Not Like Us

I was thinking about life this morning, in the shower… as I usually do. Sometimes it’s the mundane “what do I have to do today” kind of stuff, other times it’s “meaning of life” kinda stuff. I suppose it was the latter today.

We’re still in a pretty good pinch financially. We have some temporary relief for the moment thanks to some incredible (and unsolicited) generosity of our friends and family. And for some reason, even when there seems to be a lead (a new client, interest in our trailer for sale, or any other possible income) they seem to fall through. It can be pretty frustrating…

What would cross my mind in years past would be that “God disciplines those he loves.” I would begin to search inside myself to find something about me, or something I was doing or not doing, that might be displeasing to God. That usually did not take very long. So, I would tell God I am sorry for that, and ask him to help me fix it, and I would assume that my repentant heart would curry God’s favor once again. (Meaning, whatever bad thing I was calling God’s discipline would be lifted from me.)

Sometimes that would happen, other times it would not. Certainly could not detect any sort of pattern. The only pattern I could discern was my repeated attempts to work my negative circumstances in life into some form of disciplinary action from my Father with a capital F.

But over the past many years, I have been learning of his grace – unconditional grace – and his way of dealing with us. It’s not do right, get good… do wrong, get bad. At least not always. Not that predictable. The one thing that I can count on is that he loves me. A lot. So many scriptures tell me that. A lot.

Still, we persist in this idea that if something is wrong, God is punishing us. (And sometimes we think the reverse, where good stuff means we must be doing “something right”, but usually we just take the credit ourselves for that.)

Is our sudden lack of income the result of some known or unknown sin in my life? Maybe Jen’s? If I repent of my current failures (of which there are many) will the money start flowing again? I obviously can’t know the answers to those questions, but I think I can see evidence that suggests the results will not be (necessarily) directly tied to my choices or actions in the immediate future. There may be consequences to my poor decisions, mistakes, failures, or general lack of wisdom and discrepancy. But, God does not seem to operate on a “if a = b then c” system.

God almost does the opposite. When the disobedient, unruly, lazy son asked for his share of his father’s inheritance… his dad gave it to him. He knew what his son would do with it, but he still gave it to him. And, he let his son go off and actually do what he knew he was going to do. How many of us could actually knowingly fund our children’s debauchery? And – even more – allow them to really go through with it? I’m not sure I could…

But God is way more patient that we are. God also sees way more of the big picture. He is not doting over every little thing we do wrong or don’t do right. He walks with us, and encourages us toward the good, and away from the bad. If we fail, he is there to pick us up. He’s not there to immediately punish us. He wants us to succeed. (Not in a “success deity” kind of way… in the Kingdom success kinda way. A very backwards way.)

All of this may not make too much sense, but I could see God working this through in my head and heart the other day (when I started this article) and wanted to write it down, and perhaps share it with you. You may think that bad circumstances in your life are God’s direct intervention to “teach you a lesson”! I can not know what he is doing (or not doing) in and for you. But I do know that he is teaching me to trust him. Trust his love, trust his goodness, trust his provision, trust his lead. I have been learning again through a tough financial time – a tough time to trust my Father – just what matters in life. It’s not my stuff. None of it. It’s the relationships he has placed me in. My family, my friends, my neighbors. All I need to do is trust and follow God’s lead (based on what I have learned of him, and seen him do in the past), and love the people whom he has placed around me. Every day there is another chance to learn.

And isn’t that true “discipline”?

No Needy People Among Them…

All the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had … and God’s great blessing was upon them all. There were no needy people among them, because those who owned land or houses would sell them and bring the money to the apostles to give to those in need.

Acts 4:32-35 (NLT)

Last night I had a dream. It was crazy. One of those very vivid dreams, and almost seemed relevant to some issues pressing on my mind and heart of late. I awoke this morning still contemplating all that I could remember from it. Some, or perhaps all of it, was related to the Scripture I later remembered and you just read above.

We were at some sort of convention of Christians. It was not a “church” thing, nor was it a “Christian convention”. It was a convention of (mostly) Christians. One of the speakers – at least for the event that I witnessed in the dream – was a friend of mine from college, whom I admire in real life for his skills and business savvy. He does business well. He was doing it well in this dream.

After one of the main session times, we were chatting (he, and I, and Jen) and he said, “Man, that was so great! I heard that one person just donated $25,000 on the spot to [this thing we were raising money for]!” (Note: I can’t remember what it was we were raising money for… but it was some facility or program or something that was to help people… it wasn’t a church building, or a church program even… but it was Christians working together, raising money for this thing.)

My reaction was, “Wow. That is amazing.” But, along with being impressed by the generosity, I was also amazed that we were spending money on this facility or program. First, I was impressed with my friend, who somehow had managed to convince people to donate such large amounts of money… 🙂 But then I was both impressed (as stated above) and then incredulous at what we throw money at.

In the dream, I turned to Jen and shared those thoughts with her, and then began to think aloud.

“What we really should do together,” I theorized, “is give large sums of money like that to some organization that gets Christians out of debt. Clean slate, everything-is-forgiven out of debt. No questions asked.” I felt like I was on a roll, so I continued, “We create this organization that is a non-profit, 501c3 organization and convince Christians who have plenty to donate sums like that $25,000 – receiving their tax deduction, of course – and the organization would distribute the money to Christians who are swimming in debt.

“Of course, we couldn’t do that for ourselves,” I explained, “since it might look a little fishy. But we could take a salary as the folks who run the whole thing.” Jen’s eyes lit up at that (in the dream still), as (at least in my conscious mind) she is always wishing we had just a little bit more money to pay our bills and buy groceries. I continued, “There would be no stipulations… just an enormous, overpowering debt that could be wiped clean by the Church… Christians helping Christians. ‘And there were no needy people among them…'”

I actually don’t remember where the dream ended, but it was somewhere around there. As my conscious thoughts took over, I began to think of the ramifications of my plan. At first, it seemed quite a fine idea. It seems to me to be a much better use of money – actually helping people instead of building buildings, or creating more stuff to do. And I thought of a couple refinements that might make the idea actually fly.

First, the receiving family would commit to destroying all of their credit cards, except one. But that one would be reduced to no more than a $5000 credit limit, for emergencies. What good would it be to pay off someone’s debt if materialism – in whatever form – is the real problem? The debt will just return again.

Second, there will be ABSOLUTELY NO APPLICATIONS. The church (as you have noticed from everything I write and/or say) can not function as an institution. In so doing, you remove the life, the heart, the humanity from it. The funds would be distributed via relationships. Slower, yes. But a more vital and real solution to a difficult issue? I think so. People whose debt could be relieved would meet with someone from the organization, face to face, and after a meeting or two, funds could be apportioned.

So, theoretically, it all made good sense… and if it worked, a nice salary would help us pay our bills, and (eventually) eliminate our own debt.

But as I thought of all the logistics, and how much I seriously loathe dealing with money, and just how crazy money makes people – and how easily I would be taken advantage of… it became QUITE clear that even if this was a cool idea that came to me in a dream… I am definitely not the person to make it happen!.

Are you? Is this a good idea? Is there something already like this? What I have seen is that places help reduce debt… and teach folks how to better manage their money… but nothing as full of grace and so very church-in-Acts-like as my crazy dream-born idea.

I would be curious what you (especially if you are a follower of Jesus) think about such an idea… is it even possible in America where all must fend for themselves… you have to earn your keep… work for what you get… etc, etc, etc.

Any thoughts?