Category / Personal

by Greg

Roots

tree_with_rootsDeep under the flourishing leaves, and the towers branches, and the succulent fruits which garner all the deserved and proper attention, are the roots.

Hidden roots spread far and wide, providing the foundation of what you see above the ground. The visible draws from its roots the beginnings of its life, mixed with the elements added to it above, producing that which we know and see and of which we partake.

This is not only a simple overview of the biological processes of flora—it’s also true of us.

This past week we spent many hours and days intentionally tapping into my roots. There were celebrations of decades of marriage and long decades of life. My mother’s oldest sister celebrated fifty years of marriage, and my father’s father celebrated ninety years of breathing the air of this planet. Both occasions worthy to note and commemorate.

As these were noteworthy events, they drew family from far and wide. Relatives from many branches of the tree assembled in one of the main roots. The branches now extend far across this country and the next, but just one, or two, or three generations back, all seem to find their roots in Southwestern Ohio.

And so that is where we gathered. At the root.

But it’s not just a place. The roots were remembered through stories and photos and more stories as we gathered in this place.

Stories of a grandpa that I really don’t know—he died when I was barely a teenager, and was mostly estranged from all of his family for much of my mother’s life.

Stories of a tall, kind, gentle great-grandpa—a cherished favorite of my oldest aunt. After hearing the stories, I would have loved to have met and known him, too.

Stories of current generations of family whom, because of geographic distance, we only see very infrequently. Learning of the lives they currently lead upon their various branches of the tree.

Stories of a distant, foreign land which was once my home. Different language, different culture, but part of my root system. And thankfully, plenty of time to enjoy tales from, and new friends from this part of my roots.

New Faces of those who also share this tree whom I have either not seen since my childhood, or some whom I have not ever met. Most of those gathering to celebrate the man who is father to my father completing nine decades of life.

Stories of relatives I only know as a concept. Not always positive stories. Life is messy.

But it is part of my root system.

What a week. So full of life, present and past. Embraces, laughs, even tears. Tapping nearly every root, drinking deeply of as much as we could soak up in seven short days.

And we are full. We leave refreshed, replenished.

And still wanting more.

Thankfully, this is not an end. Not yet. There will be an end. A turning of the page. And a new page beginning. New branches. New fruit.

But the same roots.

Today I am thankful for roots. And I want to know more. Explore different root systems. Deeper root systems. Even just look closer at those we tapped a bit this week.

And I’d encourage you to do the same. Perhaps you already do… but if you do not, please schedule a conversation, or even better, a trip … to know your roots.

What we are right now, today, is built upon our roots. Mixed with the conditions of our lives (sun, water, air, weather) but built on our roots.

And today, I am so grateful for a week of exploring my own.

by Greg

No Strings Attached

This was originally posted April 19th, 2010. It could easily have been posted in 2013, so I am re-posting it today. It continues the theme of how we interact, how we relate.

Speaking of which … off to the next visit! 🙂

I just need to get something off my chest.

I’ve been thinking about it for a while, following conversations and interactions with friends and acquaintances. I’ve also noticed it even more generally in our culture, the way we all interact with each other. I think it probably supersedes our culture, and is even more of a human nature issue.

But you need to know, I’m different.

I don’t really know why—oh, I’ve spent plenty of time thinking on that subject as well, to no avail… but this is not about how strange I am (at least, not really) it’s more about how I feel about you, in general—all I know is what I am about to tell you.

You don’t owe me anything.

When I do something for you*, I don’t expect you to reciprocate. (In any fashion, and certainly not in like manner. We are all different, after all…) If I make you a meal, I’m not looking for one in return. If I watch your kids while you get a break with your spouse, I am not keeping track of how many times you have done the same for me. If I help move something, or fix something at your house, I’m not expecting any sort of compensation or reciprocal manual labor.

I’m just not. 🙂

I think it’s our nature (and our experience) to expect there are strings attached, but I can say with complete honesty and certainty that there are never strings attached to anything I do. I am not trying to get anything from you. I have no expectations. Only, perhaps, that we might enjoy a bit of life together. (And continue to do so.)

I hope it’s OK that sometimes I project that on you. Sometimes it’s rather difficult for me to even think that you might entertain the thought that I have any level of expectations or requirements of you. That there are any obligatory social etiquette codes that I am presuming you will meet.

I’m just not. So relax. Enjoy any invitation I extend to you. Please accept and receive gratefully any gift or service I would offer to you. (But, I won’t be offended if you don’t, even if you don’t say, “Thank you.”)

I just want you to feel worth being loved.

See, we read in the new testament that, “We love because he first loved us.” And, I think in context that meant that we love God because he first loved us. But I think it also means that we can love each other because of how we have been loved. Not because it’s owed us, or in any way merited … other than the fact that we are loveable. We’re worth being loved, being treated kindly, being given gifts of any kind. Just because we are.

And that is how I see you.

I don’t need anything from you, except just to enjoy the no-strings-attached relationship. You can ask me for anything you need, and I’ll try to help you out. (I’ll also say no if I can’t, so don’t think that I’ll feel any obligation to say yes—or be in any way guilted into complying against my better judgement.)

Jen asked me this week how I “serve.” She said it seems like an important thing to a lot of believers, and she, having a notion of what that looks like—and we, not often looking like that notion—wondered what I thought about that, how I lived that out.

I was taken aback slightly as I just don’t ever think about it really. I guess I’m not in the soup kitchens on the weekend, nor going on short term mission trips to help erect or repair buildings. But I don’t feel like I am ever not serving. It’s just who I am. “Consider others better than yourselves,” is a phrase I repeat often to my children, hoping they will—through my further instruction—learn the value of esteeming others more than themselves. It’s what Jesus did, who he was and is.

It’s the heart of a servant.

So, I’m really not (in any way) trumpeting ME … rather I want you to know that if you have any personal interaction with me, I have absolutely no requirements of you. I love you. 🙂 I can say that because you are a Creation of the Creator and I know how much he loves you (because I know how much he loves me!)

I hope you’ll accept that from me, and enjoy being loved.

Whew! Glad I finally go that off my chest!

See y’all soon! 🙂

* Being self employed, and in many ways, gaining income from well… me (my services, talents, and abilities) it must be noted that sometimes I might “do something for you” and expect compensation. However, that is in the context of a business transaction, and would be understood up front. Of course I am only talking here about things we would do for a friend or neighbor (or even an enemy, I guess) … not a business transaction. 🙂

by Greg

A Visit to Young’s Jersey Dairy

Young's Jersey Dairy, Yellow Springs, OHJuly is National Ice Cream Month, so it only makes sense that part of the Campbell family July would include a visit to Young’s Jersey Dairy near Springfield, Ohio—our homeland for many generations back.

I remember visits to Young’s when I was a wee lad. It was much smaller then (as was I!) and it was mainly just an ice cream place. Now it’s a sprawling, multi-million dollar business!

There is a batting cage and miniature golf course, a full service restaurant, as well as the quick fried foods available with at the ice cream “stand”. (A very large “stand”… hard to still call it that!)

youngs-dairy-on-cows

They have a kids’ fun zone, with trailer rides, miniature tractors to ride, and all sorts of fun things. There is a gift shop with all kinds of goodies, Young’s-related and otherwise. Really, it’s quite amazing what this place has grown into!

But my favorite part is that they still have the place where you can visit the animals. They certainly have remained “small” while growing so large.

youngs-dairy-yummm

There are goats, and pigs, and sheep, as well as the cows of course. Only about thirty Jersey cows in total produce all of the Young’s Dairy products! (Ice cream and cheese and… milk? Not sure of the latter…)

youngs-dairy-inside

We visited on Monday and Tuesday of this week and were surprised by the number of people there with us. On a July Monday mid-afternoon, the place was packed! Tuesday was a bit better as it was raining all afternoon, but still quite busy—long lines for ice cream.

I, of course, had a scoop of one of my favorite flavors: White Chocolate Raspberry Swirl! (They have so many to choose from, but I always make sure to get some of that!)

And, as if all of this weren’t enough, somewhere in the last couple years, Young’s has begun selling Schuler’s donuts! Folks, it seriously doesn’t get better than that! And, likely anyone from Springfield can confirm that!

youngs-dairy-girls

It’s fun to visit the places of your childhood. In fact, while we were visiting my childhood ice cream place, we also drove past the house where I grew up. It was neat to show my kids the actual buildings and locations while telling them the earliest stories I can recall.

Do you enjoy going back to your childhood favorites? How often are you able to revisit those places from your past?

For me, we get to Young’s at least once every year. (And Schuler’s Bakery of course, too!)

It’s fun to stay connected to your childhood. Keeps you feeling … Young?

youngs-dairy-boys

by Greg

Independence Day

declaration-of-independenceIt’s hard to appreciate independence as an American in the 21st century.

We are still benefitting today—July 4th, 2013—from the courage and bravery of a people whose chosen leaders pledged their “lives, [their] fortunes, and [their] sacred honor” two hundred and thirty-seven years ago. Well over two centuries of time has passed since that particular July 4th.

(Actually, it was July 2nd, but that’s not really the point here…)

Today we live in the freedom that they fought for, and were successful in gaining.

The founders knew the value of freedom, even though they all had grown up in a culture where human slavery was an open practice for two centuries before their birth! Many of them opposed it strongly and spoke out often against it, including Thomas Jefferson, who tried to introduce a bill into the Virginia legislature to abolish slavery.

(Please read this article, The Founding Fathers and Slavery. It’s full of information that is frequently omitted from discussions about the country’s founding and the obvious paradox of the institution of slavery continuing for nearly another century more.)

They knew and understood that freedom—for all—was an essential, foundational right, given to every individual person created by God.

That is worth fighting for. And it’s worth preserving.

Listen to this, from John Quincy Adams (known as the “hell-hound” of abolition):

The inconsistency of the institution of domestic slavery with the principles of the Declaration of Independence was seen and lamented by all the southern patriots of the Revolution; by no one with deeper and more unalterable conviction than by the author of the Declaration himself [Jefferson]. No charge of insincerity or hypocrisy can be fairly laid to their charge. Never from their lips was heard one syllable of attempt to justify the institution of slavery. They universally considered it as a reproach fastened upon them by the unnatural step-mother country [Great Britain] and they saw that before the principles of the Declaration of Independence, slavery, in common with every other mode of oppression, was destined sooner or later to be banished from the earth. Such was the undoubting conviction of Jefferson to his dying day. In the Memoir of His Life, written at the age of seventy-seven, he gave to his countrymen the solemn and emphatic warning that the day was not distant when they must hear and adopt the general emancipation of their slaves.

Wow. That’s pretty clear. (I added the emphasis you saw above.) Adams said they were “universally” against it, with Jefferson being foremost in that “undoubting conviction”.

Because they knew freedom was so essential.

We the People of the Unites States of America have been traveling down a path towards much LESS freedom for generations now. It’s a pattern in human history; certainly we should be no different. Or maybe we should?

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature’s God entitles them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly, all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government and to provide new guards for their future security.

Today, the Campbells will be reading the Declaration together, again. (It has become a family tradition to celebrate the Fourth of July.) And we will discuss the courage of the founders to stand against those who tried to suppress their inalienable rights, beginning with freedom.

(We also plan to read today from a book called For You They Signed, detailing the lives of all the signers of the Declaration.)

The 4th of July is not about fireworks. The meaning behind our holidays often are lost after only a short time of the annual commemorations.

We must not lose this one.

We are created free, and equal, and are meant to have the unconstrained rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Celebrate today what those men stood for, fought for, and many did die for: your freedom.

And thank God today that you were born here, when we were free. Not all can say that.

Happy Independence Day!

If you’d like to read more about slavery and the attempts in the 18th century to do away with it, I so highly recommend starting here (and then here), and then reading the book about William Wilberforce that that post is in reference too.

by Greg

DOMA Arigato

Defense of Marriage Act, section 3 ruled unconstitutionalJust about a week ago, the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) was in the news for two rulings in regards to same-sex marriages. One was specific to California (Proposition 8), and I won’t address that here, but the first was regarding a case challenging the constitutionality of section three (§3) of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

In a 5-4 decision, the SCOTUS ruled that §3 of DOMA was indeed unconstitutional, based on the protections guaranteed by the Fifth Amendment. (The Full Faith and Credit clause.)

And so, what began as a not very good idea continues to crumble.

Background

In 1996, Congress rushed through (with great approval, based on the votes) the Defense of Marriage Act. It was signed into law by President Bill Clinton—who at that time personally, publicly opposed gay marriage, in addition to his belief that it should not be sanctioned by the Federal government—and ever since then, DOMA has been challenged by one court case after another, slowly eroding its frail constitutional structure.

And really, I agree with this ruling.

I do not agree with same-sex marriage. I think God was pretty clear (stick with me here) speaking strictly anatomically, that there is a proper “match” between a man and a woman. The physical is obvious. And then there is the story of Adam & Eve: when God made a partner for Adam, he made Eve. (Not “Steve”.. haha!! Good one!!!) 🙂

And, the other obvious reason for a marriage to be between one man and one woman for life is procreation. You can’t actually have kids without both sexes being involved. Are you with me?

Now, I know there are seemingly a billion nuances to this. There’s one side yelling, “Homosexuality is a SIN! God hates fags!!!” And then the other side—properly and rightly offended—begins to hate the God whom these “Righteous Ones” claim to represent. And the former dig deep into the scriptures to sling judgmental condemnations straight from the Mouth of God upon these forlorn, wayward, despicable sinners! (Meanwhile ignoring their own filthy rags, and/or logs in their eyes, etc.)

The debate about what is right and what is wrong will never, ever get us anywhere.

So, if we’re arguing from the Bible, let’s take a look at Jesus. He is the final, fullest revelation of the Father, right? So, Jesus must have said plenty of times that he hated homosexuality (and then, it stands to reason, he hated homosexuals too, right?)—AND he hated, opposed, campaigned against gay marriage. Of course.

Right?

But… I don’t think Jesus ever addressed homosexuality? Weird.

Does that mean it is not a “sin”? No. Does it mean it’s “right”? Still, no. (In fact, logically you can’t presume something is “right” from the absence of a declaration of it being “wrong”, can you?)

Liberty is Paramount

What I think it does show us is the first way that we can deal with this issue.

Back off. Love people. “He who is without sin cast the first stone.”

We are not the police of anyone. (Unless of course you are a police officer, and then, well, we thank you for your service.)

It’s not my job to tell you—or as is the pattern of some—to make you do what I think you should do. If you want to marry someone who has the same body parts as you, well, I personally can not “sanction” that, but, I do sanction your right to choose differently than me.

And I expect you to do the same for me.

This is the crux of the whole thing for me: Liberty. It’s not a moral issue, though of course underneath the minutia of all these cases, and legal and political battles it has moral implications.

It’s an issue of liberty. And not only that of the people wanting to legalize same-sex unions.

I may strongly disagree with you, but inherent in my understanding of liberty is your liberty. You are entitled to live your life however you please, so long as no one else is hurt (without their full, willing consent) in the process. We are all guaranteed these inalienable rights: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

Even if it’s “wrong”, or even if it might hurt us. (Larger portions at fast food restaurants? Smoking? Drinking? Marijuana? Driving without seat belts? Riding bikes without helmets?)

We have become a people who no longer celebrate diversity, and we are increasing the pace toward total control over everyone’s lives.

Equality? Or Victory?

The cry from those who want to legalize same-sex marriages at the Federal level—thus requiring all States to abide by this legal status, whether or not they sanction such unions—is that of “equal rights”. But what is happening is really just an attempt to gain control, and force others to do what you think they should do. One group telling another how they can and will act. Bakeries have to make wedding cakes, and churches will be forced to perform same-sex marriages1.

The bottom line is: if you want freedom, then you must also give freedom.

You can have freedom, and the consequences of freedom, and you must concurrently and equally allow others to think and live differently than you. There are obviously places where these freedoms intersect, and at that point a society must decide how to resolve such disputes. That is what our Constitution (and the government it created) allow for.

I am opposed to gay marriage. But I am even more opposed to legislating any bit of this. In fact, I’m all for unlegislating marriage altogether. I love being married to Jen—it’s maybe the most important piece of who I am after being a child of God. Do I care that New York State “recognizes” my marriage? Not really at all.

Much of this fight is because of tax penalties (including the case that brought about last Wednesday’s ruling) and legalization of immigrants, and other financial/taxation concerns. So drop them, as much as possible. Don’t tax money bequeathed to a loved one. Don’t provide financial benefits to married couples.2

Just leave me be.

Legislating Morality

I agree with the Supreme Court that defining marriage is unconstitutional, but not because it violates the constitution as much as because the federal government has no place defining marriage in the first place. Traditional marriage, or same-sex marriage, or multiple concurrent marriages, or polygamy, etc, etc.

Some seem to see government as the protector of morality, but is that really our government’s role? I heard a statement in regards to this subject on a podcast just this morning:

“It’s the government’s job to treat [marriage with] equal[ity], it’s not the government’s job to make moral choices for people.”3

Spot on.

Stop thinking that you can pass laws and make people into what you want them to be.

Laws do not shape people’s minds and hearts. Education, the Holy Spirit, and in general, a caring instructor will do that. (As well as common sense and life experience; those can be the best teachers sometimes.)

You can’t say “Gay marriage is legal and approved!” and change people’s beliefs by that statement. Nor do we conform people to “right thinking” by saying, “Gay marriage is abhorrent and banned!!!”

It just doesn’t work that way. The morality of our laws and government reflect who we are, the do not make us who we are. In addition, our laws are about blind justice (not preferential prejudice) and equality, for all.

God made us free. Our Founders recognized that. We are born with the right to choose, and our government is We the People, protecting each other’s inalienable rights. I’m still going to disagree on the specifics regarding gay marriage, but that’s my inalienable right. And yours.

And that is what we most need to protect here.

It’s not “hate” to say that homosexuality is a sin. (Nor is it usually very helpful, in a public setting.) It is encroaching on freedom to say that someone can’t think that, or even express that.

(Again, it may not be helpful, but let truth be truth. If you say homosexuality is not a choice, but as natural as different skin or hair colors, then let that be true. Don’t force it on someone who strongly disagrees.)

But that’s where we fall sadly short. We are supposed to be the Land of the Free, but we really want to be free to make other people like me.

How sad. We’re meant to be more.

Love mercy, do justly, walk humbly with your God

So let’s be. Love your neighbor—whatever they believe. Find common ground, even if there’s barely any to be found. Stop trying to make other people think like you do!

And most of all, pray. Not for God to change other people, but so your eyes will be opened to what he is doing. First in you, and then around you.

I think it’s good that DOMA is being questioned. DOMA arigato, SCOTUS. Hopefully that means there is a semblance of constitutuional liberty still present in our bloated, overreaching federal government.

And now we proceed with liberty our goal. And justice for all.

True justice, not petty political victory.

May God help us as we do.

sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_of_Marriage_Act
http://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/12pdf/12-307_6j37.pdf

  1. Note, I realize this is in Denmark, but this mentality is being championed here in the US. When we make the gay view the “right” view, the same errors in how we treat each other will inevitably be carried out, just in the reverse. ↩
  2. I’m sure there is much more here than I even have time to consider, but the general principle makes sense to me. Less government is better government! ↩
  3. Wayne Jacobsen, The God Journey Podcast – Sexuality & Transformation (6/28/13) ↩
by Greg

Quiet

Lake Tahoe - Calm Water

It’s amazing what a little ‘R & R’ can do for a body.

And I don’t just mean one’s physical body.

For a good while now I’ve been feeling as though I am running on empty—nearly all the time, every day. That’s obviously not a great way to exist (nor, even more obviously, to thrive) and thus I have endeavored to adjust my daily schedule, plan for downtime, and just attempt to find any solution to the constant feeling of at-wits-end.

On Sunday morning, Jen had a plan. She offered to let me have a relaxing day—alone—to read, write, do whatever I wanted to do, free of any responsibilities that I might normally have. I hesitated only briefly, and then gratefully accepted her offer. She did, after all, offer… and, although she doesn’t prefer taking trips out (especially all day) with all six kids, she was in possession this day of a definitive plan. That always helps.

And so, I helped prepare the troops for departure, and then waved goodbye in the late morning hours, looking forward to whatever my quiet day might bring.

I’d like to say that I plopped right down in my favorite reading chair and spent the next many hours devouring one or more of my currently in-progress books, stopping only to empty my bladder or refill my cup of tea—but that’s not exactly what happened.

I started a load of laundry, then I went through my inbox, knowing there were a few messages to tend to. I did few maintenance tasks for my blog’s Facebook and (new) Twitter accounts, and I finally did sit down with a book.

But then I was a bit hungry after not much reading, so… I went and switched the laundry, starting a new load, prepared a small lunch, and after finishing that, headed back to my reading chair.

After that, when I tried to refill my mug, I noticed that my water was all gone—so, back downstairs to refill the large bottle on my water dispenser (which meant I also had a chance to stick in another load of laundry)… and this time I was actually quickly back into the world of my selected current read.

And then I noticed it.

You know when your phone’s battery is completely drained, and it even shuts down to preserve itself until you can connect it to a power source, and then it actually take a while before it can even come back online to show you that you have almost no battery power?

I think I was kind of like that.

So even though I wasn’t doing a very good job of only resting, I was alone, and quiet.

And it was working.

The funniest thing that I noticed was, after finishing up another chapter, my mind wandered—happily this time—to thoughts of tending to our garden, or mowing our yard while listening to an episode of a podcast I enjoy.

I even sat down at the piano and began playing a new song, apparently flowing from the energy that had been renewed in me.

I was back online, and my battery indicator had finally entered the green stage.

And I remembered the several times that the gospel writers mentioned Jesus’ habit of slipping away to be alone, to recharge:

But Jesus would often go to some place where he could be alone and pray. Luke 5:16 CEV

Then Jesus went into a house to get away from the crowd… Mark 7:17

With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night. Matthew 14:23 MSG

If Jesus knew the value of being alone—and especially with the purpose of reconnecting with Father—how silly of us to not make this a priority in our lives, too.

Sometimes it’s so hard, though. Being the parent of many children is certainly one of those times. They need you, as does your spouse. And it’s a joy to serve them.

But you aren’t you when you’re worn out, tired, not rested—when you’ve not taken intentional time to rest and be quiet.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

I have been rising early to go for a two-mile walk four or five days per week. That’s a half hour or so, usually, of quiet, alone time. And I am mostly “alone” when I am working, but there are other demands on me there, obviously.

One might say my easily recognized rejuvenation in just a few hours of quiet today reveals that in order to be more “me”… quiet and alone need to be on my schedule at some point.

And with God’s help—and Jen’s—so shall it be. 🙂

by Greg

Jen

Yesterday was not a great day. There was not any one particular reason for it being “not great”; or maybe there are too many to bother with detailed listing.

After all the children were in their beds, I grabbed a book and collapsed in my own bed, allowing the story to distract my mind and heart from all it had toiled over throughout the day.

Not too much later, Jen arrived in our room and asked how I was doing. We talked a bit (which I usually do love) and she shortly thereafter climbed into bed (clumb? clambed?) with me and just gently placed her arm on my shoulder and back, tenderly caressing while she read her own book.

In those moments, and even throughout the day as Jen expressed her concern for me, I was so well aware of how much I love her, and how much I love our life together.

I am so thankful for my Jen.

greg-jen-now

Now, please don’t get me wrong… our life is full of hurt, and disappointment, and misunderstandings, and brokenness, and even pride and selfishness and uglinesses of that sort. Jen is not perfect. Nor am I.

But in the midst of a day with six children to care for, much less of their father helping, and the rest of life to deal with, Jen repeatedly took time to care for me.

You may not realize this, but, being the home schooling mom (or, just… the mom!) to six young people is what some could rightly call and “arduous task”. Not that it’s bad, nor that she’d choose to do anything other than that. But, it’s plenty taxing.

greg-jen-thenSo many long years ago, I got to know this beautiful young woman named Jen, and I loved being with her. The sweetness and depth of her spirit, the glow of her smile, the rich sounds of her frequent laughter, and even then, feeling like she cared about me. She’s quite a good listener. Always has been.

Life has thrown its punches at us, at her. And the amazing thing is, even though we can’t even really count the number of knockdowns anymore, she just keeps getting back up; she keeps pressing on.

I love her. I just wanted to say that here, out loud.

We’ve known each other for a little over twenty years. We’ll be married for sixteen of those this coming October. Not being omniscient, I can’t know how many more we’ll get to enjoy together—maybe fifty, like my aunt and uncle are now celebrating… or sixty-seven like my grandparents celebrated in April? 100?—but however many it may be, I am so glad that God decided to bring Jen to me.

And he brought her to the man. —Genesis 2:22

I love you, Jen.

by Greg

Opposite World

I’m different. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

I know we’re all unique. (And since unique means ‘one of a kind’, well then, how can there be a ‘different’—since there is no ‘normal’, nor ‘standard’?)

But I’m really different.

It’s quite nearly every single thing that could possible be ‘different’.

Allow me to list a few examples:

  • I love cold and dark weather.
  • The contents of my pockets are opposite from most everyone else I know.
  • I drink tea, not coffee.
  • All alcohol is offensive to me. (Aside from rubbing alcohol, I suppose…)
  • I tend to fit the female “profile” more than the male (too many ways to list in this format)
  • I prefer books over movies.
  • I like audio over video.
  • I don’t even get “fads” or “trends” (especially in clothes, but really in all things)
  • I home school my kids.
  • I am in Jesus, and his church, but I do not align myself with any “named” organization you’d think of as “church”.
  • I don’t vote any party line.
  • I can’t be not real. I think “can’t” might actually be accurate.
  • I really care nothing for money.
  • I also care nothing for fame. (In fact, I’d rather not have any particular attention paid to me.)

I’m not completely a freak. I mean… I do like NHL hockey (there are a handful of people who are in that boat with me), I have a Facebook account (again, not in the minority there), and I’m a huge Buffalo Bills fan.

Oh yeah… that one should probably go in that list above… 🙂

SO, I am not sure why God decided to make me his prime example of the Opposite World, but there must be some design in it. He calls me (along with all of you) his “masterpiece”, so …

The good thing is, it kinda matches Jesus.

The greatest of all is the servant of all? Lose your life to gain it? Turn the other cheek? He who is without sin cast the first stone?

Yeah. That kind of opposite.

Maybe we’re meant to be at least a little opposite. Are there ways you feel “opposite”, or backwards, or different, or strangely unique? If not … are there ways you wish you were, and are just afraid of what other people might think if they knew you were “strangely unique”?

Jesus didn’t seem to care about what other people thought of him.

Except one time.

His disciples were telling him that people were talking about him. They were saying he was the reincarnation of their favorite prophet, looking for some way to label him.

Jesus probably nodded, taking in what they were saying, and then he turned their story back to them with a simple question: “Who do you say that I am?”

Maybe in that question we can hear that it doesn’t really matter what other people think. It matters what you think.

God definitely made me “different”. But you are, too. You are unique. There’s something about you that he loves more than any of his other creations.

It’s the “you” part.

I’d wager I’m not the only one living in Opposite World. For some reason it frequently becomes obvious just how blatantly opposite I am, but I know I’m not alone.

In whatever way you are you … be that. Live it. Enjoy it.

There’s always plenty of room here in Opposite World!

by Greg

Allowing For The Process

seedling

Sometimes I’m really, really impatient. Also short-sighted, selfish, and in general unwilling to let others—even those I love the most—enjoy the blessings that I have received and thrived upon throughout my life.

Yikes. That really doesn’t sound good!

But it’s (in a way) really true.

God is reminding me recently that he is patient beyond comprehension. He understands the various processes of life. Learning, growing, grieving, maturing… many “ing”s take time. Lots of time.

And at times, I think I’d prefer we skip to the good part: the end!

But everything worthwhile takes time. You can’t have the delicious, sun-ripened fruit without many weeks of heat and quiet toil. You don’t get the good end without the process.

Our lives are like that. It’s always amazing to look back and see what God has brought us through, and where he’s brought us to through all of those things. We learn from our own decisions and their consequences, and we learn from events we’re thrown into in the chaos of life (through no fault or credit of our own). Everything along the way shapes who we are.

Parenting is like that. As a dad, I can not just shape my kids into who they will be. I thinkI do have a good deal of influence, but in the end, each of my kids is a unique individual, created by God for a life-long journey with him. Their own life-long journey.

Sometimes I tire of repeating the same instructions to each of my kids… many times, daily. I wish they would just get it! Think of someone besides yourself! Be a peacemaker! Be kind to your brother/sister! Will you please just listen to what I say?

But it’s a process. A long, slow process.

Just like I have been allowed to have.

I’m far from a perfect parent. That’s for sure. I am going to need to receive many reminders that I am not the Potter in my kids’ lives. I am not the one moulding them into the masterpiece they were made to be.

My father is. (No, not you Dad… I mean your father, too. No… not Grandpa…)

Each of us has a journey, and we’re each led (personally, individually) by our Maker, Shepherd, Father… he’s many things, he’s everything.

And he’s got a plan.

If you’re frustrated with the process right now, just take a deep breath. Talk to the One you’re following and enjoy the place, the moment that he has you in.

Then—even more difficult sometimes—do the same for the people around you. Maybe your kids, or your spouse. Maybe just a good friend of yours. Stop meddling. Leave room for the process, and the Sculptor.

Allowing for the process will produce the greatest results. (I’m not even sure there’s anything else we can do, really! We are not the ones in control, that’s for sure!)

So breathe. Relax. And marvel at the process. In your own life, and also in the lives of the people around you.

Maybe another place to find the fun!

by Greg

Find The Fun

fun-kids

I am an optimist. I tend to pretty easily see the good, or the potential good in nearly every situation and circumstance. I am generally also very trusting of others—their motives, agendas (or lack thereof), and actions—which seems to stem from my general outlook on life.

Was I born this way? I don’t know. Sometimes my wife thinks that I am.

Jen is the opposite. She is very critical, cautious, judicious, and very distrusting of most people; especially people she doesn’t know.

You might call us a good match: the Optimist and the Pessimist. She keeps us out of trouble and I help keep life more fun.

So if this is just a matter of our genetic code, what do we do with verses like this one?

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

There are a few others. (Check out Colossians and Philippians.) Always be joyful? Be thankful in all circumstances?

Sounds pretty optimistic.

So is pessimism a “sin”? How about when I described it as I did above: critical, cautious, judicious? Those are not bad things; not sins.

When the younger people in our home start grumbling more than they are not grumbling, I can often trace it back to some ingratitude in their hearts. Somehow they are not able to see the potential in a situation, or be thankful for the good that is there—that is always there.

So I remind them of the truth of these verses. I don’t see them as commands coming down from an oppressive ruler. Rather, I think they are reminders that to live life fully—a desire Jesus expressly stated he has for us—we will do better to look for the good, to be joyful, be thankful.

A couple weeks ago I was saying these things to the kids again and I used the phrase “find the fun”. That seems appropriate. If you find yourself beginning to grumble or complain, then intentionally look for the fun.

You’re a smart person! You can do it! Take a breath, ignore anything that’s bad, and focus your mind and heart on something good. (Even if the “good” is that your current situation is only temporary!)

Find the fun.

Since it’s repeated in scripture multiple times, I’m guessing that practicing optimism is not only an innate personality found in a portion of the population. It would seem odd that if God made some of us to be pessimists—incapable of “finding the fun”—then he wouldn’t have admonished us to be joyful or thankful always.

There must be something there that makes all of our lives better.

So today I admonish you to find the fun. Go ahead, do it right now. There’s something today, something right now that is a knock-your-socks-off kinda good. You might be separated from it by geographic space or time (maybe it’s a person you love, or something you need to wait for right now) … but it’s still good. It’s still fun.

And your heart will be lighter. Your day will be brighter.

You found the fun.

May your day be full of fun. It’s out there, waiting to be found!