Tag / Human Nature

by Greg

No Strings Attached

This was originally posted April 19th, 2010. It could easily have been posted in 2013, so I am re-posting it today. It continues the theme of how we interact, how we relate.

Speaking of which … off to the next visit! 🙂

I just need to get something off my chest.

I’ve been thinking about it for a while, following conversations and interactions with friends and acquaintances. I’ve also noticed it even more generally in our culture, the way we all interact with each other. I think it probably supersedes our culture, and is even more of a human nature issue.

But you need to know, I’m different.

I don’t really know why—oh, I’ve spent plenty of time thinking on that subject as well, to no avail… but this is not about how strange I am (at least, not really) it’s more about how I feel about you, in general—all I know is what I am about to tell you.

You don’t owe me anything.

When I do something for you*, I don’t expect you to reciprocate. (In any fashion, and certainly not in like manner. We are all different, after all…) If I make you a meal, I’m not looking for one in return. If I watch your kids while you get a break with your spouse, I am not keeping track of how many times you have done the same for me. If I help move something, or fix something at your house, I’m not expecting any sort of compensation or reciprocal manual labor.

I’m just not. 🙂

I think it’s our nature (and our experience) to expect there are strings attached, but I can say with complete honesty and certainty that there are never strings attached to anything I do. I am not trying to get anything from you. I have no expectations. Only, perhaps, that we might enjoy a bit of life together. (And continue to do so.)

I hope it’s OK that sometimes I project that on you. Sometimes it’s rather difficult for me to even think that you might entertain the thought that I have any level of expectations or requirements of you. That there are any obligatory social etiquette codes that I am presuming you will meet.

I’m just not. So relax. Enjoy any invitation I extend to you. Please accept and receive gratefully any gift or service I would offer to you. (But, I won’t be offended if you don’t, even if you don’t say, “Thank you.”)

I just want you to feel worth being loved.

See, we read in the new testament that, “We love because he first loved us.” And, I think in context that meant that we love God because he first loved us. But I think it also means that we can love each other because of how we have been loved. Not because it’s owed us, or in any way merited … other than the fact that we are loveable. We’re worth being loved, being treated kindly, being given gifts of any kind. Just because we are.

And that is how I see you.

I don’t need anything from you, except just to enjoy the no-strings-attached relationship. You can ask me for anything you need, and I’ll try to help you out. (I’ll also say no if I can’t, so don’t think that I’ll feel any obligation to say yes—or be in any way guilted into complying against my better judgement.)

Jen asked me this week how I “serve.” She said it seems like an important thing to a lot of believers, and she, having a notion of what that looks like—and we, not often looking like that notion—wondered what I thought about that, how I lived that out.

I was taken aback slightly as I just don’t ever think about it really. I guess I’m not in the soup kitchens on the weekend, nor going on short term mission trips to help erect or repair buildings. But I don’t feel like I am ever not serving. It’s just who I am. “Consider others better than yourselves,” is a phrase I repeat often to my children, hoping they will—through my further instruction—learn the value of esteeming others more than themselves. It’s what Jesus did, who he was and is.

It’s the heart of a servant.

So, I’m really not (in any way) trumpeting ME … rather I want you to know that if you have any personal interaction with me, I have absolutely no requirements of you. I love you. 🙂 I can say that because you are a Creation of the Creator and I know how much he loves you (because I know how much he loves me!)

I hope you’ll accept that from me, and enjoy being loved.

Whew! Glad I finally go that off my chest!

See y’all soon! 🙂

* Being self employed, and in many ways, gaining income from well… me (my services, talents, and abilities) it must be noted that sometimes I might “do something for you” and expect compensation. However, that is in the context of a business transaction, and would be understood up front. Of course I am only talking here about things we would do for a friend or neighbor (or even an enemy, I guess) … not a business transaction. 🙂

by Greg

[From The Archive] Relating

Highlighting Articles from the GregsHead.net Archives!Our recent visit to Ohio for some big family events has given us the opportunity for some great visiting time with relatives and friends we haven’t seen for a long while—some a very long while! Those visits often include shared meals, certainly include sharing stories, and have also included some great conversations about the things God is doing in and around us.

One thing that seems to keep coming up is the way that we people (maybe especially Christians) related to each other; how we “do life” together.

That led me to this re-post today.

It’s a post from January of 2012. And it’s interesting that at the end I say I will continue thinking about this, and looking for what Jesus wants to show me regarding how we relate to each other, and I must admit, I don’t know that I know any more now than I did then! 🙂

Good questions, good thoughts on how our culture (and perhaps others) are often too busy to relate, too busy to enjoy visiting and really doing life together. Not just events and weekly scheduled things, but really sharing your life with others, and theirs with you.

Please enjoy, ponder, and discuss with me:

Relating

cam-emma-blue-small

Question: The reason I post these “From The Archive” posts is that I think the post from years past is worth reading (or even re-reading) and/or currently relevant. But you have to click through and read it. 🙂 Would it be better if I posted the whole of the article/post again, rather than linking to it? In this case, there are already some comments to add to what I had written, which I’d love to just build on. If you have thoughts on how to re-post articles, please comment on that here below. Thanks!

by Greg

Independence Day

declaration-of-independenceIt’s hard to appreciate independence as an American in the 21st century.

We are still benefitting today—July 4th, 2013—from the courage and bravery of a people whose chosen leaders pledged their “lives, [their] fortunes, and [their] sacred honor” two hundred and thirty-seven years ago. Well over two centuries of time has passed since that particular July 4th.

(Actually, it was July 2nd, but that’s not really the point here…)

Today we live in the freedom that they fought for, and were successful in gaining.

The founders knew the value of freedom, even though they all had grown up in a culture where human slavery was an open practice for two centuries before their birth! Many of them opposed it strongly and spoke out often against it, including Thomas Jefferson, who tried to introduce a bill into the Virginia legislature to abolish slavery.

(Please read this article, The Founding Fathers and Slavery. It’s full of information that is frequently omitted from discussions about the country’s founding and the obvious paradox of the institution of slavery continuing for nearly another century more.)

They knew and understood that freedom—for all—was an essential, foundational right, given to every individual person created by God.

That is worth fighting for. And it’s worth preserving.

Listen to this, from John Quincy Adams (known as the “hell-hound” of abolition):

The inconsistency of the institution of domestic slavery with the principles of the Declaration of Independence was seen and lamented by all the southern patriots of the Revolution; by no one with deeper and more unalterable conviction than by the author of the Declaration himself [Jefferson]. No charge of insincerity or hypocrisy can be fairly laid to their charge. Never from their lips was heard one syllable of attempt to justify the institution of slavery. They universally considered it as a reproach fastened upon them by the unnatural step-mother country [Great Britain] and they saw that before the principles of the Declaration of Independence, slavery, in common with every other mode of oppression, was destined sooner or later to be banished from the earth. Such was the undoubting conviction of Jefferson to his dying day. In the Memoir of His Life, written at the age of seventy-seven, he gave to his countrymen the solemn and emphatic warning that the day was not distant when they must hear and adopt the general emancipation of their slaves.

Wow. That’s pretty clear. (I added the emphasis you saw above.) Adams said they were “universally” against it, with Jefferson being foremost in that “undoubting conviction”.

Because they knew freedom was so essential.

We the People of the Unites States of America have been traveling down a path towards much LESS freedom for generations now. It’s a pattern in human history; certainly we should be no different. Or maybe we should?

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature’s God entitles them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly, all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government and to provide new guards for their future security.

Today, the Campbells will be reading the Declaration together, again. (It has become a family tradition to celebrate the Fourth of July.) And we will discuss the courage of the founders to stand against those who tried to suppress their inalienable rights, beginning with freedom.

(We also plan to read today from a book called For You They Signed, detailing the lives of all the signers of the Declaration.)

The 4th of July is not about fireworks. The meaning behind our holidays often are lost after only a short time of the annual commemorations.

We must not lose this one.

We are created free, and equal, and are meant to have the unconstrained rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Celebrate today what those men stood for, fought for, and many did die for: your freedom.

And thank God today that you were born here, when we were free. Not all can say that.

Happy Independence Day!

If you’d like to read more about slavery and the attempts in the 18th century to do away with it, I so highly recommend starting here (and then here), and then reading the book about William Wilberforce that that post is in reference too.

by Greg

An Open Letter Apology from the Church

church buildingNot that I have any real force behind this open letter to every person on the planet, but it’s what’s on my heart today. For so long, those who claim to know and live for God have been such a harmful representation of him (myself included) that many people wrongly dismiss their rightful place as a beloved, treasured son or daughter of the Creator of the universe.

Toward remedying that, I’d like to state the following:

To the people of planet Earth:

  • We, the church of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, must humbly ask your forgiveness for our self-righteous arrogance. Although we have known that there is freedom in Christ (for all), we have not partaken of this ourselves, nor do we offer it to anyone else—Christian brother or sister, nor our neighbors who do not identify with Jesus. Instead, we continue in the delusion that when we have general success over one temptation toward self gratification (or, sin) then we can claim righteousness of our own doing, setting ourselves apart from all others, and then condemning them for their inability to control their own unrighteousness and sinfulness—despite our own failures in so many other areas of our own lives, including the areas over which we presume mastery.
  • Likewise, we ask your forgiveness for proudly condemning sinfulness in you—again, despite knowing our own sinfulness, and either willingly ignoring it, or dismissing it as “not as bad as yours”. We know that Jesus said he did not come to condemn the world, but to save it, and that he wants for us to have life abundantly. That is not exclusive to existing “club” members, but an offer to each of us who breathe this air. Equally, and unconditionally. God does not show favoritism.
  • We humbly ask you to forgive our hard-line stance on doctrines, which have caused divisions even amongst ourselves for centuries and centuries. Jesus said that we would be known by our love—first for fellow believers, then for all others—and we have mostly been a disastrous example of that, only putting our agendas and doctrines and “rightness” ahead of love for each other, and love for you. Divisiveness fueled by lust for power, selfish ambition, as well as hatred and envy, and again the ever-present, horribly ugly self-righteousness we constantly wear. Please forgive us for loving right doctrine more than loving our neighbors.
  • We, the church, ask you to forgive us for not acknowledging that our true citizenship is not of one earthly nation, nor even of this temporary mortal existence, and in such a state of willful ignorance, repeatedly indulging the lusts of our flesh: pride, materialism and greed, and gluttonies of many kinds—all while mostly living as uninvolved, presumably “unaffected” bystanders, offering to “pray for” anyone in need (more often than actually getting into the mess of hurt and suffering in which many of our neighbors find themselves every day). Please forgive our inactions to this point, and while we know that we can’t make right every wrong in a broken world, we want to live each moment remembering the grace we’ve been extended, and extend that to you, our fellow human beings.
  • We also ask you to forgive the many times our desire to own the only truth has hurt you. Words, once uttered, can not be rescinded. Actions may even be harder to take back. In humility, understanding that we are no better than anyone else, we ask for your forgiveness and wish to restore with you a relationship like Jesus had with all of those with whom he interacted—who would receive him: one of kindness, acceptance, gentleness, no agenda, no desire to control or demand to conform, and no thought to the “reputation” of the person with whom he abided.

May His True Kingdom come.

Grace and Mercy, and the fullness of Jesus Love and Peace we extend to you,
—The Church, Jesus’ beloved bride

The saddest thing is, if we (the church) would simply acknowledge our own imperfection, brokenness, and that we are all created equal (meaning God does not show favoritism, making any of us better by birth than anyone else on the planet) then the Gospel would not be so readily and widely dismissed.

Now, I am not naive (at least, not entirely) … I realize that since God has given us the ability to choose, even if the church were the perfect messenger—being humble, acknowledging imperfection, and only extending grace, mercy, and love and justice to all—every last person on the planet still must choose to believe that God exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him (because He wants to, and he invites us to trust him with all that we are, all he has given us). AND, there most certainly is evil in the world. And sin.

And so, there will always be brokenness.

We, the church are broken individuals, and a sadly broken Body. We are made whole in Christ, but as we remain in this world, cursed in sin, we do not yet enjoy the fullness of that wholeness.

But we can endeavor to simply do what is just, love mercy, and walk each step with God in palpable, real humility.

If that were so, fellow Pale Blue Dot dweller, we would know a very different world.

by Greg

DOMA Arigato

Defense of Marriage Act, section 3 ruled unconstitutionalJust about a week ago, the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) was in the news for two rulings in regards to same-sex marriages. One was specific to California (Proposition 8), and I won’t address that here, but the first was regarding a case challenging the constitutionality of section three (§3) of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

In a 5-4 decision, the SCOTUS ruled that §3 of DOMA was indeed unconstitutional, based on the protections guaranteed by the Fifth Amendment. (The Full Faith and Credit clause.)

And so, what began as a not very good idea continues to crumble.

Background

In 1996, Congress rushed through (with great approval, based on the votes) the Defense of Marriage Act. It was signed into law by President Bill Clinton—who at that time personally, publicly opposed gay marriage, in addition to his belief that it should not be sanctioned by the Federal government—and ever since then, DOMA has been challenged by one court case after another, slowly eroding its frail constitutional structure.

And really, I agree with this ruling.

I do not agree with same-sex marriage. I think God was pretty clear (stick with me here) speaking strictly anatomically, that there is a proper “match” between a man and a woman. The physical is obvious. And then there is the story of Adam & Eve: when God made a partner for Adam, he made Eve. (Not “Steve”.. haha!! Good one!!!) 🙂

And, the other obvious reason for a marriage to be between one man and one woman for life is procreation. You can’t actually have kids without both sexes being involved. Are you with me?

Now, I know there are seemingly a billion nuances to this. There’s one side yelling, “Homosexuality is a SIN! God hates fags!!!” And then the other side—properly and rightly offended—begins to hate the God whom these “Righteous Ones” claim to represent. And the former dig deep into the scriptures to sling judgmental condemnations straight from the Mouth of God upon these forlorn, wayward, despicable sinners! (Meanwhile ignoring their own filthy rags, and/or logs in their eyes, etc.)

The debate about what is right and what is wrong will never, ever get us anywhere.

So, if we’re arguing from the Bible, let’s take a look at Jesus. He is the final, fullest revelation of the Father, right? So, Jesus must have said plenty of times that he hated homosexuality (and then, it stands to reason, he hated homosexuals too, right?)—AND he hated, opposed, campaigned against gay marriage. Of course.

Right?

But… I don’t think Jesus ever addressed homosexuality? Weird.

Does that mean it is not a “sin”? No. Does it mean it’s “right”? Still, no. (In fact, logically you can’t presume something is “right” from the absence of a declaration of it being “wrong”, can you?)

Liberty is Paramount

What I think it does show us is the first way that we can deal with this issue.

Back off. Love people. “He who is without sin cast the first stone.”

We are not the police of anyone. (Unless of course you are a police officer, and then, well, we thank you for your service.)

It’s not my job to tell you—or as is the pattern of some—to make you do what I think you should do. If you want to marry someone who has the same body parts as you, well, I personally can not “sanction” that, but, I do sanction your right to choose differently than me.

And I expect you to do the same for me.

This is the crux of the whole thing for me: Liberty. It’s not a moral issue, though of course underneath the minutia of all these cases, and legal and political battles it has moral implications.

It’s an issue of liberty. And not only that of the people wanting to legalize same-sex unions.

I may strongly disagree with you, but inherent in my understanding of liberty is your liberty. You are entitled to live your life however you please, so long as no one else is hurt (without their full, willing consent) in the process. We are all guaranteed these inalienable rights: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

Even if it’s “wrong”, or even if it might hurt us. (Larger portions at fast food restaurants? Smoking? Drinking? Marijuana? Driving without seat belts? Riding bikes without helmets?)

We have become a people who no longer celebrate diversity, and we are increasing the pace toward total control over everyone’s lives.

Equality? Or Victory?

The cry from those who want to legalize same-sex marriages at the Federal level—thus requiring all States to abide by this legal status, whether or not they sanction such unions—is that of “equal rights”. But what is happening is really just an attempt to gain control, and force others to do what you think they should do. One group telling another how they can and will act. Bakeries have to make wedding cakes, and churches will be forced to perform same-sex marriages1.

The bottom line is: if you want freedom, then you must also give freedom.

You can have freedom, and the consequences of freedom, and you must concurrently and equally allow others to think and live differently than you. There are obviously places where these freedoms intersect, and at that point a society must decide how to resolve such disputes. That is what our Constitution (and the government it created) allow for.

I am opposed to gay marriage. But I am even more opposed to legislating any bit of this. In fact, I’m all for unlegislating marriage altogether. I love being married to Jen—it’s maybe the most important piece of who I am after being a child of God. Do I care that New York State “recognizes” my marriage? Not really at all.

Much of this fight is because of tax penalties (including the case that brought about last Wednesday’s ruling) and legalization of immigrants, and other financial/taxation concerns. So drop them, as much as possible. Don’t tax money bequeathed to a loved one. Don’t provide financial benefits to married couples.2

Just leave me be.

Legislating Morality

I agree with the Supreme Court that defining marriage is unconstitutional, but not because it violates the constitution as much as because the federal government has no place defining marriage in the first place. Traditional marriage, or same-sex marriage, or multiple concurrent marriages, or polygamy, etc, etc.

Some seem to see government as the protector of morality, but is that really our government’s role? I heard a statement in regards to this subject on a podcast just this morning:

“It’s the government’s job to treat [marriage with] equal[ity], it’s not the government’s job to make moral choices for people.”3

Spot on.

Stop thinking that you can pass laws and make people into what you want them to be.

Laws do not shape people’s minds and hearts. Education, the Holy Spirit, and in general, a caring instructor will do that. (As well as common sense and life experience; those can be the best teachers sometimes.)

You can’t say “Gay marriage is legal and approved!” and change people’s beliefs by that statement. Nor do we conform people to “right thinking” by saying, “Gay marriage is abhorrent and banned!!!”

It just doesn’t work that way. The morality of our laws and government reflect who we are, the do not make us who we are. In addition, our laws are about blind justice (not preferential prejudice) and equality, for all.

God made us free. Our Founders recognized that. We are born with the right to choose, and our government is We the People, protecting each other’s inalienable rights. I’m still going to disagree on the specifics regarding gay marriage, but that’s my inalienable right. And yours.

And that is what we most need to protect here.

It’s not “hate” to say that homosexuality is a sin. (Nor is it usually very helpful, in a public setting.) It is encroaching on freedom to say that someone can’t think that, or even express that.

(Again, it may not be helpful, but let truth be truth. If you say homosexuality is not a choice, but as natural as different skin or hair colors, then let that be true. Don’t force it on someone who strongly disagrees.)

But that’s where we fall sadly short. We are supposed to be the Land of the Free, but we really want to be free to make other people like me.

How sad. We’re meant to be more.

Love mercy, do justly, walk humbly with your God

So let’s be. Love your neighbor—whatever they believe. Find common ground, even if there’s barely any to be found. Stop trying to make other people think like you do!

And most of all, pray. Not for God to change other people, but so your eyes will be opened to what he is doing. First in you, and then around you.

I think it’s good that DOMA is being questioned. DOMA arigato, SCOTUS. Hopefully that means there is a semblance of constitutuional liberty still present in our bloated, overreaching federal government.

And now we proceed with liberty our goal. And justice for all.

True justice, not petty political victory.

May God help us as we do.

sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_of_Marriage_Act
http://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/12pdf/12-307_6j37.pdf

  1. Note, I realize this is in Denmark, but this mentality is being championed here in the US. When we make the gay view the “right” view, the same errors in how we treat each other will inevitably be carried out, just in the reverse. ↩
  2. I’m sure there is much more here than I even have time to consider, but the general principle makes sense to me. Less government is better government! ↩
  3. Wayne Jacobsen, The God Journey Podcast – Sexuality & Transformation (6/28/13) ↩
by Greg

Nothing To Prove

Enjoying the sunImagine with me, please, that we are all free. There’s nothing to prove—ever.

I don’t have to defend my spoken thoughts to you, nor those I neglected to speak, though you wished I had.

You don’t have to explain yourself to me, either. And both of us are able to freely express what we think and feel and believe, without any threat of being shunned or belittled, or even just misunderstood.

What if we could all just relax in each other’s presence? I can be who I am, and equally enjoy who you are; no rules, no games, no pretense. Just be.

Pipe dream? Perhaps.

But maybe it’s not completely impossible.

Step Aside

In order for this to be the norm, rather than just a fanciful dream, the first thing that has to happen is we have to get over ourselves.

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. —Galatians 2:20

…when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death[.] For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. —Romans 8:3-4

…he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? —Matthew 6:30

You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price.—1 Corinthians 6:19-20

If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. —Matthew 10:39

There are so many more examples in Scripture, but I’ll leave you to find those on your own1.

The gist here is: we’re dead. I no longer live, Christ lives in me.

We are no longer in the picture. When we unite ourselves with Jesus, we are no longer the central character in the story. (Not sure we ever were?)

Baptism is a very clear picture of this transaction. We are buried (dead)2, and then clothed with Christ3, and raised now in him, to our new life4. A life lived out in him.

So it’s not Greg who needs to get that thing right anymore, it’s Jesus. It’s not Greg who is hurt if he is perceived incorrectly, because I’m “safe” in Jesus. It’s not Greg who must live up to people’s expectations, because Jesus already fully accepts me, as I am.

No Agendas

The flip side of this is that if I am free indeed by God’s grace (John 8:36) but you are not… then what? What if you are really annoying? Or just plain wrong! Don’t I have to stand up for what is right? Don’t I need to correct you, or put you in your place, or nudge—or shove—you into right action?

No. I don’t. We don’t.

While it is definitely true that so much of our unhealthy, uncomfortable relating can be traced back to our desire to protect our own image, or reputation, or attempting to avoid hurt or embarrassment. We are so often far too much in the way of our own living.

BUT… the other large piece is our need to control.

This is actually quite connected to our own self preserving. Not controlling is much scarier, much less certain, much more vulnerable. And so we often implement our agendas for the people we are with, becoming coy masters of manipulation!

It’s usually not overt. But it can be. That’s easy to spot. The non-overt agendas are the most damaging, and are a big cause of uncomfortable feelings5.

It is often uncomfortable to allow someone to be different from me.

This almost certainly comes back to me thinking of myself still—rather than being dead, as I really am—and feeling too uncertain and vulnerable with someone who may not accept me, since it’s now obvious that I’m different.

But who says that’s how the Other is thinking?

No Fear

I remember being at a retreat one time, where—when invited—people began confessing their struggles to each other. Nearly everyone was timid, even scared at first. I can’t really be open! What would people think of me if they knew [fill in the disgusting blank]??? But as the first brave soul fully opened up, kicking Fear in the face, there was only warm reception, lots of sympathetic nods of understanding, and…

Plenty more kicking Fear in the face.

By the end of this time that began as an orchestrated, planned event, the entire room had bonded deeply and the rest of that weekend was so free and happy, and deeply enjoyable.

Why? Because one person was willing to be fully vulnerable. Unafraid. Completely open and honest about what felt like forbidden, innermost secrets. Then, because there is amazing power in vulnerability, everyone in the room breathed deeply of grace and mercy and enjoyed beautiful relationship with fellow broken people.

We are all broken—hurt, slave to some past or fear or habit or addiction, or just a big fat jerk.

It’s time to stop pretending.

It’s so easy to forget that everyone else is like me. And then miss the fullness of life when I “cling to my life”. (My “life” being my reputation, or public image, or whatever it might be that I imagine defines me.)

It’s Really Simple

It’s always amazing to me how simple this is. Somehow it comes down to this every time.

  1. God Loves ME. It’s not a song, not a holy platitude… it’s real. And it matters the most. Remember this? “[P]erfect love expels all fear”6
  2. I Need Him. I was made to be with him, in him. I am not OK without him. And he likes me. Invites me to join him on this crazy ride of life.
  3. TRUST HIM. This one should flow easily from the first two… but it is never easy. Simple, yes. Easy, definitely no. It involves consciously, daily “taking up our cross” and denying ourselves—becoming less—so that we can live more.

It’s so crazy that it always comes back to trusting Him more and me less. Every single area of life.

So the less I hang onto me, and the need to keep up my image or my reputation—the less I “cling to my life”—the more enjoyable it will be for others to be around me. AND, the more that is true—even if no one else around me “gets” that, or lives that—well, it might turn out that other people are more free and relaxed and enjoyable because in my own self-absence, I have no agenda for you either!

What a concept!

Now, listen. A lot of this is speaking in some pretty large generalities. We are very complex. I don’t even pretend to imagine that I have “the answer” for living a life with “nothing to prove”.

But I do know I am loved.
And I do know that you are, too.

And I so want to live that way. Every day.

I just need to remember I have nothing to prove.

And neither do you.

  1. One time, when I was teaching an adult Sunday School class, fresh out of Bible college, I was referencing Scriptures to help make the points of the lesson for the day, and a very good-natured but oft contentious older man—older than me, in my very early twenties then—was finally so exasperated with my repeatedly answering his questions with Scripture verses, he blurted out, “Please! No more Scripture!” I was stunned to silence for several seconds, but as he decided to back down a bit, I finally regained my composure and continued with my lesson on what the Bible said about a great many things… (Which is hard to do without Scripture!) ↩
  2. Romans 6 (Yes, read the whole chapter! Hey, why not the whole book!) ↩
  3. Galatians 3:27: And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. ↩
  4. Colossians 2:12: For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead. ↩
  5. Example: I begin to feel uncomfortable because you are different than me. You are a Patriots fan. Like, a real Patriots fan. You not only adore Tom Brady, you even like Bill Belichick! I am a Bills fan, and Bills fans can not tolerate anyone who would even acknowledge the rightful existence of the New England franchise. So I begin to harass you, and attempt to embarrass you. Subtly, of course, so as to protect my own image. I mean, I’m not a bad guy… but you… like… Well! That’s just wrong! ↩
  6. 1 John 4:17-19 for context. ↩
by Greg

Question With Boldness

Thomas JeffersonThough most people nowadays can conceive of no better poster child for agnosticism (or, at the very least, deism), Jefferson himself may have had a bone to pick with such people.

In a letter to his nephew, on the topic of forming his own views on religion (a topic which he labeled “important”), Thomas Jefferson wrote the following, now reasonably well-known words:

Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.

(Somewhat of an aside: My favorite quote from Thomas Jefferson’s autobiography regarding his own faith, “…I am a REAL CHRISTIAN…”. Well that about says it.) 🙂

There are (many) times when I think my being appropriately labeled a “Christian” might be questioned by those who determine such things. I believe I’ve written about my borderline-heretical thinking at least once or twice.

In fact, just the other day I was reading through the Old Testament book of Ezekiel and wondering things like, “Wow, this voice of God does not seem to be the same as even the book of Jeremiah, one book before—and he seemed pretty peeved in that book, too! I wonder if some of the books in what we call the Bible are even supposed to be in there? Who says that council got it right?”

Now, proceed with caution here. I am NOT SAYING that I unequivocally, irrevocably believe and hold to be fact that such questions even might be “true” (in the black-and-white sense of “true”) …

But perhaps my reason for such an emphasized statement above is that, in dealing with things of God, it’s sometimes considered heresy merely to question.

And, folks, that is plain wrong. Really, really wrong.

So, I may be a heretic, but I’m going to keep questioning.

Turns out, by the end of Ezekiel there was some really neat stuff in there kinda flipping the “rules and regulations” voice of God (being interpreted through Ezekiel) on its head. Chapter forty-seven has a really neat image of God abiding in a temple from which living water flows, giving life to everything it touches, including dead things. Hmm… the Living Water… giving Life… where have I heard those things before…?

I believe Thomas Jefferson had it right when he urged his nephew to throw away all bias and personal opinion and really dig into the facts, evidences, truths, and his own reason. Think. Don’t be afraid of the truth (or that it might not be the truth). Find, and know what is true. This is important! To know and understand the Creator is much more important than anything else.

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. —John 10:10

I am the way, the truth, and the life. —John 14:6

And this is the way to have eternal life—to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth. —John 17:3

We believe in education in this home. Not school, or curriculum—although those can have their place.

Real education. Seek out original sources; find people who are not only knowledgeable but passionate about a subject and learn from them (whether in person, or through recorded words); then, find someone else and hear other voices. Putting all of these pieces together, along with your God-given intellect (reason), and asking the Spirit to guide the entire process. (He is the one who teaches us, after all.)

Question with boldness, even the very existence of God.

And the world—starting with you—will be better for it.

If you wondered about that “I am a REAL CHRISTIAN” quote from Thomas Jefferson, here’s the full text of his introduction to what some call the “Jefferson Bible” (but he titled otherwise). It should give an even more convincing context to that quote!

I have made a wee little book from the Gospels which I call the Philosophy of Jesus. It is a paradigma of his doctrines, made by cutting the texts out of the book and arranging them on the pages of a blank book, in a certain order of time or subject. A more beautiful or precious morsel of ethics I have never seen. It is a document in proof that I am a REAL CHRISTIAN, that is to say, a disciple of the doctrines of Jesus, very different from the Platonists, who call ME the infidel and THEMSELVES Christians and preachers of the Gospel, while they draw all of their characteristic dogmas from what its author never said nor saw. They have compounded from the heathen mysteries a system beyond the comprehension of man, of which the great reformer of the vicious ethics and deism of the Jews, were he to return on earth, would not recognize one feature. (Thomas Jefferson: In His Own Words, Maureen Harrison & Steve Gilbert, editors. ©1993 Excellent Books, New York, NY.)

by Greg

Opposite World

I’m different. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

I know we’re all unique. (And since unique means ‘one of a kind’, well then, how can there be a ‘different’—since there is no ‘normal’, nor ‘standard’?)

But I’m really different.

It’s quite nearly every single thing that could possible be ‘different’.

Allow me to list a few examples:

  • I love cold and dark weather.
  • The contents of my pockets are opposite from most everyone else I know.
  • I drink tea, not coffee.
  • All alcohol is offensive to me. (Aside from rubbing alcohol, I suppose…)
  • I tend to fit the female “profile” more than the male (too many ways to list in this format)
  • I prefer books over movies.
  • I like audio over video.
  • I don’t even get “fads” or “trends” (especially in clothes, but really in all things)
  • I home school my kids.
  • I am in Jesus, and his church, but I do not align myself with any “named” organization you’d think of as “church”.
  • I don’t vote any party line.
  • I can’t be not real. I think “can’t” might actually be accurate.
  • I really care nothing for money.
  • I also care nothing for fame. (In fact, I’d rather not have any particular attention paid to me.)

I’m not completely a freak. I mean… I do like NHL hockey (there are a handful of people who are in that boat with me), I have a Facebook account (again, not in the minority there), and I’m a huge Buffalo Bills fan.

Oh yeah… that one should probably go in that list above… 🙂

SO, I am not sure why God decided to make me his prime example of the Opposite World, but there must be some design in it. He calls me (along with all of you) his “masterpiece”, so …

The good thing is, it kinda matches Jesus.

The greatest of all is the servant of all? Lose your life to gain it? Turn the other cheek? He who is without sin cast the first stone?

Yeah. That kind of opposite.

Maybe we’re meant to be at least a little opposite. Are there ways you feel “opposite”, or backwards, or different, or strangely unique? If not … are there ways you wish you were, and are just afraid of what other people might think if they knew you were “strangely unique”?

Jesus didn’t seem to care about what other people thought of him.

Except one time.

His disciples were telling him that people were talking about him. They were saying he was the reincarnation of their favorite prophet, looking for some way to label him.

Jesus probably nodded, taking in what they were saying, and then he turned their story back to them with a simple question: “Who do you say that I am?”

Maybe in that question we can hear that it doesn’t really matter what other people think. It matters what you think.

God definitely made me “different”. But you are, too. You are unique. There’s something about you that he loves more than any of his other creations.

It’s the “you” part.

I’d wager I’m not the only one living in Opposite World. For some reason it frequently becomes obvious just how blatantly opposite I am, but I know I’m not alone.

In whatever way you are you … be that. Live it. Enjoy it.

There’s always plenty of room here in Opposite World!

by Greg

Allowing For The Process

seedling

Sometimes I’m really, really impatient. Also short-sighted, selfish, and in general unwilling to let others—even those I love the most—enjoy the blessings that I have received and thrived upon throughout my life.

Yikes. That really doesn’t sound good!

But it’s (in a way) really true.

God is reminding me recently that he is patient beyond comprehension. He understands the various processes of life. Learning, growing, grieving, maturing… many “ing”s take time. Lots of time.

And at times, I think I’d prefer we skip to the good part: the end!

But everything worthwhile takes time. You can’t have the delicious, sun-ripened fruit without many weeks of heat and quiet toil. You don’t get the good end without the process.

Our lives are like that. It’s always amazing to look back and see what God has brought us through, and where he’s brought us to through all of those things. We learn from our own decisions and their consequences, and we learn from events we’re thrown into in the chaos of life (through no fault or credit of our own). Everything along the way shapes who we are.

Parenting is like that. As a dad, I can not just shape my kids into who they will be. I thinkI do have a good deal of influence, but in the end, each of my kids is a unique individual, created by God for a life-long journey with him. Their own life-long journey.

Sometimes I tire of repeating the same instructions to each of my kids… many times, daily. I wish they would just get it! Think of someone besides yourself! Be a peacemaker! Be kind to your brother/sister! Will you please just listen to what I say?

But it’s a process. A long, slow process.

Just like I have been allowed to have.

I’m far from a perfect parent. That’s for sure. I am going to need to receive many reminders that I am not the Potter in my kids’ lives. I am not the one moulding them into the masterpiece they were made to be.

My father is. (No, not you Dad… I mean your father, too. No… not Grandpa…)

Each of us has a journey, and we’re each led (personally, individually) by our Maker, Shepherd, Father… he’s many things, he’s everything.

And he’s got a plan.

If you’re frustrated with the process right now, just take a deep breath. Talk to the One you’re following and enjoy the place, the moment that he has you in.

Then—even more difficult sometimes—do the same for the people around you. Maybe your kids, or your spouse. Maybe just a good friend of yours. Stop meddling. Leave room for the process, and the Sculptor.

Allowing for the process will produce the greatest results. (I’m not even sure there’s anything else we can do, really! We are not the ones in control, that’s for sure!)

So breathe. Relax. And marvel at the process. In your own life, and also in the lives of the people around you.

Maybe another place to find the fun!

by Greg

Find The Fun

fun-kids

I am an optimist. I tend to pretty easily see the good, or the potential good in nearly every situation and circumstance. I am generally also very trusting of others—their motives, agendas (or lack thereof), and actions—which seems to stem from my general outlook on life.

Was I born this way? I don’t know. Sometimes my wife thinks that I am.

Jen is the opposite. She is very critical, cautious, judicious, and very distrusting of most people; especially people she doesn’t know.

You might call us a good match: the Optimist and the Pessimist. She keeps us out of trouble and I help keep life more fun.

So if this is just a matter of our genetic code, what do we do with verses like this one?

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

There are a few others. (Check out Colossians and Philippians.) Always be joyful? Be thankful in all circumstances?

Sounds pretty optimistic.

So is pessimism a “sin”? How about when I described it as I did above: critical, cautious, judicious? Those are not bad things; not sins.

When the younger people in our home start grumbling more than they are not grumbling, I can often trace it back to some ingratitude in their hearts. Somehow they are not able to see the potential in a situation, or be thankful for the good that is there—that is always there.

So I remind them of the truth of these verses. I don’t see them as commands coming down from an oppressive ruler. Rather, I think they are reminders that to live life fully—a desire Jesus expressly stated he has for us—we will do better to look for the good, to be joyful, be thankful.

A couple weeks ago I was saying these things to the kids again and I used the phrase “find the fun”. That seems appropriate. If you find yourself beginning to grumble or complain, then intentionally look for the fun.

You’re a smart person! You can do it! Take a breath, ignore anything that’s bad, and focus your mind and heart on something good. (Even if the “good” is that your current situation is only temporary!)

Find the fun.

Since it’s repeated in scripture multiple times, I’m guessing that practicing optimism is not only an innate personality found in a portion of the population. It would seem odd that if God made some of us to be pessimists—incapable of “finding the fun”—then he wouldn’t have admonished us to be joyful or thankful always.

There must be something there that makes all of our lives better.

So today I admonish you to find the fun. Go ahead, do it right now. There’s something today, something right now that is a knock-your-socks-off kinda good. You might be separated from it by geographic space or time (maybe it’s a person you love, or something you need to wait for right now) … but it’s still good. It’s still fun.

And your heart will be lighter. Your day will be brighter.

You found the fun.

May your day be full of fun. It’s out there, waiting to be found!