in that journey into our fallenness, and he leads us out, at whatever pace we’re ready for. Bit by bit, he reveals the greatness we were created for. And the real you and me begin to be discovered. And eventually, on occasion, some of the enthusiasm of childhood returns.
And you can say gleefully with my little ones, “ME!!!!!” 🙂